If you're an Atheist, what comforts you?

[Seraphina]

This Is How You Lose Her and Drown are also both good; they are short story collections.

Side note - I bought a book at the Berkeley book festival when I saw you and Lia called Wanderlust, A History of Walking. I'm finally reading that one at the moment too!

-Teresa

Thanks.  I just finished reading a couple of great books by John Irving, The World According to Garp and before that The Cider House Rules.  I liked them both but maybe Cider House rules a little more.  I've decided two of my main orders of business are getting to the Y more days than not and reading all the great books I can before I croak.  

By the way, I've just decided to bring my niece and a friend of hers to see Wicked in December down in L.A.  Hopefully Lia can come too so I don't get played too badly.     The same play will be in Fresno for a week in March.  Have you ever seen it?  I think your daughter and you would really enjoy seeing it together.  I guess you know it is twist on the Wizard of Oz story.

I haven't seen Wicked but a friend saw it in SF and she loved it. I like the Wizard of Oz - if I get the chance, I'll take Sofia to see it. Have fun with your niece!

-Teresa

[Whateverist]

Thanks.  I just finished reading a couple of great books by John Irving, The World According to Garp and before that The Cider House Rules.  I liked them both but maybe Cider House rules a little more.  I've decided two of my main orders of business are getting to the Y more days than not and reading all the great books I can before I croak.  

By the way, I've just decided to bring my niece and a friend of hers to see Wicked in December down in L.A.  Hopefully Lia can come too so I don't get played too badly.     The same play will be in Fresno for a week in March.  Have you ever seen it?  I think your daughter and you would really enjoy seeing it together.  I guess you know it is twist on the Wizard of Oz story.

I haven't seen Wicked but a friend saw it in SF and she loved it. I like the Wizard of Oz - if I get the chance, I'll take Sofia to see it. Have fun with your niece!

-Teresa

Oh I think the Berkeley Playhouse is doing the Wizard of Oz right now if that is of interest.  Local kids I think.  I took Tera to see Billy Madison there about a year ago.  We both liked it.

[Amarok]

The fact of my existence now and what that is now . Regardless of what comes after i have now.

[Reltzik]

Dragonfly: Your answer to these questions are going to be personal. What works for others might not work for you, and vice-versa, because we're all unique and our likes and dislikes are going to be unique as well. When it comes to short-term pick-me-ups, I'd suggest making a list, even if it's a mental one, of things that provide you with visceral comfort. Do you have favorite dinner or snack? A nice blanket that you love the feel and smell of that you can wrap around you? A favorite movie to play that lifts your spirits? Or do you find exercise works better? Playing with a pet? Talking with friends? Going out and partying? Make a list of the stuff that works for you and then work to get access to the things (or people) that make it happen. I'm the "curl up with tea, blanket, and a good movie or book" sort of person, but you might not be, so go with what works for you.

Long-term, the best sort of comfort can be to find some way to address the problems sent you looking for comfort in the first place, either by solving them or by accepting them. Again, how to do this will depend on what you're facing, and also on what counts as solving or accepting them in your book. A mix of both might be called for. With death, for example, a terminal diagnosis might inspire a search for acceptance that I or my loved one will soon be leaving, or it might inspire a fight to beat the odds, or both. For death in the abstract, I've accepted that I, and everyone I know, will most likely die in a matter of decades or sooner. I've come to value the experience of life, the act of living and having lived, the story we write with our time on the world, and even after I or my loved ones die the life they have lived will still have been lived, and will still be valuable for having been lived. But this is also something that might be solved, through medical research that could produce extreme longevity or cryogenic preservation of corpses or a host of other possibilities. I'm not holding my breath for these, but other people do seem to derive a lot of comfort in fighting that fight.

While we face different challenges that we need comfort in the face of, our emotional response the problem might also affect the nature of the comfort we need. If our reaction to some obstacle is that we are intimidated and isolated by it, having friends come in and take care of it for us could be very comforting. If instead it makes us feel helpless and powerlessness, having someone else make it go away will not leave us feeling like we are powerful. (This is true for the religious as well. Some people will be comforted by being told that their enemies will burn in hell or reincarnated as worms, while others will not feel any better for believing this.) Reflecting on the exact feelings you need comfort regarding, rather than the events producing those feelings, might point you towards the sort of comfort you need and help you avoid a lot of barking up the wrong tree.

