A question for the ladies of AF

[Edwardo Piet]

For a long time I confused the  need for intimacy, friendship and companionship with sex drive. I think because I didn't actually ever have a sex drive so didn't know that there was a difference

I feel the same way about my experience of emotions. I can really relate to having so-called "normality" programmed into you and convincing yourself you experience things that most people do, the way most people do, even though you don't.

Ever since living alone I 'feel like' I've been de-programmed, and whenever someone asks me how I feel now I'm like "Wait a minute, what does that even mean? What are people actually talking about? I thought I knew what you folks meant but I'm starting to 'feel like' you experience something a little extra . . . Do you merely mean am I distracting myself and passing time? Do you merely mean am I in physical pain? Do you merely mean am I enjoying the sensual taste of food or warmth? I doubt you merely mean those things."

Of course, I am not suggesting you are remotely unemotional in ways I am (I think one of the bizarre things is I often come across as highly emotional . . . but I now think that's down to intense impulses and desires rather than moods or emotions). I am merely saying that I can really relate to confusing one thing with another (in my case the way most people seem to experience emotions with the way I do, and in your case confusing intimacy, friendship and companionship with sex drive. In fact I may have even had the opposite confusion! It's almost like this whole time I've been confusing my strong primal desires and urges with emotions.), and not knowing the difference because you didn't experience something in the same way as others in the first place. I think I get that.

So, we have certainly experienced confusion about different things, and perhaps in different (or even opposite?) ways, but whereas perhaps some people may respond to your statement that you never knew the difference about X perhaps because you never really experienced X in the first place by thinking something akin to "Huh? What is she talking about? How does that work? How would never having something in the first place mean you didn't know you didn't have it?" . . . I think I actually know exactly what you mean by that.

[Catholic_Lady]

Pleeese don't make me go through that horror of a quote function again!

The OP is ostensibly, about two scantily clad women illuminated by Body Shop ™ Scented candles, and listening to Sigur Rós. Their soft, lengthy, recently shaved, silken smooth (Tea tree oil) warm thighs just happen to commingle when one reaches over the other for the wine/spliff.

And 'you' said; "I'll do it if you won't me too". Err, or something to that effect.

Your words woman! You proposed that in these times there'll be a  great rubbing of clams!



Hate? Most certainly not. A good sideways look, most definitely.

The title of this OP is literally: a question for the ladies of AF.  So, if you have a penis, keep in mind you weren't even technically invited into this conversation to begin with.  If a man can't help but click on this thread title with his raging hard-on; if he can't participate in an adult discussion about the fluidity of female sexually without being reduced to a pile of cum and tears; without defaulting to the tasteless and cliche fantasies he's jerked off to a thousand times while trying to watch Skinamax through the squiggly lines on his mom's TV; that is certainly no fault of CL's, and it speaks exactly nothing to her motives.  Might all of this animosity have something to do with the fact that she's an attractive, young woman?  If CL was the spitting image of John C. Riley but with more weight and less hair, would you still be charging her with attention-seeking motives?  

Ya'll need to grow up.

Hahahaha, LFC this post is gold!

[Edwardo Piet]

It also got confusing because I know what it is like to be turned on. When I had a lot of repressions these came out as kinks that I could not satisfy but when working through the repression I lost the kink. But it was never about having sex with other people.

This is perhaps even more interesting. I'm really new to the idea of being able to be turned on and have sexual kinks without really having a sex drive. How did you figure that one out?

---

[...] If a man can't help but click on this thread title with his raging hard-on; if he can't participate in an adult discussion about the fluidity of female sexually without being reduced to a pile of cum and tears; without defaulting to the tasteless and cliche fantasies he's jerked off to a thousand times [...]

LFC! Why must you talk about me and mock me this way! I thought we were friends!

[Athene]

Thena, I meant no insult or condescension with this thread. I was curious about an observation I made (that a couple others have also said they noticed/are curious about) and opened up a thread because I was bored. Nothing more, nothing less, and you are honestly putting way too much thought into this.

If you dont think it's anyone's business and dont want to participate on the poll, thats fair enough - dont. Its a personal question and the invitation to answer is just that - an invotation. No one is forcing you.

I see that you, again on this post, say that i have "multiple times" supposedly made threads/posts where a draw parallels between atheism and "behaviors I find immoral." I asked you already to please show me where I've done that, and you didnt. You just came back on here and accused me of it again without providing examples to back up your claim about me.  

Anyway, I can't sit here and tell you that you're wrong about my intentions for this thread. You've already made up your mind what my intention is (despite me telling you it isnt) and are trying to convince others of it. Clearly you will continue to think what you want to think.

Person A: Your intention is to insult us!
Peraon B: No, actually I mean no insult at all...
Person A: Yes you do!!!!
Person B: Ok then.

Lol...Yes. I'm aware that no one was required to participate in your little poll, CL. I responded to the thread simply because I felt like calling you out on your phony-baloney horseshit. In my estimation, it was well deserving of mockery and ridicule. I had some time to kill, so I delivered it.

And for the record, I have no interest in convincing others to adopt my opinion of you. A few folks who are friendly with you took issue with my initial post and chose to either quote me or address me directly, asking that I explain my assessment of your character and/or intentions. 

They asked, so I answered honestly.
With no expectation that I'd be "changing hearts and minds".

[Losty]

I don’t get it

Pleeese don't make me go through that horror of a quote function again!

The OP is ostensibly, about two scantily clad women illuminated by Body Shop ™ Scented candles, and listening to Sigur Rós. Their soft, lengthy, recently shaved, silken smooth (Tea tree oil) warm thighs just happen to commingle when one reaches over the other for the wine/spliff.

