So, I tend to think fucked up things are hilarious. Or think hilarious things are hilarious at the worst possible moments. I can't be the only one. Tell me your stories.

I'll start.

My great aunt had a love for dolls. All kinds of weird dolls. She had one that looked a lot like Chucky. For some reason, my uncle decided that was the one he would prop up in her coffin on the day of her funeral. It was all I could do not to laugh so hard I cried. Even my teenaged nephew gave me side eye when I texted him to look at the doll.

My birth, and every day since.

Picking up a floater that was fairly well decomposing - I puked out my snorkel - which got the guys on the boat laughing. Once the dry heaves subsided - so did I.


What else ya gonna do?

Went for a skinny dip. Trusted older brother to watch my clothes. You can take it from there.

My first boyfriend's mom walked in on us in a compromising position. I was on top. She cried. I was so nervous that I laughed. Ugh.

At secondary school I was in a lesson when I felt myself needing to pass some wind.

So I did it as discretely as I could. But then I felt a sensation that you really don't ever want.

It was wet.

I checked. It soaked through to the seat.

I looked at the person next to me, and at the two others sitting across the table and thought to myself, there's no way out of this with my dignity intact is there? Nope. So instead, I decided to own the situation. I turned to the boy sitting next to me, completely deadpan I said:

"Dave. I've just shat myself".

He laughed and then asked if I was serious. So I said:

"Absolutely. Look there, it's soaked through to my seat."

I stood up and pointed to the puddle on the seat. As word spread across the classroom like wildfire and the teacher started getting confused about what was happening, I stuck my hand up and said:

"Sir? I've just shat myself. Would you mind if I leave to go to the toilets and clean myself up?"

I was excused by the teacher and when I got to the toilet I basically exploded. By the time I had stopped and cleaned myself up, the lesson had finished and the class had moved to another room for another subject.

I walked into that classroom with even the teacher laughing.

Wow, you are a brave woman.

When I was a kid (9, 10, something like that), the family attended a cousin's wedding, a semi-formal affair.  At the reception afterwards, Mum told me to stop tugging at my suit collar before I damaged it.

In a voice that was louder than I thought, I asked, 'Why?  Will I have to dress up again when they get divorced?'  Not only did I get a rather long, uncomfortable lecture on the sacrament of marriage from the officiant but for the next week, I had every shite job round the farm that Mum could think up.

Boru

Hehe, I love when kids are jerks.

(May 20, 2019 at 11:09 am)Shell B Wrote: So, I tend to think fucked up things are hilarious. Or think hilarious things are hilarious at the worst possible moments. I can't be the only one. Tell me your stories.

I'll start.

My great aunt had a love for dolls. All kinds of weird dolls. She had one that looked a lot like Chucky. For some reason, my uncle decided that was the one he would prop up in her coffin on the day of her funeral. It was all I could do not to laugh so hard I cried. Even my teenaged nephew gave me side eye when I texted him to look at the doll.

I wouldn't say embarrassing for me. But when you are a kid, parents don't like you telling them they are doing something wrong.

So back when I was a kid, my mom was clearly speeding down the highway, and I was getting scared because she was darting in and out of traffic. Anyway I told her she was scaring me and she should slow down. Less than a minute later bubble gum lights behind her. She pulls over, the officer walks up to her window and asks "Do you know how fast you were going?" She didn't have a chance before I said, "I told you so."  As the officer walked back to his car I got a backhand to my face.