Another raaaaaaaaaape!!!

[*Deidre*]

The important thing that sometimes gets lost in these discussions, and news stories is that even though she ''voluntarily'' went into the shower with the guy, I'd like to believe that most guys (guys I know at least and on this site, for example) would not have raped her. The supposition that well, she shouldn't have been there in the first place, places an unfair mark on men in general, that if given the opportunity 'most' men would commit rape, and that is also a grossly erroneous view to take. People always have options, and when in doubt, do the right thing. She should have been more prudent, most definitely, but her lack of prudence, doesn't give someone the license to commit a crime.

Yes, but there is something we are missing here. Most of the time you have sex with someone, there is no pause where your like " Okay, do you agree to vaginal intercourse?" No most of the time you express consent via actions. Now for most of us this is not really a problem, because it usually pretty clear by time you get your clothes off if someone wants it or not.
Now maybe I'm a barbaric troglodyte, but if a girl invites me into the shower with her, and then starts kissing in the shower, I'm going to take that as a pretty clear sign of "I wonna fuck". Now obviously if she says stop, you stop. Unfortunately that is easier said then done. But given all of the details here it is suspicious if she actually said stop at all. Unfortunately a rape kit can not really distinguish between very vigorous sex and rape. So all we have is her word, and elements of her story seem very outlandish.
Thankfully 99.9% of rape cases are not like this, but I worry if stories like this will make it harder to take rape victims seriously.

I definitely see your point. And there are also cases that have been in the news where women have falsely accused men of rape, and that's also something not discussed enough. I tend to not make a judgment until I read/hear all the facts in cases.

[Jello]

Yes, but there is something we are missing here. Most of the time you have sex with someone, there is no pause where your like " Okay, do you agree to vaginal intercourse?" No most of the time you express consent via actions. Now for most of us this is not really a problem, because it usually pretty clear by time you get your clothes off if someone wants it or not.
Now maybe I'm a barbaric troglodyte, but if a girl invites me into the shower with her, and then starts kissing in the shower, I'm going to take that as a pretty clear sign of "I wonna fuck". Now obviously if she says stop, you stop. Unfortunately that is easier said then done. But given all of the details here it is suspicious if she actually said stop at all. Unfortunately a rape kit can not really distinguish between very vigorous sex and rape. So all we have is her word, and elements of her story seem very outlandish.
Thankfully 99.9% of rape cases are not like this, but I worry if stories like this will make it harder to take rape victims seriously.

I definitely see your point. And there are also cases that have been in the news where women have falsely accused men of rape, and that's also something not discussed enough. I tend to not make a judgment until I read/hear all the facts in cases.

Aye. False accusations are becoming worryingly common lately. Sexual assault towards men is also something that is rarely discussed, which definitely needs to change.

[*Deidre*]

I definitely see your point. And there are also cases that have been in the news where women have falsely accused men of rape, and that's also something not discussed enough. I tend to not make a judgment until I read/hear all the facts in cases.

Aye. False accusations are becoming worryingly common lately. Sexual assault towards men is also something that is rarely discussed, which definitely needs to change.

Agree.

[account_inactive]

Aye. False accusations are becoming worryingly common lately. Sexual assault towards men is also something that is rarely discussed, which definitely needs to change.

Completely agree, but that's not likely to happen anytime soon due to the rise of the SJW feminazis.

[Catholic_Lady]

I disagree with this entirely. 

A woman would have every right to "be upset" about a man not stopping when she wanted him to.

I hope you also believe that a man should have every right should the roles be reversed.



Back onto the actual case at hand, yup, he's a rapist, and yup, someone should really tell her that risk mitigation is a thing.

I absolutely do. 

I'm not a feminazi just because I objected to someone else saying a rape victim has no right to be upset about getting raped.

[GrandizerII]

Aye. False accusations are becoming worryingly common lately. Sexual assault towards men is also something that is rarely discussed, which definitely needs to change.

Completely agree, but that's not likely to happen anytime soon due to the rise of the SJW feminazis.

[Jello]

I hope you also believe that a man should have every right should the roles be reversed.



Back onto the actual case at hand, yup, he's a rapist, and yup, someone should really tell her that risk mitigation is a thing.

I absolutely do. 

I'm not a feminazi just because I objected to someone else saying a rape victim has no right to be upset about getting raped.

Wasn't saying you were. Was just making sure, because i've ran into enough people who seem to think that sexual assault can only happen to women.

[Thumpalumpacus]

The important thing that sometimes gets lost in these discussions, and news stories is that even though she ''voluntarily'' went into the shower with the guy, I'd like to believe that most guys (guys I know at least and on this site, for example) would not have raped her. The supposition that well, she shouldn't have been there in the first place, places an unfair mark on men in general, that if given the opportunity 'most' men would commit rape, and that is also a grossly erroneous view to take. People always have options, and when in doubt, do the right thing. She should have been more prudent, most definitely, but her lack of prudence, doesn't give someone the license to commit a crime.

If I'm in a shower, naked with a woman, and she kisses me, she's sending me a sexual signal.

Of course if she says no later I'll respect that. But we all should recognize that signals are also a form of communication.

It seems to me that her mistake was sending the wrong signal at the wrong time under the wrong circumstances, if she didn't want sex.

I think that's where the crosstalk in this thread is coming from.

[account_inactive]

Completely agree, but that's not likely to happen anytime soon due to the rise of the SJW feminazis.

That's cool.

[Catholic_Lady]

What? So a person shouldn't go to second base unless they intend on having intercourse? 

On your second part, I agree. Obviously people need to be smart and careful in their actions. I did object to you saying she shouldn't be upset about getting raped, since she kissed/showered with him. And I did object to you comparing rape to a traffic accident.

Yeah. Unless you're with someone who is well practced at stopping themselves, by using a safe word or something similar, then you probably shouldn't start running for second base unless you intend to bring it home. Because sometimes it leads to things going wrong.

Safe word? Why can't "no, I don't want to do this anymore, stop" be enough? Why does someone need to be "practiced" in not raping someone when they are horny?  

What I don't like is that you're kind of talking as though rape is an accidental thing that just "happens" and a man has no control over it once it's already started, or gotten close to starting. Perhaps that's not what you mean to say, but that's what it sounds like. And that specifically is what I'm taking issue with.