Most of the time I can work through things...with the help of meds.  After getting through cancer starting in 2009, I worked through all sorts of lingering pain and other issues and was finally feeling like things might get back to something near normal.  In 2017 I had a heart attack and that sent me all the way back and then some.  Since then I have dealt with a vast array of illnesses and other issues...many that sap my energy.  Anemia seems to be recurring for me when I have a big health issue and I have to fight my way back.  

I am lucky in that three years ago I found a part time job working from home.  I can work around my health if I have to though I make every effort to start each day at the same time since others are depending on me.

Oddly, COVID led me back to an old hobby when people started needing masks.  I hadn't sewn in years as it was a pain after a full workday and long commutes to drag everything out to work on a project.  Now my home office is also my sewing room and I make quilts when I feel like working on them.  I listen to audiobooks while I do that.  That helps.  I had forgotten how much I enjoyed sewing and being creative.

But then there are days....



I have learned to remember that tomorrow may be better.  If not tomorrow, then maybe the next day.

For the most part I try not to dwell but sometimes I need to take a break, when I break.

I struggle with anxiety issues and related mental exhaustion. It's not extremely horrible but I have no way of knowing how bad it is compared to depression.

The thing with depression, like with any mental illness, is all in the head so to speak. Doesn't make it less real or debilitating of course.

There are different forms/levels of depression. While I had a moment or two in my life when I went through some deep depression, I don't think I've ever had major depressive disorder or anything of that level, but I'm very well aware that it can be intensely unpleasant to go through.

(October 3, 2023 at 6:42 am)GrandizerII Wrote: The thing with depression, like with any mental illness, is all in the head so to speak. Doesn't make it less real or debilitating of course.

There are different forms/levels of depression. While I had a moment or two in my life when I went through some deep depression, I don't think I've ever had major depressive disorder or anything of that level, but I'm very well aware that it can be intensely unpleasant to go through.

That’s pretty much my case. Like everyone, I’ve had the occasional depressive episode, but nothing that required treatment or medication. In that, I consider myself extraordinarily fortunate - I know and have known people in a years-long fight against clinical, serious depression. It’s horrific.

Boru

(October 2, 2023 at 7:58 pm)brewer Wrote:

(October 2, 2023 at 7:49 pm)MR. Macabre 666 Wrote: I completely agree, I'm sure that why my doctor said he was worried about my mental health. I had planned on working until I was 70, which is when I could receive 100% of my benefits, and then retire.
Our house would have been payed off by then. I worked a very physical job my entire working life, and figured I could continue to do it to earn a living, but I was wrong. My body started wearing out in 2010, and by 2011, I had to have surgery on both knees.

I only made it to the age of 56 before I couldn't do my job anymore, and had to go on permanent disability. I'm only getting about half of what I made when I was still working, which has really affected our income, and always will.
It fucking sucks.

It sounds like you could quality for SSDI. Have you tried? Is there something I'm missing, I'm not up on SSDI regulations.

I've been receiving disability payments from social security since the end of 2016.

(October 2, 2023 at 8:11 pm)arewethereyet Wrote: Most of the time I can work through things...with the help of meds.  After getting through cancer starting in 2009, I worked through all sorts of lingering pain and other issues and was finally feeling like things might get back to something near normal.  In 2017 I had a heart attack and that sent me all the way back and then some.  Since then I have dealt with a vast array of illnesses and other issues...many that sap my energy.  Anemia seems to be recurring for me when I have a big health issue and I have to fight my way back.  

I am lucky in that three years ago I found a part time job working from home.  I can work around my health if I have to though I make every effort to start each day at the same time since others are depending on me.

Oddly, COVID led me back to an old hobby when people started needing masks.  I hadn't sewn in years as it was a pain after a full workday and long commutes to drag everything out to work on a project.  Now my home office is also my sewing room and I make quilts when I feel like working on them.  I listen to audiobooks while I do that.  That helps.  I had forgotten how much I enjoyed sewing and being creative.

But then there are days....



I have learned to remember that tomorrow may be better.  If not tomorrow, then maybe the next day.

For the most part I try not to dwell but sometimes I need to take a break, when I break.

I'm very sorry that you've had to endure all of that shit, it fucking sucks. Going to the gym and listening to music, really heavy, dark stuff helps me deal with my situation. I'm glad that you've found something that helps.

(October 3, 2023 at 6:42 am)GrandizerII Wrote: The thing with depression, like with any mental illness, is all in the head so to speak. Doesn't make it less real or debilitating of course.

There are different forms/levels of depression. While I had a moment or two in my life when I went through some deep depression, I don't think I've ever had major depressive disorder or anything of that level, but I'm very well aware that it can be intensely unpleasant to go through.

When the only thing you want is for the pain to stop, sometimes it gets really, really bad. And you only see one way out. Once you have those thoughts in your head, it's very hard to make them go away completely.

(October 3, 2023 at 7:26 pm)MR. Macabre 666 Wrote:

(October 2, 2023 at 7:58 pm)brewer Wrote: It sounds like you could quality for SSDI. Have you tried? Is there something I'm missing, I'm not up on SSDI regulations.

I've been receiving disability payments from social security since the end of 2016.

My mistake, I thought you got LTD through work.