Crowd sourcing solutions to package thievery

[The Valkyrie]

The other day, some miscreant walked off with a parcel left in plain sight by my helpful mail carrier.   Thankfully it was not a valuable package.

I'd like to exact a little revenge, or catch the miscreant on my security camera for online shaming.

(Sadly, although my security camera certainly captured the guy, at the time, I didn't subscribe to the service that kept video clips for more than a few hours.  Now I do.)

My first inclination is to leave a parcel as bait - filled with dog shit.

Let's hear your ideas.

A box full of pressurized micro glitter, that when opened, sprays forth a giant pile of impossible-to-remove glitter that self adheres to any surface it comes in contact with. 

And make sure it's gold or silver glitter so it stands out nicely.

Or pressurised ink.

Ink? That doesn't like like me at all.

I meant acid.

[Seraphina]

Pay a scary looking guy to sit in your driveway in a black SUV.
The bait box filled with dog shit would be funny but you'd have to spend too much quality time with dog shit to do that. Fill the box with anthrax or something. Or a white powder labeled "DEADLY POISON. IF HANDLED SEEK MEDICAL TREATMENT IMMEDIATELY"
Or label the box "Human Organ".

One time I had an apartment neighbor that was messing with a decoration hanging on my doorway. Every day I came home and the decoration would be crooked. I'd straighten it out and then it would be crooked again.
It wasn't worth much so I coated the back of it with a load of peanut butter. Swirled it right on.
I came back home the next day and yep, it was crooked again. With a big hand print in the peanut butter.
I saw the neighbor outside a few days later - he was some stupid punk kid in his 20s - and he gave me the side-eye. That was about 10 years ago and I still laugh about it.

-Teresa

Next time use some sort of Crazy Glue®! I love it!

Thanks for the laugh lol

-Teresa

[Fireball]

Best story (probably apocryphal) along those lines is from a guy I knew who was in the Air Force. They had an Executive Officer (XO, next down from Commanding Officer) who was a complete martinet. Barracks inspections were a nightmare, with the guy acting like a complete dick. The enlisted guys cleaned a toilet to within an inch of its life, and one of the guys squeezed a strip of creamy peanut butter into it. So, here's this floater...and the XO demands to know "Is that what I think it is?", in the toilet. One of the guys reaches in, takes it out, eats it, and says, "Yes sir, it is!" Dude turns green and walks out. I do know a guy who served in the English army who dropped a piece of candy in the gutter (loot bag from my niece's birthday party) and ate it anyway. At the time, my brother and his family lived in a pretty bad neighborhood, where a lot of needles were found around the apartment complex. That guy was pretty much a dumb shit. Note that I'm not picking on the army here, because I served in the Navy and saw similar stupid shit. How stupid was he? He hated Mexicans, so he moved to get a job in New Mexico.

[Losty]

The other day, some miscreant walked off with a parcel left in plain sight by my helpful mail carrier.   Thankfully it was not a valuable package.

I'd like to exact a little revenge, or catch the miscreant on my security camera for online shaming.

(Sadly, although my security camera certainly captured the guy, at the time, I didn't subscribe to the service that kept video clips for more than a few hours.  Now I do.)

My first inclination is to leave a parcel as bait - filled with dog shit.

Let's hear your ideas.

A box full of pressurized micro glitter, that when opened, sprays forth a giant pile of impossible-to-remove glitter that self adheres to any surface it comes in contact with. 

And make sure it's gold or silver glitter so it stands out nicely.

That’s just evil

[Joods]

A box full of pressurized micro glitter, that when opened, sprays forth a giant pile of impossible-to-remove glitter that self adheres to any surface it comes in contact with. 

And make sure it's gold or silver glitter so it stands out nicely.

That’s just evil

I know 

[Fireball]

That’s just evil

I know 

IK,R? Like that's a bad thing...

[Joods]

I know 

IK,R? Like that's a bad thing...

Glitter is the evilest thing out there. Dog poo can be washed away. But glitter? Hell no. That shit is the Antichrist. Years later, you'll still be washing glitter out of your ass crack and wondering how the hell it got there in the first place.

[Whateverist]

Let it go.

[Jackalope]

Let it go.

That's so unlikely to happen in reality that realistically I have to admit that I'm not going to.

Also I need a new hobby.

[Jackalope]

A box full of pressurized micro glitter, that when opened, sprays forth a giant pile of impossible-to-remove glitter that self adheres to any surface it comes in contact with. 

And make sure it's gold or silver glitter so it stands out nicely.

So, where might one procure a glitterbomb?