(July 25, 2020 at 7:52 pm)Rev. Rye Wrote: I guess that being Trans must be a bit like being on the autism spectrum, specifically because the spectrum is so broad that it can be kinda hard to get ahold of a single narrative that says: "This is what being trans is like." At least, as long as you really want to figure it out and don't want to latch onto an easy-to-understand narrative to save time and effort, anyway.

I don't feel like it should be that complicated, though.  At least not for me.

13 or 14 years ago, when I started transitioning, I could go to trans support groups or trans groups on Myspace or Reddit and find plenty of people whose experiences I could relate with and who had advice that I found really useful.  Nowadays, trans people like me who just want to transition and get on with our lives, I feel like our voices are being drowned out by a bunch of demi-gender, otherkin, male-presenting trans women and other people with identities so complicated nobody can remember it all.  The people who just want to get on hormones, take care of facial hair, fix our voice and maybe get a surgery or two, the ones who don't want our lives to center around an identity and some kind of struggle and fight centered around that identity, I feel like our community has disappeared or, worse yet, it's being demonized as a bunch of evil "truescum" transmeds.

(July 28, 2020 at 11:20 am)TaraJo Wrote:

(July 25, 2020 at 7:52 pm)Rev. Rye Wrote: I guess that being Trans must be a bit like being on the autism spectrum, specifically because the spectrum is so broad that it can be kinda hard to get ahold of a single narrative that says: "This is what being trans is like." At least, as long as you really want to figure it out and don't want to latch onto an easy-to-understand narrative to save time and effort, anyway.

I don't feel like it should be that complicated, though.  At least not for me.

13 or 14 years ago, when I started transitioning, I could go to trans support groups or trans groups on Myspace or Reddit and find plenty of people whose experiences I could relate with and who had advice that I found really useful.  Nowadays, trans people like me who just want to transition and get on with our lives, I feel like our voices are being drowned out by a bunch of demi-gender, otherkin, male-presenting trans women and other people with identities so complicated nobody can remember it all.  The people who just want to get on hormones, take care of facial hair, fix our voice and maybe get a surgery or two, the ones who don't want our lives to center around an identity and some kind of struggle and fight centered around that identity, I feel like our community has disappeared or, worse yet, it's being demonized as a bunch of evil "truescum" transmeds.

I really do not know how to read your post, but, I find it to be somewhat bigoted, something that would fall from the lips of Donald Trump. But, instead of right-wing, it comes across as the left-wing politically correct ideologs who think that to be transgender is to take hormones, and, ultimately, have surgery.

In short, there is nothing wrong with "male presenting transvwomen", which falls under the guise of "gender nonconforming", which is fully protected under the Law, at least where I live.

(July 28, 2020 at 8:48 pm)Jehanne Wrote: I really do not know how to read your post, but, I find it to be somewhat bigoted, something that would fall from the lips of Donald Trump.  But, instead of right-wing, it comes across as the left-wing politically correct ideologs who think that to be transgender is to take hormones, and, ultimately, have surgery.

In short, there is nothing wrong with "male presenting transvwomen", which falls under the guise of "gender nonconforming", which is fully protected under the Law, at least where I live.

I mean, if people want to be trans in different ways, if they want to identify as demi-gender, space-kin or something like that, they can.  It's no skin off my nose.  But..... I don't want to feel like I'm losing my space, my community, my resources, as we're overwhelmed by people who, honestly, don't have very much in common with us.  

I remember, when I first started transitioning, I went, nervously, to those myspace groups, asking how to start hormones, how to change my voice, where I can get a counselor, how to get my name changed.  Everyone in the groups had their own experiences and spin and feelings on those topics.  Now?  Now it's getting increasingly difficult to find trans spaces that talk about those things.  I've even seen some people that get offended if I dare talk about getting surgery or have facial hair removed (because those desires are based on a cissexist idea of what women should be).  Wanting to pass used to be central to trans spaces, but now...... Now I feel like I'm being hated for attempting to pass.

So, y'know, be whatever outrageous identity you want, but don't take away the trans spaces that have always been extremely useful to trans people like me.

(July 28, 2020 at 9:05 pm)TaraJo Wrote:

(July 28, 2020 at 8:48 pm)Jehanne Wrote: I really do not know how to read your post, but, I find it to be somewhat bigoted, something that would fall from the lips of Donald Trump.  But, instead of right-wing, it comes across as the left-wing politically correct ideologs who think that to be transgender is to take hormones, and, ultimately, have surgery.

In short, there is nothing wrong with "male presenting transvwomen", which falls under the guise of "gender nonconforming", which is fully protected under the Law, at least where I live.

I mean, if people want to be trans in different ways, if they want to identify as demi-gender, space-kin or something like that, they can.  It's no skin off my nose.  But..... I don't want to feel like I'm losing my space, my community, my resources, as we're overwhelmed by people who, honestly, don't have very much in common with us.  

I remember, when I first started transitioning, I went, nervously, to those myspace groups, asking how to start hormones, how to change my voice, where I can get a counselor, how to get my name changed.  Everyone in the groups had their own experiences and spin and feelings on those topics.  Now?  Now it's getting increasingly difficult to find trans spaces that talk about those things.  I've even seen some people that get offended if I dare talk about getting surgery or have facial hair removed (because those desires are based on a cissexist idea of what women should be).  Wanting to pass used to be central to trans spaces, but now...... Now I feel like I'm being hated for attempting to pass.

So, y'know, be whatever outrageous identity you want, but don't take away the trans spaces that have always been extremely useful to trans people like me.

That sounds really frustrating. Like, you're already in a hard position and then someone tells you you're doing trans wrong?! This makes my head spin.

