Since I became an agnostic, I've felt a huge hole in my life occur. When I came out about it to my parents my dad didn't care but my mom is depressed now. I feel like this is all my fault and that I've failed my parents. I also feel like I have no one to go to to talk about my problems... Most of my friends are agnostic or atheists, but I always grew up with that supernatural prayer thing that kept me sane for awhile. I realized that it's highly unlikely for a God to exist and all that stuff... But what should I do to ease the stress?

Do you truly not believe in God? If you still have something in you that makes you want to believe...then believe. Go for it.

If you, like a lot of people here, may or may not want to believe, but just can't because religion makes no sense for you anymore, I suggest community service. Being active in your community has always filled the void for me if I ever felt upset. I never experienced post-religious depression like some people have reported, but I imagine it would have helped me then as well.

Mainly, focus on the life you're living in. If you now have a disbelief in gods, you may find yourself feeling alone in the world. Take it as a chance to take the time to sort everything in your life out, and take a few steps in a good direction. Focus less on the afterlife without religious belief and more on the physical world you're currently a part of.

Hope I could help.

P.S.: I also suggest drinking a couple of caucasians.

Why do you need a supernatural belief to keep you sane, are you going through a rough patch? When things go downhill, I try my best and have the mindset that things will turn out better if I keep going. It gets really hard if I have a set back that makes me doubt myself and feel helpless but I keep busy and shake it off because I don't function well when I think that way. I think the key is distraction, distract yourself with music, books, chores, things to do, learn new stuff, better yourself, just keep doing something and you will think less about your predicament and after a while things don't seem that bad anymore.

(November 18, 2013 at 6:39 pm)Ring0 Wrote: Since I became an agnostic, I've felt a huge hole in my life occur. When I came out about it to my parents my dad didn't care but my mom is depressed now. I feel like this is all my fault and that I've failed my parents. I also feel like I have no one to go to to talk about my problems... Most of my friends are agnostic or atheists, but I always grew up with that supernatural prayer thing that kept me sane for awhile. I realized that it's highly unlikely for a God to exist and all that stuff... But what should I do to ease the stress?

Can you be more specific about what this "hole in your life" is like? Is it missing God? Missing the bond with your family? I know it's a private thing, but I am very interested in knowing what it feels like if you'd care to share.

Do you force yourself to believe in Santa at xmas time? Because it is pretty much the same silly thing. Naughty or nice lists are great for children but adults need a somewhat higher standard.

I was very depressed for weeks following my deconversion from Christianity. My professional education has taught me that depression is a common occurrence following the dismissal of one's religious beliefs, though I was blinded to this truth by the very depression I suffered. I'm now happier than I've ever been, and I believe I owe it all to ditching my faith. I cannot say for certain how the tide finally turned for me, but I suspect it has to do with distancing myself from the judgment of those I left behind, while finding room to investigate my former beliefs. I suspect your depression may be related more to your ongoing association with certain theists, than it has to do with questioning your beliefs.

It's not your fault your mother is depressed. That's her shit. You have no responsibility for how she feels about anything. She does. You just have to worry about your shit. If there is a hole in your life, fill it by doing something meaningful, like helping others, or creating something. Also be sure to get exercise regularly, this will increase the feel-good chemicals in your brain.

(November 18, 2013 at 6:51 pm)Zazzy Wrote:

(November 18, 2013 at 6:39 pm)Ring0 Wrote: Since I became an agnostic, I've felt a huge hole in my life occur. When I came out about it to my parents my dad didn't care but my mom is depressed now. I feel like this is all my fault and that I've failed my parents. I also feel like I have no one to go to to talk about my problems... Most of my friends are agnostic or atheists, but I always grew up with that supernatural prayer thing that kept me sane for awhile. I realized that it's highly unlikely for a God to exist and all that stuff... But what should I do to ease the stress?

Can you be more specific about what this "hole in your life" is like? Is it missing God? Missing the bond with your family? I know it's a private thing, but I am very interested in knowing what it feels like if you'd care to share.

Well... I used to use prayer to help me deal with my paranoia. I have extreme paranoia of my friends/family leaving me. This paranoia wasn't caused by anything bad in my childhood, it was just there. I was diagnosed with ADHD and OCD, as well as General Anxiety as a child, and was a hoarder for a good portion of my childhood until I got help. I used to pray to my God to help me cope with it, and I truly believed that he would be there to help me. But since I got into science and started watching documentaries on stuff that interested me, and started actually reading the bible, I figured out that what I believed in is a huge pile of horse crap. When I went to my parents for some advice, my mom lost her mind about it and is suffering depression because of me choosing to be an agnostic. My dad is okay with it, as he is a rationalist and he truly doesn't care most of the time. Sorry that I've rambled. If there's anything I haven't answered, tell me and I'll reply with more if I can.

Ring0 Wrote:Since I became an agnostic, I've felt a huge hole in my life occur. When I came out about it to my parents my dad didn't care but my mom is depressed now. I feel like this is all my fault and that I've failed my parents. I also feel like I have no one to go to to talk about my problems... Most of my friends are agnostic or atheists, but I always grew up with that supernatural prayer thing that kept me sane for awhile. I realized that it's highly unlikely for a God to exist and all that stuff... But what should I do to ease the stress?

Well first of all, changing your mental attitude from religious theist to agnostic-nontheist is not supposed to be based on your own emotions. You became depressed after considering agnosticism, and maybe You expected too much, and when the load came bearing on You from your parents, You did not handle it logically but emotionally. You need to discuss this sort of thing rationally with your parents. Explain to them why and how You think the way You currently are. Reinforce the fact that You are not trying to "convert" them as You explain your thought process, because an agnostic thought process is not pro-theism. But if your dad as You say does not care, You do not need to reach any mutual understandings with him.

Uproot the underlying reasons for the conflict between You and your mom. Find out what about agnosticism or atheism is causing her stress. If it can be researched, show her the information that will break any false claims. Remove the sources of stress. If the issue is that of "hell", show her the cultural diversity across the globe and how obscure it would be to know if "christianity" was the religion that would truly damn You.

Are you on medication for anxiety? It might help you if you aren't yet. I know people are resistant to chemically treating their mental illnesses, but to be honest, I've had depression and anxiety all my life and it helped me so much to get on the right drugs.