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Vote for the new pope
April 22, 2025 at 2:41 pm
(This post was last modified: April 22, 2025 at 2:44 pm by Nay_Sayer.)
1. Cardinal Cod
Pros: Endorsed by Boru, All about that bass
Cons: Seems Fishy
2. Cardinal Köfte
![[Image: FhT7ZXrH.png]](https://thumbsnap.com/i/FhT7ZXrH.png)
Pros: Man of the people, Rescues shelter dogs.
Cons: Strong Pastafarian leanings
3. Cardinal Cardinal
![[Image: LZzUUj8X.jpg]](https://thumbsnap.com/i/LZzUUj8X.jpg)
Pros: Early riser, Makes nice music
Cons: Focused mainly on worms and nesting
4. C̶̙̲̗̞̙̫̫͍̥̭͍̞̺̠̋̌̔͛̓͋͛̐̽͜͠ͅŢ̷̣̣̘͍̹̘̹͎̠̻͕̹̔̇̉͛̇̀́̽͆͜ͅH̴̨̺͓̼̘̭͈͇͉̙̳̭͒͋̋̾̿̈́̒ͅŰ̸͇͎̯̠ͅL̶̯͚̓̅̊̎̉́̾̍̕͠͝Ȟ̴̨̢̨̥̲͓͙̟̥̬̟̼͚̫̯͑̅͒̃͂̓̚̕ͅU̸̩̜͇̬̪̓́̿́̒̄̓͒̂́̽̿̀̎̂ͅ
![[Image: cthulhu-1.jpg]](https://mediaproxy.snopes.com/width/1200/https://media.snopes.com/2015/05/cthulhu-1.jpg)
Pros: Unbiased, Uncoruptable
Cons: Incomprehensible form
5: Other (Please state)
Choose wisely
"For the only way to eternal glory is a life lived in service of our Lord, FSM; Verily it is FSM who is the perfect being the name higher than all names, king of all kings and will bestow upon us all, one day, The great reclaiming" -The Prophet Boiardi-
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RE: Vote for the new pope
April 22, 2025 at 3:59 pm
It's time for the world to be without yet another power hungry asshole who thinks the world would fall apart without him.
teachings of the Bible are so muddled and self-contradictory that it was possible for Christians to happily burn heretics alive for five long centuries. It was even possible for the most venerated patriarchs of the Church, like St. Augustine and St. Thomas Aquinas, to conclude that heretics should be tortured (Augustine) or killed outright (Aquinas). Martin Luther and John Calvin advocated the wholesale murder of heretics, apostates, Jews, and witches. - Sam Harris, "Letter To A Christian Nation"
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RE: Vote for the new pope
April 22, 2025 at 4:04 pm
(April 22, 2025 at 3:59 pm)Fake Messiah Wrote: It's time for the world to be without yet another power hungry asshole who thinks the world would fall apart without him.
Yes, it's time for a power hungry bitch who want the world to stop falling apart by eliminating humanity.
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RE: Vote for the new pope
April 22, 2025 at 4:20 pm
4. C̶̙̲̗̞̙̫̫͍̥̭͍̞̺̠̋̌̔͛̓͋͛̐̽͜͠ͅŢ̷̣̣̘͍̹̘̹͎̠̻͕̹̔̇̉͛̇̀́̽͆͜ͅH̴̨̺͓̼̘̭͈͇͉̙̳̭͒͋̋̾̿̈́̒ͅŰ̸͇͎̯̠ͅL̶̯͚̓̅̊̎̉́̾̍̕͠͝Ȟ̴̨̢̨̥̲͓͙̟̥̬̟̼͚̫̯͑̅͒̃͂̓̚̕ͅU̸̩̜͇̬̪̓́̿́̒̄̓͒̂́̽̿̀̎̂ͅ
"Change was inevitable"
Nemo sicut deus debet esse!
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RE: Vote for the new pope
April 22, 2025 at 8:11 pm
Whoever they elect will be Pope Irrelevant CCLXVII.
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RE: Vote for the new pope
April 22, 2025 at 8:40 pm
Which one is secretly intersex?
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RE: Vote for the new pope
April 23, 2025 at 10:53 am
Cthulhu has children but I'm not sure it required sex do do so, so unclear on the intersex thing.
I'm not anti-Christian. I'm anti-stupid.
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RE: Vote for the new pope
April 23, 2025 at 4:34 pm
This one doesn't look so bad.
teachings of the Bible are so muddled and self-contradictory that it was possible for Christians to happily burn heretics alive for five long centuries. It was even possible for the most venerated patriarchs of the Church, like St. Augustine and St. Thomas Aquinas, to conclude that heretics should be tortured (Augustine) or killed outright (Aquinas). Martin Luther and John Calvin advocated the wholesale murder of heretics, apostates, Jews, and witches. - Sam Harris, "Letter To A Christian Nation"
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RE: Vote for the new pope
April 24, 2025 at 12:05 am
(April 22, 2025 at 8:40 pm)Rev. Rye Wrote: Which one is secretly intersex?
Yes.
"For the only way to eternal glory is a life lived in service of our Lord, FSM; Verily it is FSM who is the perfect being the name higher than all names, king of all kings and will bestow upon us all, one day, The great reclaiming" -The Prophet Boiardi-
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RE: Vote for the new pope
April 24, 2025 at 12:46 am
(This post was last modified: April 24, 2025 at 12:47 am by TheWhiteMarten.)
Cardinal Sarah, at least at a cultural level, would be a good pick - don't know enough about his theology to make a decision there.
The first sub-Saharan pope would be a strong move - as the church increasingly shifts to Africa and the Middle East/China and declines in the West, signaling a will to move in that direction would be a potentially massive PR tool in expanding the faith in oppressed communities; additionally Sarah has been on the frontlines of dealing with groups like ISIS-DRC and is well aware of the threats they pose.
I guess I won't hold my breath, but would love to see him advocate for the reestablishment of military orders to protect Christians both in the Islamic/atheist world and in the West as well.
At the end of the day, who has the slightest clue what the politics of the Vatican will leave us with.
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