what Does it Meam to be InLove?

[Brian37]

Two guys have told me they loved me but weren’t in love with me. Why is it necessary to be in love? What does being in love do for a relationship? Even though these guys claimed they weren’t in love with me, I couldn’t see what was missing in the relationships I had with them.

"Love" isn't a simple word. I love the NFL, but fucking hate the corporate ads they are now projecting on the field.

I love my cat, but have no desire to have sex with my cat.

I love my late mother, to the point with her mobility problems, I would help her go to the bathroom, and even shower and clean her when she soiled herself. 

If they say they love you, but are not in love with you, they merely mean you are only friend material.

Love of a hobby or pet, or loved one, is not the same as love of someone you really want to have a relationship with like boyfriend and girlfriend or husband and wife. 

I can say however, I had far too many merely physical attractions in my teens and early 20s I did confuse for romantic love. I look back at that now and know it was just my hormones.

Point is, you cant force anyone to romantically love you. I stupidly in my youth thought that by merely being attracted to them, they had some obligation to feel the same. If romance worked like that, I would have married the first female I found attractive.  Ann McCarthy the cheerleader I pined after was actually scared away by my pining.

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Romantically, the only person I was in love with was my X Wife. I really wish it had worked out, but people change over time. I hold no ill will to her leaving me. I simply value the time I had while we were together.

[LastPoet]

In love, there is a fire of desire, there is care about your loved one. I am a man so its 83% sex, 16% cuddling and the one percent, going shopping with her.

[Athene]

Hmm...Well, I define love as the willingness to sacrifice. 
The sensation of being "in love" pretty much comes down hormones/brain chemistry, I believe. Quite real as a state, of course---but it's generally transient or fleeting.

I imagine most reasonably mature individuals recognize that it's not necessary to be in love with someone in order to love them.

What can it bring to a relationship, though? Thrill, excitement, anticipation, drama.
The chemical responses are conducive to sexual intensity as well.

Some people, who DO understand the difference, prefer partners with whom they are capable of receiving that "high" in the early stages/on a sometimes basis, because they feel it enriches their relationships and lives on general. 

That's my take on the matter. I'm no expert, though.

[Brian37]

In love, there is a fire of desire, there is care about your loved one. I am a man so its 83% sex, 16% cuddling and the one percent, going shopping with her.

So it isn't all about the "money shot"? 

Old timers know what that means in porn.

[BrianSoddingBoru4]

In love, there is a fire of desire, there is care about your loved one. I am a man so its 83% sex, 16% cuddling and the one percent, going shopping with her.

One percent??  You're a catch, you are.

Boru

[Brian37]

The average male/female has 2 to 5 partners in a lifetime, and far more failures at initial meetups before they reach a  long term relationship. Very few romantic relationships last a lifetime.  Some do, but most do not.

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Humans, both male and female are not suited to monogamy as far as evolution. It is not to say we should fuck and have pubic orgies at will. It is to say our species seeks diversity in genes. It is a myth that men "cheat" on women more than women "cheat" on men. The reality is split even.

The moral reason to limit your partnership isn't about religion, but risk to unwanted pregnancy and or disease. The real immorality about affairs isn't the sex, but the lying. If one does not feel the same way about a partner, they should come out and say it up front, rather than make things worse by juggling an act.

[Rhondazvous]

In love, there is a fire of desire, there is care about your loved one. I am a man so its 83% sex, 16% cuddling and the one percent, going shopping with her.

One percent??  You're a catch, you are.

Boru

one percent would be enough for me. When I was married, I had to tell my husband I'm your wife, not your Siamese twin. Maybe that means I'm not capable of being in plove, but I just never met anyone with a face I wanted to look at 24/7/365. A guy might have the most gorgeous face god's got, but ggimme a chance to miss you is all I'm saying.

[Gawdzilla Sama]

I never felt like I loved anyone until I met my first wife, when I was in my mid-30s.

[AFTT47]

Humans, both male and female are not suited to monogamy as far as evolution. It is not to say we should fuck and have pubic orgies at will. It is to say our species seeks diversity in genes. It is a myth that men "cheat" on women more than women "cheat" on men. The reality is split even.

I think we're too complicated too. Our wants and desires are many, what we prioritize will change over time. Not to say that the "forever" relationship isn't possible but it certainly shouldn't be thought of as the norm.

[The Grand Nudger]

.....surrounded by doe-eyed romantics.......