I'm the first to admit that I readily cut people out of my life, but only for major transgressions. Like, when my best friend of eighteen years, aware of my suicidal tendencies and during a particularly awful bout, brought me a kitchen knife and told me she was praying that I'd kill myself. Or, the friend who had owed me $400 for about a year and told a mutual friend she had no plans to pay me back because she figured I had forgotten about it. Both of those examples show a severe lack of respect, so I have no need to have those people around anymore.

I have forgiven both of those people, but that doesn't mean I have to let them back in.

(October 18, 2013 at 11:02 am)Ivy Wrote: Turns out that all they have to do is say they are sorry and then bam! Ivy loves ya.

Sorry, Ivy!

(Eh, worth a shot.)

It didn' t work.

But the rep you gave me did! awwwww come here, you! Hugs*

Forgiveness to me has always been the act of letting go of my own emotions towards another's actions. I learn the lesson, if there is one to be learned, and accept those past actions for what they were and move on with my life.

Now, if someone has continually detracted from my life and shows no signs of regret or a change in their actions then I cut them from my life. I don't hate them because holding hatred hurts me, not the other person.

I really like what you're saying, Aral. And I agree -- If someone continues to bring me down, hurt me, break my trust, etc...then I feel such behavior is deliberate and the person is abusing the friendship or relationship. I had to sever ties with someone recently as his "sorry" just didn't mean anything. It was just something he uttered to get me trusting him again.

Life's hard sometimes.

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(October 18, 2013 at 4:42 pm)rexbeccarox Wrote: I'm the first to admit that I readily cut people out of my life, but only for major transgressions. Like, when my best friend of eighteen years, aware of my suicidal tendencies and during a particularly awful bout, brought me a kitchen knife and told me she was praying that I'd kill myself. Or, the friend who had owed me $400 for about a year and told a mutual friend she had no plans to pay me back because she figured I had forgotten about it. Both of those examples show a severe lack of respect, so I have no need to have those people around anymore.

I have forgiven both of those people, but that doesn't mean I have to let them back in.

Yeah, um no I would not be letting these people back in. I'm sorry they hurt you. It just sucks in the worst of ways. I think the hardest thing for me to forgive but I have (it has just taken time) is when someone has humiliated me. By that I mean, lied to me and everyone knows it and then I somehow find out. Ughhh, that's a toughie for me.

But forgiveness is about letting go, healing and moving on FOR US. Doesn't mean we invite toxic people back into our lives to rent space.

Another thing that makes me very negative is dealing with police and judges. Rarely has a cop let me off without a warning or a judge dismissing a ticket. When someone wrongs me, I will give them multiple chances, but from police and judges I get nothing. Sometimes I look a judges in their black robes and think what makes them better than me or what right do they have to sentence me to jail or determine my punishment.

WTF hobie! What have you been getting yourself into?

(October 19, 2013 at 12:10 am)hobie Wrote: Another thing that makes me very negative is dealing with police and judges. Rarely has a cop let me off without a warning or a judge dismissing a ticket. When someone wrongs me, I will give them multiple chances, but from police and judges I get nothing. Sometimes I look a judges in their black robes and think what makes them better than me or what right do they have to sentence me to jail or determine my punishment.

That's because they are following set rules that are laid down and have to be adhered to.

You know, the law.

(October 19, 2013 at 12:10 am)hobie Wrote: Another thing that makes me very negative is dealing with police and judges. Rarely has a cop let me off without a warning or a judge dismissing a ticket. When someone wrongs me, I will give them multiple chances, but from police and judges I get nothing. Sometimes I look a judges in their black robes and think what makes them better than me or what right do they have to sentence me to jail or determine my punishment.

Well, clearly, what makes them better than you is that they don't go around breaking laws like you do. And you gave them the right to judge you when you chose to continue living in the society.

I can imagine Hobie sitting in his car, telling the incredulous traffic cop that "I'm willing to forgive you if you drive away now."