Quitting church
December 11, 2016 at 3:06 pm
(This post was last modified: January 27, 2019 at 2:43 pm by Shell B.
Edit Reason: Redact first name
)
Hi everyone,
I'm new to this forum, and I usually don't do this sort of thing, but I really just needed to write some things down and clear my mind. I'm warning you, this is probably going to be a long and boring post
The thing is this:
For the last few days, I've felt like someone was twisting my stomach and every time I think about what I'm going to do, I feel my heartbeat quicken and my mouth go dry.
So what am I going to do? I am going to tell my parents that I'm quitting church.
So just for some background: I grew up in a very religious christian family. Everyone in this community attends church twice every sunday and if you don't people will notice it. Everyone prays for every meal and there are a thousand, more subtle (and sometimes bizare) rules that I've been keeping for most of my life. When I was 13 or 14 years old, I came to the conclusion that I didn't believe any of what the church said. After that it took me more than a year to gather enough courage to tell my parents. After that happened, it didn't mean I had the freedom to make my own choices: my parents still expected me to follow their rules and to attend church like before. I actually don't think my parents believed me at first.
Right now I'm 17 and I recently moved out, because I'm going to university. But, still, every weekend I go back to my family and on sundays, I go to church. That's been going on for some months now, and to be completely honest, I'm sick of it.
Don't get me wrong - I love my family - but I feel oppressed and I think my parents should have given a choice: now I either need to hurt them or I keep doing something I really don't want to do.
So why haven't I quit church yet? Why am I so ridiculously nervous for this? I know my parents would never disown me or anything - there won't be much consequences to quitting church.
I have come to this conclusion: for me, it's not just about not wanting to hurt my family. It's far more that my entire life, people have told me that it's wrong to make my own choices, especially if my parents don't agree. I always hid the 'wrong' things I did ('wrong' books, movies, clothes etc.). But I can't hide quitting church. The only way I'm going to do this is just telling them and not giving in.
I'm just scared to death.
But this isn't just about me being nervous. If anyone who reads this is in a similar position: you don't need to do things, just because you've always been taught that you need to. Sometimes you need to make some freedom for yourself. That sounds easier than it is, I know.
But I've made up my mind and gathered my courage. All I need to do is take a (very) deep breath and make a leap - sometimes a big leap is the only option. Just hoping for the best.
[Name redacted]
I'm new to this forum, and I usually don't do this sort of thing, but I really just needed to write some things down and clear my mind. I'm warning you, this is probably going to be a long and boring post
The thing is this:
For the last few days, I've felt like someone was twisting my stomach and every time I think about what I'm going to do, I feel my heartbeat quicken and my mouth go dry.
So what am I going to do? I am going to tell my parents that I'm quitting church.
So just for some background: I grew up in a very religious christian family. Everyone in this community attends church twice every sunday and if you don't people will notice it. Everyone prays for every meal and there are a thousand, more subtle (and sometimes bizare) rules that I've been keeping for most of my life. When I was 13 or 14 years old, I came to the conclusion that I didn't believe any of what the church said. After that it took me more than a year to gather enough courage to tell my parents. After that happened, it didn't mean I had the freedom to make my own choices: my parents still expected me to follow their rules and to attend church like before. I actually don't think my parents believed me at first.
Right now I'm 17 and I recently moved out, because I'm going to university. But, still, every weekend I go back to my family and on sundays, I go to church. That's been going on for some months now, and to be completely honest, I'm sick of it.
Don't get me wrong - I love my family - but I feel oppressed and I think my parents should have given a choice: now I either need to hurt them or I keep doing something I really don't want to do.
So why haven't I quit church yet? Why am I so ridiculously nervous for this? I know my parents would never disown me or anything - there won't be much consequences to quitting church.
I have come to this conclusion: for me, it's not just about not wanting to hurt my family. It's far more that my entire life, people have told me that it's wrong to make my own choices, especially if my parents don't agree. I always hid the 'wrong' things I did ('wrong' books, movies, clothes etc.). But I can't hide quitting church. The only way I'm going to do this is just telling them and not giving in.
I'm just scared to death.
But this isn't just about me being nervous. If anyone who reads this is in a similar position: you don't need to do things, just because you've always been taught that you need to. Sometimes you need to make some freedom for yourself. That sounds easier than it is, I know.
But I've made up my mind and gathered my courage. All I need to do is take a (very) deep breath and make a leap - sometimes a big leap is the only option. Just hoping for the best.
[Name redacted]
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