I have arisen! Oh Glory!

[YahwehIsTheWay]

Greetings unsaved heathens destined to delight our loving Lord's sadistic glee on judgment day! 

For those who remember me, I, YahwehIsTheWay, am back from the dead [1] and have returned to spread the Word among you who are predestined not to believe it anyway because the Lord has a lot of anger issues and needs to take out His holy aggression by flinging your souls into the lake of fire. Better you than me. Mostly, I'll be buzzing any dumbass phony Christians who think John 3:16 is the only verse in the Holy Bible and teaching their little minds what it really means to take in the whole Book. 

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(out of character)
[1]...or from real life being very hectic and a bad case of depression I'm still fighting with. Sorry I've been away for so long. I don't even remember how long it's been. Hope everyone I remember is well. 

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For those who haven't met me yet, I was once this forum's resident True Christian ™. AND YOU CAN TELL I'M A TRUE CHRISTIAN BECAUSE OF MY ABUSE OF THE ALL CAPS BUTTON AND NEEDLESS EXCLAIMATION POINTS!!!!!!!! I believe in every word of the Holy Bible, even the parts that make no sense, clearly contradict reality or are inconsistent with other passages of scripture. What I post will be backed by faithful representations or direct quotations of the Word of our Lord. 

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(out of character)
It's a strange way to participate, I know, but I'm so amazed that anyone ever believed any of this crap, never mind in today's advanced era. Comedy is how we cope. Typically, I'm "inspired" when I read something a Christian apologist has posted, I remove the palm of my hand from my face and start enthusiastically typing "AMEN" and "explaining" why, taking it apart from the inside. 

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GLORY! 
Praise the Sweet Name of Jesus.

[LastPoet]

Oh, hi DP. Glad to see you around. You still make youtube videos? Robvalue is making some lately. I have lost the habit of checking my youtube subs, my wife is expecting a girl, my daughter

[LastPoet]

Have you notified the staff to merge your accounts or something? Some of them mabe don't remember you or your poe.

[robvalue]

Noice!

About time we got a proper-ass Christian in the house, to whip all these liberal back sliders into shape.

High five dude, good to see you!

[LastPoet]

He is only the truest christian until Betty Bowers join the forum.

[robvalue]

When I finally become Christian, I'm gonna be the truest one ever. I'm gonna shame them all with my ultra-literal fundamentalism. Whatever they are doing, I can show them it's wrong. The bible has that guarantee.

[LastPoet]

When I finally become Christian, I'm gonna be the truest one ever. I'm gonna shame them all with my ultra-literal fundamentalism. Whatever they are doing, I can show them it's wrong. The bible has that guarantee.

I think you weren't around when the staff pulled an Epic aprils fools on us. The aftermath wasn't as peacefull, big forum brawl, etc. We have those from time to time.

DPs poe is a remnant of those times. Fun times. Boy, was Napo pissed.

[YahwehIsTheWay]

Have you notified the staff to merge your accounts or something? Some of them mabe don't remember you or your poe.

I was thinking of only posting under this one account (doing "out of character" as needed). Not against the idea of merging it with my pre-Resurrection YITW account, though. I just couldn't remember the password. 

I also need to notify the admins here to get access to all that foul, disgusting adult stuff, you know, so I can keep the Lord notified of all the shameless sinning you heathens are doing. Yeah, that's why.

[madog]

 
GLORY! 
Praise the Sweet Name of Jesus.

Hi, was thinking of joining your church .... I have shopped around for the one that lets me hate the most people and be superior to the biggest percentage of humanity, do you have a sales brochure I can read?

[Aoi Magi]

hmm so someone even older than me showed up? Oh well,

Welcome back you old fossil!