What happened to me?
July 12, 2019 at 6:37 am
(This post was last modified: July 12, 2019 at 6:41 am by robvalue.)
You can consider this a love letter to the forum, to the amazing times I had here, the friends I made, and the things I learned.
Many of you are probably wondering what the hell is wrong with me. I don’t blame you. I’m going to try and explain. If you don’t care, that’s fine.
To sum it up, I’ve had a major paradigm shift, and I’ve become an outcast and a pussy. I have been wondering why I’ve become a pussy, but I realised just this morning that it’s probably as a result of being an outcast and the treatment I’ve received because of it.
I’m going to be talking in general terms about my interactions with people; I’m not specifically talking about this forum. I’m discussing all online and offline discussions.
Imagine being an atheist in a very religious, fundamentalist town. Many of you may well have first hand experience of that. Now imagine that the rest of the world is also just as fundamentally religious, to the tune of 99% at the least. Imagine if you couldn’t speak publicly about your beliefs or experiences anywhere, except with a very few understanding people, or at specific places. If you do, you’ll get socially shunned at best, and arrested at worst.
There’s no point me even saying what the shift is, because it would be as pointless as talking about evolution in the fundamentalist town. There is about, in my experience, 0.1% of the population who know what I am talking about, and that I can openly discuss things with. There are maybe 1-2% of people who are open-minded enough to at least listen to me without freaking out or insulting me. Everyone else is either entirely uninterested or actively hostile.
I don’t entirely blame people for this. I can at least share the first step in my journey, and that is realising that the mainstream media is a propaganda engine. Most people base most of their beliefs directly on what the MSM says. It’s understandable. People don't have the time or inclination to properly research things for themselves, and when you’re sufficiently convinced you have a "reliable source" of news, you don’t even feel the need to. The first rule of any propaganda engine is to demonise anyone it doesn’t work on, just like fundamentalist religions usually demonise atheists. It also builds huge straw men about what it would even mean to not be a part of the "in group", how it would work, what the motivations are, and why it’s impossible that such people could ever be right about any of it.
This means that people simply don’t look outside the MSM on the whole, because they’ve been convinced it’s all just crazy people. There certainly are a lot of crazy people. But there’s also loads of very serious, evidence-based social/political commentators who will tell you things the MSM never will. Only by listening to both sides can you reach a balanced conclusion. The more traction someone outside the MSM gets, the more the MSM will smear them. They’re trolls, extremists, alt-right, fascists, white nationalists, racists, and so on. Almost always, these accusations are gross exaggerations at best and entirely made up at worst.
So, yeah. People are being brainwashed. I was brainwashed, for the first 41 years of my life. I had a random opportunity to investigate the fact that I might being brainwashed, which had never even occurred to me before. I took it. Most people wouldn’t. People like to think they are open minded, but in my experience, they are not. They spend most of their time trying to reaffirm what they already believe. I’m guilty of it too, but I try to always be open to anything. Ironically, a few weeks before this all started, I said to myself something like, "Of course, I could be fundamentally wrong about anything. What if I’m wrong? Well, I may not even realise there’s anything to be wrong about, and so I can’t do anything about it. But I will remain curious and open minded, and if I find evidence which contradicts what I think I know, I’ll change my beliefs accordingly." A very strange prophecy. Of course, I could be wrong now. Or crazy. I consider those options all the time, which is why I check and re-check the evidence routinely. And I mean real evidence. I don’t mean taking anyone's word for anything.
I’m not trying to be patronising. I don’t think badly of people for not believing me, or for not being interested. That’s totally fine. What the problem has been is the amount of abuse I have received. Again, I’m not talking about here specifically. It comes very fast, it’s emotionally charged, it involves using labels to shut me down (the choice method of the current PC agenda) and there is zero interest in what evidence I might have. All the focus is on me, what may be wrong with me, what my motivations may be, what has happened to me, etc; and also on the impossibility of me being right. This isn’t by accident, of course. The propaganda engine conditions people to react exactly in this way. Even so, when people I thought were friends talk to me like this, it really hurts. This is why, I think, I’ve become a pussy. I’m too paranoid that someone I care about is going to lay into me, and that’s too much for me. Some stranger talking shit about me I don’t care about. They can think whatever they want.
So, yeah. I haven’t been reading responses to my recent posts about Facebook, for the above reason, and I’ve acted that way before too. I wrote about Facebook here because I felt it was so important that it needed exposing and shutting down before it slipped through. I will be very surprised if any MSM cover the story. Why did Facebook attempt to become a rallying point for incitement of violence against people they don’t like? The fact that they retracted it due to pushback is good of course, but the fact that they tried at all is really serious. I hope people realise how serious. If it wasn’t for people following alternative media, hardly anyone would have probably found out about this in the first place and they may have gotten away with it. Big tech will try again, in another way, and soon. They keep on prodding to see what they can get away with.
