‘Submitting to my husband like it's 1959': Why I became a #TradWife

[The Grand Nudger]

Is the junkies satisfaction the basis for identifying a positive result when he takes a hit?

No more or less so than the successful resolution of dissonance to a state of calm or peace is the basis for identifying a positive result in their lives. It's not at all uncommon for the conceptual item to be destructive and mal-adapted. Resolving dissonance is about feeling better, not being better.

It's a super interesting subject - but it doesn't have much to do with the tradwife bit. Again, it's an astroturf campaign. The woman in the OP is a vendor selling on-brand products. There is no growing movement of women at a grassroots level pushing this bullshit. That's ad copy.

[tackattack]

I disagree I believe resolving dissonance is about being better, not just feeling better. I will concede that a successful resolution can have many parts (ie. the instant feeling, the long term gains, etc.). And you are correct that some perceived success can be mal-adaptive and destructive. I does play a part in what editz said and Rev chimed in on. If someone's happier playing a role they're comfortable in, more power to them. It's not my place to say that it's mal-adaptive, as long as it's not self destructive or hurting anyone.

[The Grand Nudger]

Place...? WTF? We can call mal-adaptive things mal-adaptive......and the thing that this astroturf campaign is shilling for does hurt people.

[Figbash]

These marriages become an issue once children are involved, especially female children (or gay children).
Limiting their exposure to education, forcing a lifestyle upon them, limiting their life choices and ability to provide for themselves...

See: Duggars

[tackattack]

Sure you can see and identify what's maladaptive at a societal or environmental level. You can even resort to the tribalism techniques of .. all those X have fucked up Y But if we bring it down to the situational level where it's your life choices and theirs, I won't say was maladapted because if it's helping you cope it's usually better, caveat for obvious illegal or destructive factoring).

Ok so how does choosing to be a particular flavor of wife hurt people?

[The Grand Nudger]

We're not having the same conversation. I have no intention of playing along with the fiction of a tradwife movement. There are certainly men and women who feel more comfortable in traditional roles - and people choose whichever role they prefer (when they can). The one thing has nothing to do with the other, except in it's utility as social cover and leverage for propaganda.

The tradwife movement is an astroturf campaign, the person in the OP is not a traditional wife, she plays one for fun and profit. The movement they're shilling for is immensely destructive, not just as a societal ill that makes people feel bad..but with a cost of actual human lives.

[Rev. Rye]

Norm - A standard generally expected (or de facto required) in a group or society.
Heteronormative - Related to a worldview that promotes heterosexuality as the preferred sexual orientation.
Oppressive- unjustly inflicting hardship and constraint, especially on a minority or other subordinate group.

So, generally, it involves trying to railroad gay/trans people into standards of behaviour that are contrary to their nature. This might not be so bad if it's pedophilia we're talking about, but something that's mostly harmless like gay or transgender life, it is a problem.

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In case anyone asks why I call LGBT mostly harmless, well:

And, yes, I do put heterosexuality in the same category, because it's not immune to shit like this, either, and has had an easier time of getting away with it historically.

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[Duty]

It occurs to me now that this might be (sometimes) a reaction to internalised homophobia/transphobia - you know, many suffer from paranoid nagging doubts of that ilk regarding their identity because they're "just not happy." Returning to archaic gender roles might provide a "safe" feeling RE that stuff.

Baloney. My eldest is trans and I have no problem at all with it. He single handedly got the bit between his teeth and changed the dress code in his all girl school. And I was cheering him on. Frankly, his single minded determination puts me to shame, and I am no slouch.

Governor of Tavistock Foundation quits over damning report into gender identity clinic

In his report, which was submitted to the trust’s board earlier this month and whose findings were first reported in the  last year, Bell expressed concern that the service was failing to fully consider psychological and social factors in a young person’s background – such as whether they had been abused, suffered a bereavement or had autism – which might influence their decision to transition....“I do not believe we understand what is going on in this complex area and the need to adopt an attitude which examines things from different points of view is essential. This is difficult in the current environment as the debate and discussion required is continually being closed down or effectively described as ‘transphobic’ or in some way prejudicial.”

Being a skeptical sort, I'm frankly reluctant to think it is possible to be "born in the wrong body." I am witness to the fact however that there is no limit to human error, as evinced by the existence of fundamentalist believing flat-earthers and Scientologists, for example.

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RE the "getting the bit between his teeth and proceeding with awe inspiring levels of single minded determination" - there's always the Dunning-Kruger Effect to be considered. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Dunning%E2%...ger_effect

[Shell B]

If you're into it, great, but don't make statements like "A woman's place is in the home." She may have found her place, but telling other women where their place is crosses a line. I feel the same way about women telling other women traditional roles are bad. A woman doing whatever the fuck she wants to do is a good thing.

[Duty]

That's very much what the women in the video said Shell B - that true feminism is about choice, and if a women chooses to live in a relationship where the man very much :grimace: wears the trousers then that's all good.