Interesting stuff, worth the read.

I am willing to believe that too many young men are not taught a healthy relationship to sex and the other gender, but making that the fault of feminism and a heightened awareness of gender roles and harassment is just ridiculous propaganda. I'm not buying that at all, and I was a "young German computer enthusiast" as well who spent most of his days in the basement over tech stuff.
I don't think that young men are so scared by the mean feminist girls nowadays that they retreat to a boorish lad culture. How about the other way around: they are taught a completely unhealthy "lad culture" first and therefore are too fucked up to deal with girls as human beings, and not some scary other species? Anyone who thinks that this is what feminism does is being a tool. How 'bout that?

I think there are more than a few unquestioned premises in the article, and overheated rhetoric.

Extreme feminism is indeed an annoyance, but those guys who are abandoning the idea of meaningful relationships because of a few gals don't represent the norm, is my bet.

(December 9, 2014 at 11:27 am)Parkers Tan Wrote: I think there are more than a few unquestioned premises in the article, and overheated rhetoric.

Extreme feminism is indeed an annoyance, but those guys who are abandoning the idea of meaningful relationships because of a few gals don't represent the norm, is my bet.

I think so too.
Although I fail to meet a lot of these "extreme feminists" everyone always complains about. All the ones I usually read sound rather rational and non-man-hating.

(December 9, 2014 at 11:00 am)Bad Wolf Wrote: Interesting stuff, worth the read.

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I think that the article is way overblown, but there's bits of truth in it. Over-prescription of Ritalin is rampant. I volunteered in classrooms when my girls were in elementary school and saw many boys on Ritalin who I would consider just normal boys. And the multi-activity teaching style wasn't very conducive to helping kids concentrate either.

At the high school level, sex ed here is very explicit. I'm pretty sure my girls have a better theoretical knowledge of sex than their grandmothers. And that education includes much worry about sexual violence or even just peer pressure to have sex. The male is always portrayed as the assailant. The classes include role-playing attempts to get kisses or more and it's the girls' job to say no. Isn't that lovely, the boys get to be turned down after being instructed to ask?

College entrance (we are in the midst of that process) is more mixed. Girls now make up a slight majority in the liberal arts in colleges and selective colleges are looking for boys interested in English and History. But the STEM programs just drool over girls with the desire and aptitude to study in the sciences. My younger girl isn't a junior yet and she's already getting college recruitment mail, for that very reason.

We've got a board full of guys in their 20s and 30s here. Is it that awful?

I agree, overblown. I'm happily married. I don't think I've met any women who sound like this.

I see parenting getting worse and worse, not to mention harder with social media being so insidious. I blame parenting for a lot of problems that get pinned on other factors which aren't the main cause. I think the next generation is troubled.

(December 9, 2014 at 11:00 am)Bad Wolf Wrote: Interesting stuff, worth the read.

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There is some interesting ideas in this, it needs a lot of thought and research, I'm not prepared to accept some of the hyperbole off the cuff.

MM

(December 9, 2014 at 11:00 am)Bad Wolf Wrote: Interesting stuff, worth the read.

Mostly a tiresome load of hyperbolic reactionary crap.

As Jenny said, there is some truth to the over-medication part. I've been ADHD all of my life and learned to consciously compensate for it without medication.

And Rob, I agree we are the worst generation of parents. No Child Left Behind has only made the situation even worse. When you take away the prospect of failure, you also take away the motive to succeed.

The railing the article does against rape awareness is utter crap. Our society coddles rapists even today. Sentences are way too light, prosecution is still riddled with victim shaming and blaming and I'm continuously appalled at how even educated members of our society can still say ignorant things like "forced kissing isn't sexual assault."

And of course there was the obligatory paragraph about how "nice guys can't get anywhere anyway". It is true that some women have lousy taste in men. I always avoided them when I was single. But most nice guys can do well if they learn how to walk the line between pushover and abusive. You don't have to be an abuser to get a woman's attention. Just be willing to stand up for yourself and not be a doormat. I've found that works well enough.

Some guys I've known will use the "I can't get anywhere because I'm a nice guy" rationalization which is a convenient one as it puts the blame on women rather than compelling the guy to examine what he might be doing wrong. One guy I knew who claimed that was the reason he was single and he was somewhere between a "2" or a "3" who only chased after "9s" and "10s". His problem was being unwilling to look in the mirror and set realistic standards based on what he offers in return. Hey, fantasy is nice, and I certainly partake as much as the next man, but when you live in the real world you have to come to terms that not every woman looks like Lara Croft just as not every man has the body of Arnold Schwarzenegger.

Wow.... exaggeration may be an understatement! O.o
I admit, my eldest kid is 11, so not there yet, but I see him interacting with just about everyone in his class... the same goes for my other kids. They interact mostly with boys, of course, it's natural.... but also with girls.

The US and UK seem to have a problem with boys in a classroom... I don't get it... around here... yes, there is the occasional kid who just can't seem to stay seated... but most are normal... hence the word: normal. But normal here... isn't normal there.... is it?
When I was a kid, those misbehaving types got to face the wall for an hour or so and that would curb their unwanted behavior...
Then along came the 90's and the "pedopsychologists" with all their theories about not punishing kids when they misbehave... just offer positive reinforcement.
Now, you have kids with a bunch of delusions of grandeur... which get shot down by one girl rejecting them.... they're not used to handle a "no". They spent their childhood only getting "yes"s.
Instead, people could learn a thing or two from wildlife... children play, lion cubs play, chimp cubs play... and, as they play, they learn the rules of social engagement, of material resistance, of tool usage... they learn to become adults.
Some of the children of the 90's never learned how to be adults... so they never became adults.... now they find they can't play the adult game and run away... but there's no momma to run to, so... they just close up.... I guess it's better than the alternative...

Another reason parenting is so bad in my opinion is the ability of technology to keep your kid quiet. I think parents are allowing their children to stare at a screen all day from a very early age because it's the path of least resistance. But then they are not learning good social skills, are being educated more by online rubbish than their parents, and the parents often have no idea what they are viewing.

Ignorance is not an excuse, parents. If your kid is spending 8 hours a day on the internet, it's about time you took a class in it and understood what it was. (I'm not aiming that at parents on this board, you all seem like very sensible people. Plus, like, you're on the internet )

I played a lot of games when I was a little shit, but it was balanced with other activities. Same as now. Games are cool.

I was a substitute teacher for about 3 weeks, before I nearly had a breakdown and had to quit. The kids were evil, really ferociously horrid. They had no idea how to behave, no respect for anyone.