The European Commission has just announced an agreement whereby English will be the official language of the EU rather than German which was the other possibility.

As part of the negotiations, Her Majesty's Government conceded that English spelling had some room for improvement and has accepted a five year phase-in plan that would be known as "Euro-English".

In the first year, "s" will replace the soft "c". Sertainly, this will make the sivil servants jump with joy. The hard "c" will be dropped in favour of the "k". This should klear up konfusion and keyboards kan have 1 less letter.

There will be growing publik enthusiasm in the sekond year, when the troublesome "ph" will be replaced with "f". This will make words like "fotograf" 20% shorter.

In the 3rd year, publik akseptanse of the new spelling kan be ekspekted to reach the stage where more komplikated changes are possible. Governments will enkorage the removal of double letters, which have always ben a deterent to akurate speling. Also, al wil agre that the horible mes of the silent "e"s in the language is disgraseful, and they should go away.

By the fourth year, peopl wil be reseptiv to steps such as replasing "th" with "z" and "w" with "v". During ze fifz year, ze unesesary "o" kan be dropd from vords kontaining "ou" and similar changes vud of kors be aplid to ozer kombinations of leters.

After zis fifz yer, ve vil hav a reli sensibl riten styl. Zer vil be no mor trubl or difikultis and evrivun vil find it ezi to understand ech ozer. Ze drem vil finali kum tru! And zen world!

from our colleagues of http://www.rationalia.com

LMAO Chaos...utter madness and chaos

Words are man made not government made. What are they going to do if I mis use the words send me to GETMO until the finaly close that down?

Love it! Laughed so hard when reading it!

By the way, do "our colleagues" realise they are using an Ubuntu (linux) theme for their forum? Just seems a bit odd.

(August 19, 2009 at 7:44 am)Tiberius Wrote: Love it! Laughed so hard when reading it!

By the way, do "our colleagues" realise they are using an Ubuntu (linux) theme for their forum? Just seems a bit odd.

Yes they know, but you can use prosilver or subsilver too if you want.

LMFAO!!! It just got funnier and near the end......LMAO!!!!

EvF

Das god!

But ve lov ze Germans!!!

America invented it's own form of spelling just to be bloody minded,as the Brits had REALLY pissed them off. They did the same with table manners,which the rest of the world finds hilarious,along the fact that millions of Americans call the main course the 'entree'. This is all perfectly OK; it's by consensus,more or less,as living languages tend to be.

In George Orwell's "1984" the government invented "Newspeak" which made it impossible to express abstract ideas.They also coined the word "doubelthink",meaning the ability to simultaneously hold two opposing ideas. An ancient practice amongst politicians and theists.


Pigeon English was taught to locals in Papua/New Guinea AS POLICY. Officially because natives were considered too primitive to learn full English (they were still eating each other) More cynically,as a form of control,as Pigeon limits the ideas which can be expressed.

Language is a a powerful medium of social control.That is one reason conquerors have often suppressed the local language.

In my opinion,any attempts by a government to formally control language in any way should be opposed. A cynic might observe the exercise is a wast of time anyway:Cell phone texting and twitter are already producing generation of illiterates.

Are most of the people that use this forum European? What is wrong with American table manners? I don't get this one. I don't put elbows on the table or eat with my mouth full. Do you think we all burp and fart at the table or what? What's wrong with our language? We aren't going to have the same language or spelling as Europeans. We are a different country!!!!