(July 28, 2020 at 9:05 pm)TaraJo Wrote:

(July 28, 2020 at 8:48 pm)Jehanne Wrote: I really do not know how to read your post, but, I find it to be somewhat bigoted, something that would fall from the lips of Donald Trump.  But, instead of right-wing, it comes across as the left-wing politically correct ideologs who think that to be transgender is to take hormones, and, ultimately, have surgery.

In short, there is nothing wrong with "male presenting transvwomen", which falls under the guise of "gender nonconforming", which is fully protected under the Law, at least where I live.

I mean, if people want to be trans in different ways, if they want to identify as demi-gender, space-kin or something like that, they can.  It's no skin off my nose.  But..... I don't want to feel like I'm losing my space, my community, my resources, as we're overwhelmed by people who, honestly, don't have very much in common with us.  

I remember, when I first started transitioning, I went, nervously, to those myspace groups, asking how to start hormones, how to change my voice, where I can get a counselor, how to get my name changed.  Everyone in the groups had their own experiences and spin and feelings on those topics.  Now?  Now it's getting increasingly difficult to find trans spaces that talk about those things.  I've even seen some people that get offended if I dare talk about getting surgery or have facial hair removed (because those desires are based on a cissexist idea of what women should be).  Wanting to pass used to be central to trans spaces, but now...... Now I feel like I'm being hated for attempting to pass.

So, y'know, be whatever outrageous identity you want, but don't take away the trans spaces that have always been extremely useful to trans people like me.

Please be careful with the ostensibly judgmental use of the adjective "outrageous"; some may accuse the kettle of calling the pot black.

Anyone and everyone who is supportive of your goals and wishes is a member of your community. And, in the process of realizing this truism, please do not judge those of us whose path of inner peace is on a different road than that which you have traveled.

(July 28, 2020 at 9:13 pm)Jehanne Wrote: Anyone and everyone who is supportive of your goals and wishes is a member of your community.  And, in the process of realizing this truism, please do not judge those of us whose path of inner peace is on a different road than that which you have traveled.

Not trying to judge anyone.  I'm just looking for others who want to walk the same path as me.  If you don't want to walk that path, that's fine, but don't force yourself into my group or, worse yet, take over my group.

This is kinda how it feels for me:

(July 28, 2020 at 9:24 pm)TaraJo Wrote:

(July 28, 2020 at 9:13 pm)Jehanne Wrote: Anyone and everyone who is supportive of your goals and wishes is a member of your community.  And, in the process of realizing this truism, please do not judge those of us whose path of inner peace is on a different road than that which you have traveled.

Not trying to judge anyone.  I'm just looking for others who want to walk the same path as me.  If you don't want to walk that path, that's fine, but don't force yourself into my group or, worse yet, take over my group.

This is kinda how it feels for me:

This is an atheist message board; I am an atheist. I am also a transgender female; I am not a transsexual female.

(July 28, 2020 at 9:33 pm)Jehanne Wrote:

(July 28, 2020 at 9:24 pm)TaraJo Wrote: Not trying to judge anyone.  I'm just looking for others who want to walk the same path as me.  If you don't want to walk that path, that's fine, but don't force yourself into my group or, worse yet, take over my group.

This is kinda how it feels for me:

This is an atheist message board; I am an atheist.  I am also a transgender female; I am not a transsexual female.

That's kinda the problem.  It's becoming alarmingly unacceptable to identify as a transsexual.  Despite the fact that, yes, that is what I am.

(July 28, 2020 at 10:08 pm)TaraJo Wrote:

(July 28, 2020 at 9:33 pm)Jehanne Wrote: This is an atheist message board; I am an atheist.  I am also a transgender female; I am not a transsexual female.

That's kinda the problem.  It's becoming alarmingly unacceptable to identify as a transsexual.  Despite the fact that, yes, that is what I am.

And, that's just fine!! I am not a transsexual, just transgender. As I said, it's a spectrum, and, you need to be at peace with yourself, which means being at peace with your body, in this, the one and only life that you have to live.

(July 22, 2020 at 1:16 pm)onlinebiker Wrote: Why are transgender people more likely to commit suicide?

Here's one case I remember reading about in some doctor's memoirs, and I really am interested what you think about it, OB

Quote:Early in my practice, an attractive young woman, a recent college graduate who was about to be married in a few weeks, came to see me. She had mentioned to previous physicians in years past her total amenorrhea—lack of a menstrual cycle—but they had chosen not to investigate its possible causes. Finally, almost on the eve of her wedding, her gynecologist referred her for endocrinological evaluation.
[...]
I ordered a test—chromosomal analysis, through a scraping of skin cells from the inside of the cheek—as an appropriate tool to help diagnose the patient’s problem. Perhaps it would have been better had I not done so. The test revealed that our young bride-to-be was, in fact, male.
 
What should we do? After twenty-three years of female life, should we tell her that she was really a man? How would her friends and family feel? How would her fiancé react? Late one afternoon I assembled the physicians involved in the case in my office. We agreed that ethics and legality be damned, we would find some way to keep this tremendous revelation from her. The patient psychologically was a female and should be kept a female.
 
Of course, there would be repercussions from this decision. Obviously, the marriage would be infertile; we didn’t tell her. She would need estrogen supplements, and some anatomical rearrangements—a surgical procedure would create a functioning vagina. But how could we explain the surgery and still keep the secret?
[...]
Ultimately, we were forced to tell the young lady the truth about herself. Three days later, I assisted in detoxifying her from a drug overdose requiring hospitalization and a good deal of prayer.
 
The marriage was postponed and the surgery was performed. After a few months, the couple broke their engagement and severed their relationship. Some twenty years later, I heard that my patient had died in an automobile accident on her way to a health food festival. She never married, and I know nothing about her relationships with men or women, but I suspect that they were difficult to sustain.