And 'you' said; "I'll do it if you won't me too". Err, or something to that effect.

Your words woman! You proposed that in these times there'll be a  great rubbing of clams!



Hate? Most certainly not. A good sideways look, most definitely.

I have no idea what you’re talking about but I’ll go with it. Should I start oiling up someone’s thighs?

[Whateverist]

I always suspected you were weird like that....





(I'm straight too.... straight to Roula the goat!   )

Can't catch a camel?

I'd settle for the toe.

[Catholic_Lady]

Thena, I meant no insult or condescension with this thread. I was curious about an observation I made (that a couple others have also said they noticed/are curious about) and opened up a thread because I was bored. Nothing more, nothing less, and you are honestly putting way too much thought into this.

If you dont think it's anyone's business and dont want to participate on the poll, thats fair enough - dont. Its a personal question and the invitation to answer is just that - an invotation. No one is forcing you.

I see that you, again on this post, say that i have "multiple times" supposedly made threads/posts where a draw parallels between atheism and "behaviors I find immoral." I asked you already to please show me where I've done that, and you didnt. You just came back on here and accused me of it again without providing examples to back up your claim about me.  

Anyway, I can't sit here and tell you that you're wrong about my intentions for this thread. You've already made up your mind what my intention is (despite me telling you it isnt) and are trying to convince others of it. Clearly you will continue to think what you want to think.

Person A: Your intention is to insult us!
Peraon B: No, actually I mean no insult at all...
Person A: Yes you do!!!!
Person B: Ok then.

Lol...Yes. I'm aware that no one was required to participate in your little poll, CL. I responded to the thread simply because I felt like calling you out on your phony-baloney horseshit. In my estimation, it was well deserving of mockery and ridicule. I had some time to kill, so I delivered it.

And for the record, I have no interest in convincing others to adopt my opinion of you. A few folks who are friendly with you took issue with my initial post and chose to either quote me or address me directly, asking that I explain my assessment of your character and/or intentions. 

They asked, so I answered honestly.
With no expectation that I'd be "changing hearts and minds".

Ok. Good bye.

[Whateverist]

For a long time I confused the  need for intimacy, friendship and companionship with sex drive. I think because I didn't actually ever have a sex drive so didn't know that there was a difference. Men automatically assume that if you are disinterested in sex then it is because you are not doing it right. Yeah I like cuddles, but given a choice  there are many other things that I'd prefer to be doing than sex. It also got confusing because I know what it is like to be turned on. When I had a lot of repressions these came out as kinks that I could not satisfy but when working through the repression I lost the kink. But it was never about having sex with other people.

Put it like this. Imagine if almost everybody in society was really into vigorously rubbing their elbows or blowing air onto their eyeballs, and expected you to enjoy it as well. Then when you don't people say that there's something wrong with you. I mention the elbow because that's like normal sex when no one is trying to stimulate me. It's just an arbitrary part of the body. I mention the eyeball because that's what it feels like to me when someone does try to physically stimulate me. It just becomes more irritating. And then people tell you that you aren't rubbing your elbow properly, and you should blow air onto your eyeball. Then you'll enjoy it like them. And if you still don't then they tell you that you must be repressed. No, I know what repressions are like and they at least give me kinks that I could enjoy.

Yes hormones have an effect. You get more pleasure from satisfying a bigger hunger. This is the same for food, sex, water, drugs etc. But no amount of hormones is going to make me want to rub my elbow or blow air onto my eyeball.

I still want a companion though. I still want to share my life with someone. I still want friends. I can still find men and women aesthetically attractive.

You've at least tried anal?

---

j/k

---

[Catholic_Lady]

For a long time I confused the  need for intimacy, friendship and companionship with sex drive. I think because I didn't actually ever have a sex drive so didn't know that there was a difference

I feel the same way about my experience of emotions. I can really relate to having so-called "normality" programmed into you and convincing yourself you experience things that most people do, the way most people do, even though you don't.

Ever since living alone I 'feel like' I've been de-programmed, and whenever someone asks me how I feel now I'm like "Wait a minute, what does that even mean? What are people actually talking about? I thought I knew what you folks meant but I'm starting to 'feel like' you experience something a little extra . . . Do you merely mean am I distracting myself and passing time? Do you merely mean am I in physical pain? Do you merely mean am I enjoying the sensual taste of food or warmth? I doubt you merely mean those things."

Of course, I am not suggesting you are remotely unemotional in ways I am (I think one of the bizarre things is I often come across as highly emotional . . . but I now think that's down to intense impulses and desires rather than moods or emotions). I am merely saying that I can really relate to confusing one thing with another (in my case the way most people seem to experience emotions with the way I do, and in your case confusing intimacy, friendship and companionship with sex drive. In fact I may have even had the opposite confusion! It's almost like this whole time I've been confusing my strong primal desires and urges with emotions.), and not knowing the difference because you didn't experience something in the same way as others in the first place. I think I get that.

So, we have certainly experienced confusion about different things, and perhaps in different (or even opposite?) ways, but whereas perhaps some people may respond to your statement that you never knew the difference about X perhaps because you never really experienced X in the first place by thinking something akin to "Huh? What is she talking about? How does that work? How would never having something in the first place mean you didn't know you didn't have it?" . . . I think I actually know exactly what you mean by that.

Now that I think about it, I do remember watching a True Life episode years ago where they were featuring a couple of asexual folks. From what I remember, they all still craved human relationship and partnership. Though one of them did want a romantic relationship, while the other just wanted a close friend.

[Ravenshire]

Should I start oiling up someone’s thighs?

Well, mine have been feeling a little dry lately.