The Newly Departed thread: announcements (departures)

[Shell B]

Hammy seemed more akin to a hypochondriac to me.

I don’t know. I’m not one of the 40 mental health experts apparently present.

[Silver]

Also, his obsessive/compulsive type personality. Definitely a trait that is common in autism. When someone provokes him, it's harder for him to remain composed or just let it go than it is for the average neuro typical person.

Ah, but this has been a hallmark of his for as long as I've known him.

My contention is that it got drastically worse after he got his diagnosis. Which means he was under control before, but something changed.

A diagnosis of his kind doesn't make him worse unless he chooses to make it worse for himself.

[Joods]

While I agree that Hammy was 100% wrong in what he said to ShellB (and just so you guys know, Hamz is my friend and I just finished chastising him for it) I do think a lot of people knowingly misunderstand and misrepresent him to the community.  He may write text walls, but anyone who bothers to read them can see his is neither rambling, nor incoherent.

He knowingly accuses people of doing things they never did and then proceeds to go on a tirade for pages and pages about the same shit. It's attention-seeking behavior. Look at how many "Look at me, Look at me!" type of threads he makes. Or how he manages to bring his diagnosis into a lot of posts where people don't agree with him. He goes on the attack and lashes out at anyone who gets in his line of fire. Remember to him, it's all about him. 

I'm sorry but I disagree with his posts not being rambling or incoherent. When someone writes circular walls of text and they do it continuously over several posts in a row, it's rambling. When people ask for clarification because what he said didn't make sense - it's incoherent. 

He knowingly misrepresents himself to be someone he's not. And his text walls clearly show his impatience, annoyance and hatred towards anyone who either (a) doesn't respond in time (b) doesn't back him up © doesn't give him the answers he wants to hear (d) calls him out on his bullshit (e) isn't in agreement with anything he says (f) tries to give him advice he doesn't feel he needs. When he gets like this, he makes several passive aggressive remarks about his target that bleed onto other threads and then feigns ignorance when called out on it. He goes overboard and lavishly praises anyone who shows him the slightest agreement. He puts on one hell of a show that some people willingly fall for every time. 

We see his behavior in his posts. That is what we go on and when he causes an uproar like he has via several threads, then it's time to look at the common denominator and ask yourself who is causing the real problem. He knew exactly what he was doing and people who want to sit there and excuse away his behavior or blame it on a mental illness have been played. You can't bullshit a bullshitter and he couldn't handle it when people saw through his game and finally had enough of it. 

He's gone and there are a bunch of people finally speaking up about how he has behaved. We go by what we see. We can't all be wrong about it so I fail to see how everyone else is misunderstanding him when he just spews vile out like he has. Shell and Tibs have gone out of their way off these forums to help him. Shell didn't deserve any of the shit she got from him. Including being called those nasty names he used. No one here has misrepresented him in any way. The truth sometimes hurts. He is responsible for his own downfall, not everyone else. If the rest of us have to be adults and own our shit, then he should do the same. And if he wanted people to speak kindly of him, he should have behaved better.

[Silver]

Hammy seemed more akin to a hypochondriac to me.

I don’t know. I’m not one of the 40 mental health experts apparently present.

Neither am I, but I do notice and recognize patterns, especially in behavior.  One of my downfalls is that I am entirely too observant.

[brewer]

Also, his obsessive/compulsive type personality. Definitely a trait that is common in autism. When someone provokes him, it's harder for him to remain composed or just let it go than it is for the average neuro typical person.

Ah, but this has been a hallmark of his for as long as I've known him.

My contention is that it got drastically worse after he got his diagnosis. Which means he was under control before, but something changed.

Yep, he got another tool for his manipulation bag. 

Come on CL/LFC, we have several people here who admit to being diagnosed with ASD. How many of them use it as an entitlement for bad behavior?

[Joods]

I don’t know. I’m not one of the 40 mental health experts apparently present.

Neither am I, but I do notice and recognize patterns, especially in behavior.  One of my downfalls is that I am entirely too observant.

That's also one of the symptoms of PTSD. Hyper vigilance. I happen to have that and am all too aware of my surroundings, both irl and on the internet. If something is raising a red flag, I pay attention to it.

[LadyForCamus]

That he is autistic, which was the point of my comment to Kit.  I think he demonstrates that fact pretty well.

Yes, I understand that. In fact he went on at length and in great detail to make sure that we knew that and he repeats it every chance he gets. But there is more to it. Do you also understand that he's a self pity narcissist and master manipulator?

Start with the paragraph that begins: "Another way that the narcissist’s ego gets special attention is through the role of being a victim."

https://psychcentral.com/blog/narcissist...f-the-ego/

That’s just silly.  Hammy is the exact same Hammy now, post-diagnosis, as he was pre-diagnosis, and during our many one on one conversations, he has never described himself as a victim of anything.  And believe me, he’s got shit he could use if he wanted to.

[Shell B]

I just want to point out that hammy is one of the first members here. Many of us have known him for years and Tibs has known him longer than anyone commenting on Hammy’s behavior. Maybe, like with all people, people have different experiences with him. We can’t all just be dismissed as being obviously wrong.

[brewer]

Yes, I understand that. In fact he went on at length and in great detail to make sure that we knew that and he repeats it every chance he gets. But there is more to it. Do you also understand that he's a self pity narcissist and master manipulator?

Start with the paragraph that begins: "Another way that the narcissist’s ego gets special attention is through the role of being a victim."

https://psychcentral.com/blog/narcissist...f-the-ego/

That’s just silly.  Hammy is the exact same Hammy now, post-diagnosis, as he was pre-diagnosis, and during our many one on one conversations, he has never described himself as a victim of anything.  And believe me, he’s got shit he could use if he wanted to.

Did you read it? 

Yeah, I had those conversation with him also in the beginning, which he instigated, and he did play the victim card (paraphrase: beginning with I have no friends, will you please be my friend). It's funny how the PM's abruptly ended when I stopped feeding into his narrative.

[Little lunch]

I don't buy it small brunch.

Small Brunch?
You cheeky little bugger!  :-)