that's funny, I'm a Jew, and I always thought Jesus just wanted money for his false claims that he could forgive people at any time because of his special connection to God. Remember Jesus was a Jew, so before his little scam he was being forgiven by god only once a year. Now you tell all your secrets to insane little virgins who, well, they aren't going to tell the wife! Ha ha ha.

Are you insinuating that forgiveness isn't a human trait? Are you saying you need to be taught this?

This is a ridiculous post. Jesus has made people go insane and think that forgiveness is an important thing. If you can't forgive someone, remember, that person is in BIG TROUBLE.

lol :p

I do think forgiveness is a human trait, but it's not all the time I'm faced with a situation of having a struggle to forgive someone. If that makes sense. I had a situation that really challenged me in terms of if I forgive this person, does that mean I'm accepting his behavior? Sometimes, it's good to just ask around to see how others handle things, especially since my spiritual perspective has changed. Thanks for the comment, Dunno.

I think.

When I have sought forgiveness for doing wrong at a job and still been terminated for it, it makes my whole view of humanity very negative. I hope my boss who fired me does not receive forgiveness at a crucial time when he needs it.

(October 18, 2013 at 6:20 am)hobie Wrote: When I have sought forgiveness for doing wrong at a job and still been terminated for it, it makes my whole view of humanity very negative. I hope my boss who fired me does not receive forgiveness at a crucial time when he needs it.

I'm sorry you got fired, but it's the human condition to not get forgiveness every time we want it. I guarantee that this will happen to your boss at some point in his life. I also guarantee it will happen to you again, and to me, and to everyone else here.

(October 18, 2013 at 6:20 am)hobie Wrote: When I have sought forgiveness for doing wrong at a job and still been terminated for it, it makes my whole view of humanity very negative. I hope my boss who fired me does not receive forgiveness at a crucial time when he needs it.

I'm sorry. I know that hurts sometimes. But, forgiveness doesn't mean that trust hasn't been broken. I have ended relationships with guys who have asked for forgiveness for their wrong doings, and I have forgiven them, but the trust was gone. Someone can still not trust another person, even if they choose to forgive that person. So, that could be what happened with your boss. He lost trust in you, and while he might have accepted your apology, he couldn't trust you after that. Not to say you are not trustworthy, I'm not suggesting that. But, there are probably times you have forgiven someone n your life, but that person is still out of your life, because you no longer could trust him or her. Everyone is different, of course.

When somebody hurts me I resent it. I get defensive. I might think I will never take them back. Sometimes it would probably be best I didn't take them back... for my own health. Turns out that all they have to do is say they are sorry and then bam! Ivy loves ya.

I'm trying to learn not to do that.

I mostly try to be reasonable. For example, my parents made many mistakes with us, but their intentions were good. They thought that raising us in church was best. I am thankful that they did what they felt was best. That means they love me. It's like when my son made me a craft flower using some pieces of paper that happened to be important. He meant well. I forgive him, and I'm thankful.

When we're hurt, our minds don't do a good job of thinking. It's more interested in fixing that hurt, even if some truth gets bent in the process. Relying on the conclusions of a mind under the influence of hurt can be tricky business. We're not built to think so much as to feel, and when we feel strongly, the thinking part gets really twisted under the influence of that need.

(October 18, 2013 at 11:02 am)Ivy Wrote: When somebody hurts me I resent it. I get defensive. I might think I will never take them back. Sometimes it would probably be best I didn't take them back... for my own health. Turns out that all they have to do is say they are sorry and then bam! Ivy loves ya.

I'm trying to learn not to do that.

Yes, there are some bridges that are worth torching. lol

(October 5, 2013 at 11:12 pm)Deidre32 Wrote: A few years ago, I gradually started departing from my Christian beliefs. I never really chose a position though, so to speak. Now, I consider myself atheist agnostic. My question is, for those here who are atheists or atheist agnostic, how do you deal with the issue of forgiveness? Christianity teaches to always be forgiving people who hurt you. To a fault. I accepted so many people into my life who hurt me over and over, and I look back and they didn't deserve my forgiveness or friendship. Now that I don't follow any religion, I don't know how to really view the act of forgiveness anymore? I believe that it is necessary for our own growth and to release ourselves from harboring resentment. But beyond that, does everyone deserve our forgiveness?

Just wondering how some of you view forgiveness?

At the time I was a believer in high school, I had a friend whenever I complained about something going on in the world he would sarcastically say "Kill everyone and plant trees". The first time he said that I had a WTF, because I wasn't sure he was joking, then he said "When you don't get what you want, violence is the only solution".

Forgiveness should never be black or white but it should always be up to the person who was transgressed.

(October 6, 2013 at 12:17 am)apophenia Wrote: Just spitballing here. I would suggest there is an aspect of forgiveness which derives from compassion; we forgive even those not fully deserving, because we recognize and acknowledge both their and our limits as human beings. Again, just unwinding a thread, if forgiveness is a sort of 'sewing closed' the rips in the fabric of our lives, we recognize that the fabric will never be the same as it was before, and that the new threads which seal the hole are from us. But it is better than living with the holes.

Beautifully said, though I would add that not every hole can be mended and each person has a limit to their compassion. Just recognizing the rips and acknowledging their true origin is enough to live with them.