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Rik: I can't help getting the feeling that you're proselytizing, rather than expressing genuine surprise at the unexpected agreement on meditation. But on the off chance that it's the latter, the reason is pretty simple. People who do meditation tend to find it helpful, pleasant, relaxing, or so on. (If they don't, they usually don't keep doing it.) You might think that your god is involved, while someone else might just think that meditation simply helps us order our minds and brings us calm and clarity in that manner. It's not the effect of meditation which is the point of disagreement, but rather to what we attribute that effect. In any case, given the seriousness and personal necessity that the original post implies, it might be better to move the topic to a new thread so that the OP can be responded to without distractions.

[Angrboda]

Reltzik's post reminded me of my facilitator training long ago. We learned that a crisis occurs whenever someone feels that their problems exceed their coping abilities. The thing to note is that this is subjective. It isn't necessarily that the problems are beyond your ability to cope, but it feels like a crisis when you believe the problems are beyond your ability to cope. So one way to address the anxiety and feelings associated with problems is to do things that make you feel more in control. This can be as simple as smelling something pungent like orange peel or cloves to make you feel more grounded. Or it can be something more long term such as reading books on coping strategies, or doing CBT either with a therapist or with one of the many workbook/books available. The point is to address the feeling by doing things that make you feel more in control. And it doesn't need to be aimed at the top problem either. Addressing small stresses and problems will make you feel more capable of tackling the bigger ones and put you back in control.

[robvalue]

This is someone reaching out and asking for help, maybe you could keep all your spiritual ideas in your other threads Rik?

That is a rude statement Rob.
All I did was to reply to VL.

Eventually you should have told VL to avoid asking me this type of questions.
Clearly is not your day.
Better go back to rest.  

That’s not true though, is it. You randomly inserted stuff about god and meditation into this discussion. After that, you replied to VL replying to you.

I’m not going to derail this by replying to you anymore. I don’t think it’s rude to ask people not to themselves be rude by inserting their agendas into things that don’t concern them, especially when someone is asking for help.

[brewer]

Has anybody mentioned masturbation yet?

[GrandizerII]

Freedom of thinking.

And the freedom to read and watch whatever the hell I want.

[robvalue]

Has anybody mentioned masturbation yet?

I find that to be a very useful way of relieving stress and comforting myself. Once you drop religion, you don’t have to feel guilty about it, either.

[Little Rik]

That is a rude statement Rob.
All I did was to reply to VL.

Eventually you should have told VL to avoid asking me this type of questions.
Clearly is not your day.
Better go back to rest.  

That's not a rude statement.

"Go fuck yourself, you self righteous piece of shit!" Is a rude statement.

Oh, I see.............

Backing your little mates at all cost regardless whether they are right or wrong........

Sure.....that is how moral decay creeps in........

Seen that before darl.  

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That is a rude statement Rob.
All I did was to reply to VL.

Eventually you should have told VL to avoid asking me this type of questions.
Clearly is not your day.
Better go back to rest.  

That’s not true though, is it. You randomly inserted stuff about god and meditation into this discussion. After that, you replied to VL replying to you.

I’m not going to derail this by replying to you anymore. I don’t think it’s rude to ask people not to themselves be rude by inserting their agendas into things that don’t concern them, especially when someone is asking for help.

Are you saying that your help really help while mine does not?
Where is the evidence of this?

Beside who started talking about meditation in this thread?
Not me Rob so once someone started and say things that may not be true is obvious that other people have the right to intervene.
You seem to live in a cocoon of fantasy Rob.  

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Rik:  I can't help getting the feeling that you're proselytizing, rather than expressing genuine surprise at the unexpected agreement on meditation.  But on the off chance that it's the latter, the reason is pretty simple.  People who do meditation tend to find it helpful, pleasant, relaxing, or so on.  (If they don't, they usually don't keep doing it.)  You might think that your god is involved, while someone else might just think that meditation simply helps us order our minds and brings us calm and clarity in that manner.  It's not the effect of meditation which is the point of disagreement, but rather to what we attribute that effect.  In any case, given the seriousness and personal necessity that the original post implies, it might be better to move the topic to a new thread so that the OP can be responded to without distractions.

There are different stages in meditation.
As you rightly say meditation lead to a nice feeling of peace and relaxation within but that is the first stage.
After that it lead to different stage of awareness and the final stage is something very very different from what atheists think but this is something that you guys will find out one day.
What make me intervene in this thread is not to proselytizing but rather to clear the wrong idea that meditation is all about relaxation and a bit of nice feeling.