(May 12, 2012 at 9:12 am)Epimethean Wrote: Masturbate every day. This will take the edge off and keep your eyes from gleaming too ferally.

yes and use your options ...

(May 11, 2012 at 7:43 pm)Minimalist Wrote: Sometimes....in the long run....it is cheaper to rent than to buy.

There is always the rent to buy option.

Quote:What's wrong with having girls as friends? I have quite a few girls who are very good friends of mine. We never do anything sexual nor speak of anything of sex or getting into some sort of relationship. Just regular friends. Like male friends really.

Nothing. But with girls whom I would like to go out with, or have a certain emotional attachment, I rather have no friendly relations.
If I want a girl as a regular friend, I generally write them on my list as such.
Those with whom I want a relationship, as such.

Quote:Total nonsense. I was friends with Katie for months, after all that time, feelings were developing and we ended up kissing in the end. Never intended to go that far but did because we felt the feelings and it felt right.

Maybe for your case. I already said I speak of personal experience.
Besides, you don't have to kiss to know that you are gf and bf.
If you see eachother each day after some time, the girl herself will ask to you "now what are we" in like, are we just friends or together.
This of course is a matter of chance, you have to invest time into it, but it does not take up months to understand that you're dating eachother. In my cases, it took up a few weeks at most, really. I generally give up on the issue after the first one and a half weeks, if not, I keep on.
Kissing and stuff is something that happens either late or early, depending on how open the girl is about these things.
For sex, I don't know, after getting the girls permission, I have to give myself permission. I generally ask the girl if she's virgin or not. If she's a virgin, it means that it won't happen. I do not want to be the person to have taken someone's virginity. That girl will marry some day, and maybe regret having sex before marriage, and will curse my name for taking advantage of her and deflowering her.
But if she's already a non-virgin, then I am unburdened of this responsibility.

Quote:Love is a risky game and you can get a little hurt if the other lacks the feelings you have, but that's love for you. If I like someone, I would always go for friendship first. Allows time for each other to learn and understand each other. With mutual respect you should have no trouble coming to some kind of agreement whatever that agreement is.

I cannot bear the responsibility of being denounced in public, and therefore I generally do not put too much pressure on anyone, as people can really get very agitated. I understood this after giving my place to a girl in the bus, she became angry and asked me who I was and why I gave her my place if I wanted to hit on her or something. I didn't know her, true, but I just wanted to be polite.
Obviously being polite is a crime these days. I'm happy to commit that crime every day.

Quote:I am patient, however if the other did not show any interest I would let it go before any strong feelings develop. Save yourself the pain sort of thing.

I never experienced that pain, as I let go very easily.

KM, you do not have interest in the emotions of women. This has been made very clear elsewhere. It is perhaps a cultural thing, but to you, women are less human, less complete, less capable. You do not yet seem to have the ability to care in a complete way for a woman, but again, perhaps Turkish women prefer distant, uncaring men who despise them.

How to not be desperate for a gf?
Try wasting four years of your life with someone who does nothing but break down your self-esteem, has not a romantic notion in her head and the only reason you stay with her is because you're too terrified of being alone... then grow a pair and tell her to fuck off.
That will definitely kill your sex drive. Seriously, I'm at the point I'd rather sit down with a series or two of south park, a special smoke and some takeaway pizza than pursue a love life. Not because the notion of love isn't appealing to me but because I know that 99.99% of the time thats not what a relationship leads to. If you're really unlucky you end up in a relationship like the one I was in and let me tell you, no amount of sex makes up for it. Seriously.
Thats not to say you shouldn't want it and if it happens it happens but if it doesn't then so what? You got better things to do that you know for sure will make you happy anyway. I mean shit, its proven you can simulate the sensation of love by eating large quantities of choclate. Thats not to say you should go do that but that kind of proves just how *special* it is.
You're young, you're your own person and you're free. Focus on enjoying that while you can, you might find someone you click with while you're at it.

Raphiel, chocolate overload won't make you cum, but a hand can. The endorphin/oxytocin release is pretty minor with chocolate, and a healthy sex life is far more beneficial for your overall well-being. How long have you been out of that bad relationship?

(May 12, 2012 at 11:05 am)Epimethean Wrote: Raphiel, chocolate overload won't make you cum, but a hand can. The endorphin/oxytocin release is pretty minor with chocolate, and a healthy sex life is far more beneficial for your overall well-being. How long have you been out of that bad relationship?

Well sir, you obviously have not used cadburys choco-lube.
About a year and a half now and I'm ok with it.

(May 12, 2012 at 11:01 am)Epimethean Wrote: KM, you do not have interest in the emotions of women.

I only care for the emotions of a woman if that woman cares about my emotions.
I believe in complete equality in relationships.

Quote:It is perhaps a cultural thing, but to you, women are less human, less complete, less capable.

I don't know how you were able to extract this from my posts, but I view women as my equals. Doing the opposite would be to contradict my own ideology.

