Bad mornings are bad

[Losty]

So, today I finished the biopsy from my last doctor appointment. (There were supposed to be 3 samples but we only got 2 because of complications).
The results from the first two samples are positive for high risk HPV and suggestive of possible precancerous changes.

So Tuesday we are going to dilate my cervix and do a "scraping biopsy" and then "go from there".

I hate my doctor even though he's always been wonderful I just hate him anyways because he won't look me in the face and give me any straight answers. He keeps insisting we don't really know yet.

I know l look cute and pathetic when I'm upset and scared but that doesn't mean I want you to give me comforting words while avoiding providing any real or useful information. I need to know what's really going on and what's next and what's happening because Tuesday is fucking 6 days away and I don't know if I can survive that long feeling like I'm in the dark about scary shit.

So that's my morning. Sorry for ranting. I haven't told anyone in my family yet so I figured I would vent here.

[robvalue]

Oh no Losty I'm so sorry

[Brian37]

Well, the body is complex and while doctors can fix many problems, a diagnosis does not always produce what we want to hear, and sometimes that diagnosis is "we don't know yet"....... And ultimately we don't live forever in any case. It sucks, and I hate the limbo too, when my mom has to wait for the data to come in. Never easy for sure.

[Joods]

Awe, sweetie, I know this is scary for you. I had a colposcopy (sp?) done back in 1998 for precancerous cells in my cervix. They got them all out. I'm here if you want or need to talk.

[rexbeccarox]

Hang in there, Losty. I'm really sorry you're going through this. :hugs:

[downbeatplumb]

So, today I finished the biopsy from my last doctor appointment. (There were supposed to be 3 samples but we only got 2 because of complications).
The results from the first two samples are positive for high risk HPV and suggestive of possible precancerous changes.

So Tuesday we are going to dilate my cervix and do a "scraping biopsy" and then "go from there".

I hate my doctor even though he's always been wonderful I just hate him anyways because he won't look me in the face and give me any straight answers. He keeps insisting we don't really know yet.

I know l look cute and pathetic when I'm upset and scared but that doesn't mean I want you to give me comforting words while avoiding providing any real or useful information. I need to know what's really going on and what's next and what's happening because Tuesday is fucking 6 days away and I don't know if I can survive that long feeling like I'm in the dark about scary shit.

So that's my morning. Sorry for ranting. I haven't told anyone in my family yet so I figured I would vent here.

I had to go for an ultra sound to check some bumps for possible cancer. So I understand the uncertain time. It turned out I was clear of cancer but had a condition that the Dr had done his doctoral thesis on. He was in his element for a while there.

[account_inactive]

Sorry to hear that.

[Edwardo Piet]

Words cannot express how much compassion I feel for you, wonderful Lostykins.

I hope Tuesday's results go well. I know you know I'm always here if you need to talk about anything

[drfuzzy]

Oh gosh, Losty, I'm sorry - - I know EXACTLY how you feel.  I had a colonoscopy two years ago - they found a badmamajama tumor - - it seemed to take forever to get biopsy results, then another procedure, then wait for more results, with doctors just saying "be patient and don't worry".   Yeah right.  They got all of it though.  It's amazing what medical science can do these days.  Have a glass of wine or three and keep us posted.    

[Crossless2.0]

Losty, so sorry to hear you're going through this. Be strong and vent whenever you have a mind to.