Hammy's Questions For You

[Edwardo Piet]

1. Beef, turtles, or buttsex?

2. If you had to name your favorite hour of the day, which clothing would you wear?

3. Least favorite cheese?

4. Most favorite bees?

5. If dinosaurs never became extinct, would you currently be in the middle of having your gall bladder ripped open by a raptor?

5. If Wednesday were the 11th day of the month, how many fingers would I be holding up?

5. Poker, Lizard geckos or this should be question 6?

7. Poker, Lizard Geckos or frogs that play blackjack?

8. Horses or donkeys?

9. Donkeys or dinosaurs?

10. Fundamentalist Christian or 3.5 Billion Hammy clones starting their own mayo cult?

11. Mayo or salad cream?

12. Silliness or wackiness?

13. Wackiness or zaniness?

14. Zaniness or loopiness?

15. Music or poetry?

16. Film or TV?

17. Cucumbers used for the purpose of dildos or dildos used for the purpose of cucumbers?

18. Bipolar Bears or Borderlime Limes?

19. Lemon or lime?

20. Mint choc chip ice cream or lots and lots of buttsex?

21. Toffee ice cream or mint choc chip ice cream?

22. Toffee ice cream or buttsex?

22. Yogurt or autistic blackjack?

23. Poker or a 27 hour long game of monopoly that drives you batshit insane for about a week?

24. The color yellow or the sound of a fart?

25. So much yellow everywhere so bright your eyes fall out, or so little farting you see the doctor about it?

26. Complete lack of farting due to missing bowel or "Eat more beans"?

27. Doctor or vet?

28. Vet or real doctor?

29. Insult towards vets or Hammy being a silly twatface?

30. Silly twatface or tasty vaginahead?

31. Did you enjoy wasting your time answering these questions?

31.a. Are you sad that they're not finished yet?

32. Is time you enjoyed wasting not wasted time, or is it incorrect to say you enjoyed wasting it if by doing so it was not a waste of time?

33. Dandruff all over your freshly shaved head or microscopic invisible skin flakes falling off your butt into your cup of coffee and you only notice just after you took a sip of it?

[rskovride]

33 Questions is a commitment I'm just not willing to make at the moment.

[Silver]

1. Beef, turtles, or buttsex?
Buttsex, of course.


2. If you had to name your favorite hour of the day, which clothing would you wear?
Nothing.

3. Least favorite cheese?


4. Most favorite bees?
The ones that sting.

5. If dinosaurs never became extinct, would you currently be in the middle of having your gall bladder ripped open by a raptor?
Nah, I'd be having buttsex with the raptor. 

5. If Wednesday were the 11th day of the month, how many fingers would I be holding up?
Forty-two.

5. Poker, Lizard geckos or this should be question 6?
Put the lime in the coconut...

7. Poker, Lizard Geckos or frogs that play blackjack?
Gecko kittens, of course.

8. Horses or donkeys?
Asses.

9. Donkeys or dinosaurs?
Asses.

10. Fundamentalist Christian or 3.5 Billion Hammy clones starting their own mayo cult?
Make it 3.4 Billion, and you've got yourself a deal.

11. Mayo or salad cream?
Mustard.

12. Silliness or wackiness?
Both.

13. Wackiness or zaniness?
Neither.

14. Zaniness or loopiness?
The third one.

15. Music or poetry?
Cher.

16. Film or TV?
Film on the tv.

17. Cucumbers used for the purpose of dildos or dildos used for the purpose of cucumbers?
I prefer eggplants.

18. Bipolar Bears or Borderlime Limes?
Buttsex Bears.

19. Lemon or lime?
Lemon-lime.

20. Mint choc chip ice cream or lots and lots of buttsex?
Lots and lots of buttsex with mint choc chip ice cream.

21. Toffee ice cream or mint choc chip ice cream?
Mint choc chip ice cream with buttsex.

22. Toffee ice cream or buttsex?
Buttsex.

22. Yogurt or autistic blackjack?
Yogurt.

23. Poker or a 27 hour long game of monopoly that drives you batshit insane for about a week?
Insanity is my forte.

24. The color yellow or the sound of a fart?
The sound of a yellow fart.

25. So much yellow everywhere so bright your eyes fall out, or so little farting you see the doctor about it?
See the doctor and buttsex him.