I didn’t read responses like I say, so I apologise if I’ve missed things. I'm not trying to be rude, I’m just a pussy, which is why I’ve encouraged people to PM me of late. On the whole, I get very very few, so it’s apparent there’s little interest in what I have to say. That’s fine. But I wanted to write this anyway, as the forum meant a lot to me and there are a lot of really good people here.
Imagine how much your views on things change after realising religion is bullshit. A lot, I expect. It makes conversation with fundamental theists potentially very difficult. I experience the same thing. My views have changed, to a smaller or larger degree, on such a wide variety of subjects, so that it’s really hard to talk to people, even casually. All I can do is put on the face of a normie, or talk about unimportant things.
This makes me an outcast, to a degree. Obviously it’s not like I’ve been shunned from my community (although I have been from some online ones). If I started talking honestly about almost any subject frequently though, I’d be very quickly dismissed and labelled as all sorts of things.
Again, I’m not going to read replies here because I’m a pussy. I will continue to check my PMs, if anyone has anything polite to say. I don’t expect any response though. This was just a pouring out of my heart, as I feel there might be at least a few people who might be genuinely interested in why I’m so different. It’s a bit like realising that a person you trusted all your life has actually been slowly poisoning you.
The question on no-one's lips is this: have I managed to "deprogram" anyone? Well, I don’t actively go after anyone. I tried posting and discussing on forums about various things, but it just doesn’t work. It becomes me-versus-everyone, and that’s a lot to handle, even if I wasn’t emotionally fragile. I’ve had a few private conversations with people who were interested or at least prepared to listen. Out of those, I’ve deprogrammed no one. They either already knew that a lot of what I’m saying is true, or they’ve remained unconvinced that there’s any validity to what I’m saying. There is one person who I feel is on the fence, and who I think has the opportunity to also become deprogrammed. I’ll have to wait and see there. Many people have made it clear they don't want to know, even if I’m right.
Thanks so much to anyone who made it to the end of this pile of dogshit. It really pains me to be unable to properly interact here (or anywhere) anymore. Take care you guys.
Many of you are probably wondering what the hell is wrong with me. I don’t blame you. I’m going to try and explain. If you don’t care, that’s fine.
To sum it up, I’ve had a major paradigm shift, and I’ve become an outcast and a pussy. I have been wondering why I’ve become a pussy, but I realised just this morning that it’s probably as a result of being an outcast and the treatment I’ve received because of it.
I’m going to be talking in general terms about my interactions with people; I’m not specifically talking about this forum. I’m discussing all online and offline discussions.
Imagine being an atheist in a very religious, fundamentalist town. Many of you may well have first hand experience of that. Now imagine that the rest of the world is also just as fundamentally religious, to the tune of 99% at the least. Imagine if you couldn’t speak publicly about your beliefs or experiences anywhere, except with a very few understanding people, or at specific places. If you do, you’ll get socially shunned at best, and arrested at worst.
There’s no point me even saying what the shift is, because it would be as pointless as talking about evolution in the fundamentalist town. There is about, in my experience, 0.1% of the population who know what I am talking about, and that I can openly discuss things with. There are maybe 1-2% of people who are open-minded enough to at least listen to me without freaking out or insulting me. Everyone else is either entirely uninterested or actively hostile.
I don’t entirely blame people for this. I can at least share the first step in my journey, and that is realising that the mainstream media is a propaganda engine. Most people base most of their beliefs directly on what the MSM says. It’s understandable. People don't have the time or inclination to properly research things for themselves, and when you’re sufficiently convinced you have a "reliable source" of news, you don’t even feel the need to. The first rule of any propaganda engine is to demonise anyone it doesn’t work on, just like fundamentalist religions usually demonise atheists. It also builds huge straw men about what it would even mean to not be a part of the "in group", how it would work, what the motivations are, and why it’s impossible that such people could ever be right about any of it.
This means that people simply don’t look outside the MSM on the whole, because they’ve been convinced it’s all just crazy people. There certainly are a lot of crazy people. But there’s also loads of very serious, evidence-based social/political commentators who will tell you things the MSM never will. Only by listening to both sides can you reach a balanced conclusion. The more traction someone outside the MSM gets, the more the MSM will smear them. They’re trolls, extremists, alt-right, fascists, white nationalists, racists, and so on. Almost always, these accusations are gross exaggerations at best and entirely made up at worst.
