Me and my girlfriend had our first son 3 months ago and though my girlfriend is not a declared atheist, she isn't religious either, but her family, particularily her father, are religious, catholic to be precise. Anyway, not long after our son was born, along came the thorny but obvious issue of getting our son christened.

Here is the issue, I am totally unsure whether I should take a stand and insist that my son not be christened as I get along very well with my girlfriends father, and though he knows I am an atheist he has never taken issue with me about it, but he has said numerous times that he expects that we will christen our son.

To be honest the rituals involved in christening/communion/confirmation mean nothing to me, and I am leaning towards agreeing to have the child christened just to maintain good relations with my father in law. I am not the slightest bit troubled about taking oaths or being part of the rituals as I know it's just nonsense, but I worry that if I give in and just go along with this for an easy life that it will send the message that I will always just give in whenever they make a demand on what they think we should do when raising our son.

I also live in Ireland, and it is a very catholic country with very few secular schools and I am unsure if we will be able to get a school placement for our son if he isn't christened. It's all weighing a little heavy on my mind lately, I'm not entirely sure what I will end up doing. Do any of you guys have any advice/opinions/suggestions or similar experiences?

My son just got baptized about a week ago. Splashing him with magic water wasn't a big enough deal to me to start the fight it would have turned into. I just made my objections known to my wife and went along with it. I figured I'd save my energy for when he's old enough to understand what's going on.

I'd say the same.

Actually, when I was still with my ex and we discussed the "eventuality" of kids, I swore left and right that we were raising them Jewish if we were raising them anything, because I wasn't about to let his Baptist family get their hands on them. I guess "some" religious would probably have been better than "none" in their eyes. Moot point now, just musing out loud. Kids make everything sticky in so many ways.

Jay1982, if you and your girlfriend don't baptize your son, it is your decision not anybody else.

Your father-in-law needs to understand (diplomatically, of course) who the parents are, and that the parents have the responsibility of deciding what is right for their child. If you and your girlfriend feel the child should be given the opportunity to decide for himself when he is old enough to make that decision, her family should respect your decision.

The child is too young to know or care and though it is not right, sometimes it is easier to just play the game. It is not like the ritual actually means anything or that god will come haunting you or something.

I can only handle SO MUCH atheist delimas in a given time... yet you hand me ANOTHER?!?!111!ELEVENTYONE!!1!

I think I need a hug

Quote:but I worry that if I give in and just go along with this for an easy life that it will send the message that I will always just give in whenever they make a demand on what they think we should do when raising our son.

Bingo. This is not about religion, my friend. It is about power.

Get a couple of atheist godparents. If the child is "christened" in Ireland things will go more smoothly.

Stand your ground with the Parents in Law though...and you may find dear little young-ling coming to you in later years saying that "Catholicism is a fake dad".

I think that will be the time when you know you have raised you child well mate....til then ...go through the motions

my grandparents paid me an obscene amount of money to christen my kids. might make me seem like a greedy bitch, but not really if you heard the whole story which i am too tired to type out. remind me later.