(June 3, 2018 at 9:06 am)LastPoet Wrote: You can't make an omelet without breaking some eggs Emjay.

I know and I hope he learns something from this and maybe comes back in a better place mentally... or doesn't come back... his choice... at the end of the day, que sera sera on that. He has a friend in me if he still wants it, but, and he knows this already, I won't play the blame game. But that goes for any of my friends.

Shell B didn't do anything wrong in my view. It was hard when he was provoking her to stay silent.

Anyone seen cyberman?

(June 3, 2018 at 9:13 am)Catholic_Lady Wrote:

(June 3, 2018 at 6:06 am)LadyForCamus Wrote: Yes, you’re right.  That was careless of me. I apologize.  Can that be removed?  It’s too late for me to edit.

---

Whoa, what?! 

And no, Ofc I’m not blaming you for someone else calling you a cunt.  I think I’ve made it pretty clear to the community and to him that that was a horrible, derogatory thing to say to you.  My point was that he isn’t the only one who stirs the drama pot.  I guess I misread your post to him, because it seemed to me you were comparing him to EP.  Whether or not that would constitute stirring the pot is an entirely separate issue from his ability to handle discussing the guy, but if you say that’s not what you were doing then I will take you at your word.

Agreed with all this. To him, I said "You csnt say that, that's totally uncalled for and innapropriate", and to the others I say "You know he has autism and a tendency to go off the rails, so don't provoke him."

So to those saying "why should *I* tip toe around him to prevent him from acting out?" I say this again - a person can only control their own actions, not those of anyone else.

But then again, that's just my opinion. If both sides want to continue to perpetuate drama, that's their choice.

Yeah, that’s the thing.  Hammy is 100% responsible for the things he says to people, autism or no.  He needs to learn social and communication skills, as well as coping mechanisms to the best of his ability just like anyone else in order to have healthy relationships, and function in society. IMO, the backlash he got for calling ShellB that word was totally justified, and I hope that in the future he will reconsider its derogatory connotation here in the States before using it so flippantly.  He did not care for that backlash so he chose to leave of his own free will.  All that being said...

...it does seem to me at times, that the people who complain the most about his outbursts are the same people who bait him into arguments. That is a choice as well.  Now, obviously I’m not in every thread every day, and I don’t see every fight that happens, so I freely admit I could be missing important context here.  I could be wrong.  I’m just saying that’s how it appears from my end.

(June 3, 2018 at 9:51 am)LadyForCamus Wrote:

(June 3, 2018 at 9:13 am)Catholic_Lady Wrote: Agreed with all this. To him, I said "You csnt say that, that's totally uncalled for and innapropriate", and to the others I say "You know he has autism and a tendency to go off the rails, so don't provoke him."

So to those saying "why should *I* tip toe around him to prevent him from acting out?" I say this again - a person can only control their own actions, not those of anyone else.

But then again, that's just my opinion. If both sides want to continue to perpetuate drama, that's their choice.

Yeah, that’s the thing.  Hammy is 100% responsible for the things he says to people here, autism or no.  He needs to learn social and communication skills as well as coping mechanisms to the best of his ability just like anyone else.  IMO, the backlash he got for calling ShellB that word was justified, and I hope that in the future he will reconsider its derogatory connotation here in the States before using it so flippantly.  He did not care for the backlash so he chose to leave of his own free will.  All That being said...

it does seem to me at times that the people who complain the most about how he interacts with others are the same people who bait him into arguments. That is a choice as well.  Now, obviously I’m not in every thread every day, and I don’t see every fight that happens, so I freely admit I could be missing important context here.  I could be wrong.  I’m just saying that’s how it appears from my end.

Honestly, Shell B in one thread was just joking with another member, and he took it personally and to do with him.

He is frustrated for other reasons in my view. The peace he is looking is somewhere else and can't be found in interactions with people online or even I argue in RL.

(June 3, 2018 at 9:51 am)LadyForCamus Wrote:

(June 3, 2018 at 9:13 am)Catholic_Lady Wrote: Agreed with all this. To him, I said "You csnt say that, that's totally uncalled for and innapropriate", and to the others I say "You know he has autism and a tendency to go off the rails, so don't provoke him."

So to those saying "why should *I* tip toe around him to prevent him from acting out?" I say this again - a person can only control their own actions, not those of anyone else.

But then again, that's just my opinion. If both sides want to continue to perpetuate drama, that's their choice.

Yeah, that’s the thing.  Hammy is 100% responsible for the things he says to people, autism or no.  He needs to learn social and communication skills as well as coping mechanisms to the best of his ability just like anyone else in order to have healthy relationships and function in society. IMO, the backlash he got for calling ShellB that word was justified, and I hope that in the future he will reconsider its derogatory connotation here in the States before using it so flippantly.  He did not care for the backlash so he chose to leave of his own free will.  All That being said...

it does seem to me at times that the people who complain the most about how he interacts with others are the same people who bait him into arguments. That is a choice as well.  Now, obviously I’m not in every thread every day, and I don’t see every fight that happens, so I freely admit I could be missing important context here.  I could be wrong.  I’m just saying that’s how it appears from my end.

You know, a lot of people here have commented to the effect that Hammy's behavior has worsened from what it was prior to his diagnosis. However, I remember the early days of dealing with a mental illness and realizing how clumsy one's first attempts can be. One can, after a diagnosis, engage in both over compensation and under compensation, both in turn, alternating like a crazy yo-yo. It's easy to say that one's diagnosis shouldn't change you, but how can it not. For the first time in your life you're dealing with a reality that you not only not fully understand, but which you never foresaw having to even deal with. So, while I wouldn't necessarily make this an excuse for his behavior, I think it's also possible these latest episodes are a consequence of him trying to find his wings.

(June 3, 2018 at 9:58 am)Jörmungandr Wrote:

(June 3, 2018 at 9:51 am)LadyForCamus Wrote: Yeah, that’s the thing.  Hammy is 100% responsible for the things he says to people, autism or no.  He needs to learn social and communication skills as well as coping mechanisms to the best of his ability just like anyone else in order to have healthy relationships and function in society. IMO, the backlash he got for calling ShellB that word was justified, and I hope that in the future he will reconsider its derogatory connotation here in the States before using it so flippantly.  He did not care for the backlash so he chose to leave of his own free will.  All That being said...

it does seem to me at times that the people who complain the most about how he interacts with others are the same people who bait him into arguments. That is a choice as well.  Now, obviously I’m not in every thread every day, and I don’t see every fight that happens, so I freely admit I could be missing important context here.  I could be wrong.  I’m just saying that’s how it appears from my end.

You know, a lot of people here have commented to the effect that Hammy's behavior has worsened from what it was prior to his diagnosis.  However, I remember the early days of dealing with a mental illness and realizing how clumsy one's first attempts can be.  One can, after a diagnosis, engage in both over compensation and under compensation, both in turn, alternating like a crazy yo-yo.  It's easy to say that one's diagnosis shouldn't change you, but how can it not.  For the first time in your life you're dealing with a reality that you not only not fully understand, but which you never foresaw having to even deal with.  So, while I wouldn't necessarily make this an excuse for his behavior, I think it's also possible these latest episodes are a consequence of him trying to find his wings.

You are a compassionate person Jo. Well spoken.

Anyone seen lutrinae?

(June 3, 2018 at 10:07 am)SaStrike Wrote: Anyone seen lutrinae?

Legend has it he evolved to Kit.

(June 3, 2018 at 10:07 am)SaStrike Wrote: Anyone seen lutrinae?

You kit-ing me?