Quote: You do not yet seem to have the ability to care in a complete way for a woman

I care about a woman as a person, not as a "woman" if I want to care about her in a friendly or sisterly way.
I have not taken this matter up in that context. In that context, I do not differentiate between sexes, other than my form of conduct around them, like not swearing, doing inappropriate things or being a bit more polite.
For women I want as girlfriend, I look at her as a "woman", not as simply another person. I form my views under that context on what she could want or not.
I hope I'm clear, but I really don't have to answer your baseless accusations, I want you to know that.

Quote:perhaps Turkish women prefer distant, uncaring men who despise them.

Well, again, without experiencing the same amount of care and closeness, I do not waste my time and effort on people who are short on these two when it comes to relationships.
I don't think what can be more rational. To show care and interest in a particular woman while receiving nothing back, and doing this for some time, only to see that woman with someone else in the end is something I do not want to experience, as I've seen people going down that road, and they were really, really pathetic. I pitied them, and told them to cut off relations.
I show care and interest to a woman if I want her as my woman, and I do so sparingly at the start. This prevents certain misunderstandings.

I really do understand people like you, friend.
You want to be seen as caring and understanding before the gals, perhaps. I don't know what is in your inner world, how you curse after a girl who has not returned your attentions, or how many times you have called your ex-gf a whore, a slut or whatever.
I felt no such need, because I know certain traits in people when I see them. If I'm let down, I am never surprised. Similarly, I do not like to surprise others. I have only promised one thing. I am fair towards people. I treat them as they treat me. There are many cases I treat them as I'd like to be treated, but I think that these are cases in which there is a certain trust between me and that individual.
In some rare cases as with the bus case, I've been treated in a way I don't approve of, but I can't help to be polite. Understanding? Well, that is a word that I generally don't like to use. It's impossible to understand a person, and everyone has a mask on these days. I won't lie, so do I.
Caring? If people tell me their personal problems, I can only listen. That is the best I can do. Sometimes I try to present a solution, but I know that they won't follow it, and therefore, I do not bother with it.

And these supposedly show you that I hate women, don't they?

Quote:Nothing. But with girls whom I would like to go out with, or have a certain emotional attachment, I rather have no friendly relations.
If I want a girl as a regular friend, I generally write them on my list as such.

We'll, we have our methods. I prefer to take things slowly if I am to progress with her emotionally, even if it means starting out as good friends. It works very well. You have to think about her feelings and try not to put her in a difficult situation. I know what it's like having someone chasing after you and you don't have any feelings for her but can't tell her that because it could hurt her considerably. Tough situation. So I try to maintain some distance and allowing her the room to move and think. If she shows simple little hints for one way or the other, I'll take the hint with a smile.

Quote:Maybe for your case. I already said I speak of personal experience.
Besides, you don't have to kiss to know that you are gf and bf.
If you see eachother each day after some time, the girl herself will ask to you "now what are we" in like, are we just friends or together.

Of course we don't have to kiss in order to know that we're going that little bit further. We just....do it. From my personal experience, I've found that time and care brings the best results. Like in anything, the more time and effort the better the outcome. That's just how I see it. Women are not weak, they're quite strong and resilient but at the same time, have gentle hearts (not all but most ). When respected and given lots of care, you tend to get a lot back.

Quote:I do not want to be the person to have taken someone's virginity. That girl will marry some day, and maybe regret having sex before marriage, and will curse my name for taking advantage of her and deflowering her.
But if she's already a non-virgin, then I am unburdened of this responsibility.

I don't care if she's a virgin or not, I'll welcome her emotionally and sexually. Also I'm not into marriage or reproduction, so unless she feels the same we should get on perfectly well.

Quote:I understood this after giving my place to a girl in the bus, she became angry and asked me who I was and why I gave her my place if I wanted to hit on her or something. I didn't know her, true, but I just wanted to be polite.
Obviously being polite is a crime these days. I'm happy to commit that crime every day.

She is obviously a rude, thoughtless bitch and was obviously raised without any manners. I won't lie, some women can be bloody terrible. But then again the same can be said for some men as well. They're just normal arseholes that populate the world.

Quote:I never experienced that pain, as I let go very easily.

I have, and I can tell you, it's not nice. I was deeply in love with someone, and she felt the same for me too but just with in a few months of being out of contact with each other, she ends up in someone else's bed and pops out another man's child. We spent over 5 bloody years flirting and sending each other signals and she went and done that. Still haven't forgiven her for it, even though I said I had. Some people live to hurt and disappoint others. Apparently, she's fooled a few men and has built up a rather nasty reputation for herself as a result. Last I heard, her life is going down hill. She's smoking, drinking and taking drugs like never before. It's like she's on self destruct mode.

Here's the thing, women do give good advice. Men simply refuse to admit that all women aren't shallow, money-grubbers. "Be yourself" is not bad advice. Again, it beats not being yourself and having to fake it for a long time, should the relationship last. Sure, there are some women who won't like you the way you are, are interested in money, like things more than people, but it really depends on what you want. If you want a relationship where it is as easy as just giving her money and presents, go ahead and go with that. If you want something deeper, date someone who likes you just as you are. Take it or leave it, but it sure beats the "women lie about what they want and only want successful, rich men" line.