26. Complete lack of farting due to missing bowel or "Eat more beans"?
Buttsex with missing bowel.

27. Doctor or vet?
Vet.

28. Vet or real doctor?
You betcha.

29. Insult towards vets or Hammy being a silly twatface?
Aren't they both the same thing?

30. Silly twatface or tasty vaginahead?
Ewwwww

31. Did you enjoy wasting your time answering these questions?
Very much so.

31.a. Are you sad that they're not finished yet?
Not at all.

32. Is time you enjoyed wasting not wasted time, or is it incorrect to say you enjoyed wasting it if by doing so it was not a waste of time?


33. Dandruff all over your freshly shaved head or microscopic invisible skin flakes falling off your butt into your cup of coffee and you only notice just after you took a sip of it?
All of the above.  

[Losty]

Pretty sure the correct answer is buttsex for every question

[Edwardo Piet]

Pretty sure the correct answer is buttsex for every question

THAT IS THE CORRECT PASSPHRASE! YOU JUST UNLOCKED A SECRET LEVEL!

To win the level you must defeat The Ungodly Buttsex Monster ™

[vorlon13]

Not so much a secret level as a secret passage. Am I right ??

[*Deidre*]

Ewww wtf is salad cream? Must be a British thing

[Edwardo Piet]

It's like a different flavored mayo in a squirty tube.

[I_am_not_mafia]

1. Beef, turtles, or buttsex?

Turtlesex.

2. If you had to name your favorite hour of the day, which clothing would you wear?

That depends on what time of day I would be naming my favourite time of day. If I had to name it at night then I'd probably be naked.

3. Least favorite cheese?

The cheese I have accidentally eaten.

4. Most favorite bees?

Living bees.

5. If dinosaurs never became extinct, would you currently be in the middle of having your gall bladder ripped open by a raptor?

I'm all for positive discrimination but I would prefer to know that the dinosaur was physiologically capable of performing the operation.

5. If Wednesday were the 11th day of the month, how many fingers would I be holding up?

If you lived in Cornwall and used the webbing inbetween your fingers for counting as well then 6 if thumbs are counted as fingers.

5. Poker, Lizard geckos or this should be question 6?

The Cornish wouldn't have this problem.

7. Poker, Lizard Geckos or frogs that play blackjack?

Frogs that play blackjack. Lizard Geckos are probably better able to keep a poker face.

8. Horses or donkeys?

I am not judgmental about anyone's sexual preferences.

9. Donkeys or dinosaurs?

Depends on whether you like to be scratched or kicked in bed during sex and whether you need a gallbladder removed.

10. Fundamentalist Christian or 3.5 Billion Hammy clones starting their own mayo cult?

DNA engineering isn't sufficiently advanced to turn me into a Hammy clone but a frontal lobotomy with knitting needle could turn me into a fundamentalist christian.

11. Mayo or salad cream?

Neither. Both have dodgy fats and dairy.

12. Silliness or wackiness?

Silliness. Wackiness is trying too hard.

13. Wackiness or zaniness?

Wackiness. Zaniness is even further along the scale whereas wacky can perhaps get away with it.

14. Zaniness or loopiness?

Loopiness. It's funnier because it's genuine.

15. Music or poetry?

Music. Poetry is for untalented lesbians who want to stand up in a cosmopolitan cafe and express themselves but have no talent or anything to say.

16. Film or TV?

TV allows you to go to the toilet when you wish and not be disturbed by people eating loudly.

17. Cucumbers used for the purpose of dildos or dildos used for the purpose of cucumbers?

How ripe is the cucumber? How ripe is the dildo?

18. Bipolar Bears or Borderlime Limes?

Bipolar bears are funnier.

20. Mint choc chip ice cream or lots and lots of buttsex?

Wait. what do you use for a lubricant??

[Losty]

Flavored mayo on salad? Yuck