atheism and children

[Clueless Morgan]

Omg you just gave me a panic attack!!! Lol

I want to get my tubes tied but I can't afford it. Plus the asshole docs who will try and shame me for want to do it before I have kids because "what if you change your mind!?!?"

I know someone who was born after her mom got her tubes tied lol. Apart from abstinence or a hysterectomy, there is no 100%.

TBH, a totally hysterectomy doesn't sound too bad to me. No babies AND no period either!!! There's, like, no downside!!

[Catholic_Lady]

I know someone who was born after her mom got her tubes tied lol. Apart from abstinence or a hysterectomy, there is no 100%.

TBH, a totally hysterectomy doesn't sound too bad to me. No babies AND no period either!!!  There's, like, no downside!!  

Hahaha!!

[Whateverist]

I know someone who was born after her mom got her tubes tied lol. Apart from abstinence or a hysterectomy, there is no 100%.

TBH, a totally hysterectomy doesn't sound too bad to me. No babies AND no period either!!!  There's, like, no downside!!  

I had an aunt who described it as removing the baby maker and enlarging the playpen.

[AFTT47]

I have a daughter by accident. She was adopted as neither I nor my wife are suitable as parents.

Thank you for choosing adoption. I am sure your daughter is very grateful as well.

It was my wife's choice. She is one of the rare liberal, science-minded (degrees in zoology, biochemistry and nursing) persons who equates an early (prior to higher brain development) fetus with a human being. I simply respected her wishes.

My daughter has spinobifoda (incomplete spinal cord development) and the resultant hydrocephalus and non-functional legs. She was raised Mormon and buys into it fully. She gave birth to two children. The first was autistic (not dysfunctional, though) and the second was a major problem-pregnancy which endangered her life. It all turned out fine though with a normal birth.

Saying any of them are "grateful" is somewhat presumptuous but probably true at this juncture. We all have an innate fear of death and most of us seem to be glad for our existence, tenuous and problematic though it is.

[AFTT47]

As for atheists as a group being more anti-children than average, I can't say why that is (if it's true). I can personally say that my brain is wired very differently than the average person regarding children. I feel no special bond to them (or adult family members for that matter). My likelihood of feeling kinship with someone is based entirely on the resonance of their values and interests with mine. Family members have no special place in my world.

Although never formally diagnosed, I suspect I have Asperger's Syndrome or other Autism-spectrum disorder. My sensitivity to noise (especially a crying baby!), lack of bonding instinct and tendency towards narcissism lead me to believe such. I do have strong empathy for underdogs in general and especially for animals, though.

Do you have empathy for babies/children?

Not in general. In fact, I found the yellow "Baby on Board!" signs for vehicles in the 80s very annoying. I do not see a baby's life as more valuable than an adult's. I have empathy for abused babies/children in the same way I have empathy for anyone/thing at the mercy of a greater power.

[Pyrrho]

I'm going to be the only person in catagory c...how embarassing, lol.

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To be fair, I became disabled in my mid 20's with severe anxiety and panic disorder.  I never wanted kids with my first husband, because he was a total loser (don't get married at 19 kids!), but after divorcing him and meeting me new husband, I didn't want kids because:
a) I did not feel I would be a good mother because of my illness.
b) I had very little money.
c) I do think the future is likely to be difficult with possible issues with things like food shortages, dwindling access to clean drinking water, etc.
b) The world is already overpopulated and I did not want to add to the population problem!

My hubby moved us to the coast for my health, and it seems to have worked because as I became less stressed out...and then I got pregnant.  At 32 and using more than 1 kind of BC, it was really unexpected.  But we both agreed that this was really our only shot to have a child, so we decided to keep her.  I was getting better with my anxiety, hubby had an ok job, it was the right timing I guess.

However, I signed paperwork to have my tubes tied before I hit 3 months of pregnancy. I had the surgery done about 90 minutes after giving birth.  One child is all we will ever have for all the same reasons still listed above.

I love my daughter (I feel like I would literally die without her, now), and I love kids in general (otherwise I could not be a Girl Scout leader!) but it does make me a little sick to see large families in this day and age.  I don't think people should have more than 2 kids, for the sake of those very same kids.  Honestly.

However, I do notice more and more families only have one or 2 kids.  ALL of my kids friends are only children or only have one sibling.  I still see families with 5 or 6 kids around, but it seems that trend is less common now.  It's just time for humanity to suck it up and realize you can't just pop out a dozen kids anymore.  
200 years ago, yes, because sadly a lot of your kids would die before age 5, plus people often used kids as labor devices in their shops or on their farms.  And people did not have access to any family planning tools.  

Nowadays, there is no excuse in developed countries to have more than 3 kids, except utter blind selfish stupidity. Just IMHO.

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Feel free to ignore this question, as it is rather personal. Why didn't your husband get a vasectomy beforehand? It is cheap, effective, and safe.

[Pyrrho]

I have a daughter by accident. She was adopted as neither I nor my wife are suitable as parents.

Thank you for choosing adoption. I am sure your daughter is very grateful as well.

That is uncertain.  Ask robvalue about that if needed.  If they had chosen an abortion, the fetus would not now be regretting anything in the decision.

(That, by the way, is not a suggestion that they ought to have gotten one.  It is just a matter of fact about the outcome.)

[Minimalist]

A. I have children OR am currently open to having children (through adoption or otherwise) at some point in the future if things line up right. and am now happy to stick with dogs.

[Aoi Magi]

I plan on having kids, ...eventually! I am no chicken

I do prefer adoption though
1) cause I love my beauty sleep
2) It's better to recycle

[Jenny A]

I'm not sure atheists as a group really are less likely to have or want kids.  I think your perception might be a correlation error.

In the U.S. people have been having fewer children later for some time now and that a trend that's growing faster than atheism.  Most of our U.S. members are pretty young (at least by my middle aged standards).  The birth rate in Europe is down even further.  And we have many Europeans, not to mention British members.  Perhaps both atheism (or at least secularism) and a low birth rate are symptoms of something else, like education, access to birth control, career women, the cost of raising and educating kids, or something else.

* * *

I do have children, or I guess really young adults.  The girls are 18 and 16 and they are my bright, loving, funny, joy.  And I'm very glad I have them.  But I didn't want kids until I met their daddy.  His kids, I wanted to have.   And he is a very good daddy.