So, yeah. People are being brainwashed. I was brainwashed, for the first 41 years of my life. I had a random opportunity to investigate the fact that I might being brainwashed, which had never even occurred to me before. I took it. Most people wouldn’t. People like to think they are open minded, but in my experience, they are not. They spend most of their time trying to reaffirm what they already believe. I’m guilty of it too, but I try to always be open to anything. Ironically, a few weeks before this all started, I said to myself something like, "Of course, I could be fundamentally wrong about anything. What if I’m wrong? Well, I may not even realise there’s anything to be wrong about, and so I can’t do anything about it. But I will remain curious and open minded, and if I find evidence which contradicts what I think I know, I’ll change my beliefs accordingly." A very strange prophecy. Of course, I could be wrong now. Or crazy. I consider those options all the time, which is why I check and re-check the evidence routinely. And I mean real evidence. I don’t mean taking anyone's word for anything.
I’m not trying to be patronising. I don’t think badly of people for not believing me, or for not being interested. That’s totally fine. What the problem has been is the amount of abuse I have received. Again, I’m not talking about here specifically. It comes very fast, it’s emotionally charged, it involves using labels to shut me down (the choice method of the current PC agenda) and there is zero interest in what evidence I might have. All the focus is on me, what may be wrong with me, what my motivations may be, what has happened to me, etc; and also on the impossibility of me being right. This isn’t by accident, of course. The propaganda engine conditions people to react exactly in this way. Even so, when people I thought were friends talk to me like this, it really hurts. This is why, I think, I’ve become a pussy. I’m too paranoid that someone I care about is going to lay into me, and that’s too much for me. Some stranger talking shit about me I don’t care about. They can think whatever they want.
So, yeah. I haven’t been reading responses to my recent posts about Facebook, for the above reason, and I’ve acted that way before too. I wrote about Facebook here because I felt it was so important that it needed exposing and shutting down before it slipped through. I will be very surprised if any MSM cover the story. Why did Facebook attempt to become a rallying point for incitement of violence against people they don’t like? The fact that they retracted it due to pushback is good of course, but the fact that they tried at all is really serious. I hope people realise how serious. If it wasn’t for people following alternative media, hardly anyone would have probably found out about this in the first place and they may have gotten away with it. Big tech will try again, in another way, and soon. They keep on prodding to see what they can get away with.
I didn’t read responses like I say, so I apologise if I’ve missed things. I'm not trying to be rude, I’m just a pussy, which is why I’ve encouraged people to PM me of late. On the whole, I get very very few, so it’s apparent there’s little interest in what I have to say. That’s fine. But I wanted to write this anyway, as the forum meant a lot to me and there are a lot of really good people here.
Imagine how much your views on things change after realising religion is bullshit. A lot, I expect. It makes conversation with fundamental theists potentially very difficult. I experience the same thing. My views have changed, to a smaller or larger degree, on such a wide variety of subjects, so that it’s really hard to talk to people, even casually. All I can do is put on the face of a normie, or talk about unimportant things.
This makes me an outcast, to a degree. Obviously it’s not like I’ve been shunned from my community (although I have been from some online ones). If I started talking honestly about almost any subject frequently though, I’d be very quickly dismissed and labelled as all sorts of things.
Again, I’m not going to read replies here because I’m a pussy. I will continue to check my PMs, if anyone has anything polite to say. I don’t expect any response though. This was just a pouring out of my heart, as I feel there might be at least a few people who might be genuinely interested in why I’m so different. It’s a bit like realising that a person you trusted all your life has actually been slowly poisoning you.
The question on no-one's lips is this: have I managed to "deprogram" anyone? Well, I don’t actively go after anyone. I tried posting and discussing on forums about various things, but it just doesn’t work. It becomes me-versus-everyone, and that’s a lot to handle, even if I wasn’t emotionally fragile. I’ve had a few private conversations with people who were interested or at least prepared to listen. Out of those, I’ve deprogrammed no one. They either already knew that a lot of what I’m saying is true, or they’ve remained unconvinced that there’s any validity to what I’m saying. There is one person who I feel is on the fence, and who I think has the opportunity to also become deprogrammed. I’ll have to wait and see there. Many people have made it clear they don't want to know, even if I’m right.
Thanks so much to anyone who made it to the end of this pile of dogshit. It really pains me to be unable to properly interact here (or anywhere) anymore. Take care you guys.
Feel free to send me a private message.
Please visit my website here! It's got lots of information about atheism/theism and support for new atheists.
Index of useful threads and discussions
Index of my best videos
Quickstart guide to the forum
Please visit my website here! It's got lots of information about atheism/theism and support for new atheists.
Index of useful threads and discussions
Index of my best videos
Quickstart guide to the forum
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