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Mother-in-law
#1
Mother-in-law
Something's been bothering me for the past week or so, and I guess I just need to vent a little to people who can understand where I'm coming from.

One night last week my wife & I went over to her folks to visit. Her mother, sister, and sister's husband were there watching the end of "The Passion of the Christ" when we arrived. I didn't say a word, but made sure my 2-year-old son stayed in the other room watching kid's shows while the more gruesome parts of "Passion" were on screen.

Anyway, at the end of the movie, my very devoutly and fundie Catholic mother-in-law said something about getting out some other Jesus movie, and I jokingly said, "I've got 'The Life of Brian.'" Well I didn't know it but she took great offense at that, to which my wife told me that I should apologize. So I went out to where my mother-in-law was and apologized for the comment but that I didn't mean any offense. She was upset that I am still an atheist after nearly a year ago she asked me if I would go talk to the local priest, which I said I would some time but never did. Apparently she takes offense that I have my mind made up about atheism and believes that I need to keep searching for answers. She was asking me different things about what I believe and then reacting with disgust when I told her. But the only reason I ever agreed to go talk to the priest was because I felt pressured into it. I have my mind made up and unless he has this mysterious absolute proof for God's existence, there's no reason to talk to him.

I did tell her that it's not my fault that she's uncomfortable with her belief that I'm going to end up in Hell. I don't believe in such a place, so I'm not worried about it. If she's worried about that, then maybe she needs to examine her own beliefs. And basically why would I want to worship a being that threatens to send me to such a place? She also brought up a few other Christian beliefs which I refuted, such as the rapture which I told her wasn't in the bible, but she claimed it was in Revelation. I've read the entire book of Revelation and it is not in there. That's when she brought up the "You just need to talk to someone more knowledgeable about it than me." I probably should have then played the "if you don't know that much about your religion, then why should I follow it?" card. I know she hasn't read the bible.

So because I did say that I'd go talk to the priest some time (though I never said when), I feel like I need to just go and get it out of the way. But it's not easy because I work 10 1/2 hours a day and unless he wants to chat some evening it's hard for me to find time to do it. Nor do I consider it a priority. I don't see why it's incumbent upon me to keep talking to people until my beliefs get aligned with theirs.

I think one of the things which really pissed me off was that she was chiding me for having my mind made up, when she is the most close-minded individual I've ever met. Anyone who knows me knows that hypocrisy is one thing I can't stand in a person. But it's as if my atheist beliefs just don't matter and I should continue to respect her beliefs while she scoffs at mine.

So anyway, it's something that's been bothering me. Only way I want to really talk to the priest is if he shares some of his homebrew beer with me.
Christian apologetics is the art of rolling a dog turd in sugar and selling it as a donut.
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#2
RE: Mother-in-law
Fuck her. You're a grown adult.

I mean, that's disrespectful in a way, I guess - that's your wife's mother - but unless your wife is having major problems with your atheism...who gives a shit what her mother thinks?

[Image: Untitled2_zpswaosccbr.png]
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#3
RE: Mother-in-law
Just stand with your back against the wall so the priest can't get near your asshole.


You can never trust those guys.
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#4
RE: Mother-in-law
Doubting Thomas Wrote:I think one of the things which really pissed me off was that she was chiding me for having my mind made up...

She's not chiding you for having your mind made up, she's chiding for not having your mind made up for Jesus.

I also say fuck her, and you should avoid the preist. He won't change your mind and it will only make for an uncomfortable situation.
Even if the open windows of science at first make us shiver after the cozy indoor warmth of traditional humanizing myths, in the end the fresh air brings vigor, and the great spaces have a splendor of their own - Bertrand Russell
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#5
RE: Mother-in-law
The problem is that it's a small town of close-minded religious conservatives, so I really don't need everyone to know that I'm an atheist. Not that I expect the priest to go around telling everyone, but you know how news just happens to spread in a small town.
Christian apologetics is the art of rolling a dog turd in sugar and selling it as a donut.
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#6
RE: Mother-in-law
(March 14, 2012 at 2:19 pm)Doubting Thomas Wrote: The problem is that it's a small town of close-minded religious conservatives, so I really don't need everyone to know that I'm an atheist. Not that I expect the priest to go around telling everyone, but you know how news just happens to spread in a small town.


IF it bothers you ,and you cannot or will not change and she keeps sniping the only viable option is to move.


Perhaps mention this to your mother in law. (then she will not see her daughter or grandchildren)

I doubt she would grasp the notion that you have no obligation to meet her expectations.

I don't suppose it's possible to get he priest on YOUR side? Or is he as ignorant and stupid as your ma law seems?

Of course ,you can always tell her to mind her own business. I did,to mine,more than once.
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#7
RE: Mother-in-law
I don't know. The priest wants Santorum as president, so I'm not too hopeful. Frankly, though, I really think she is the one who needs to go talk to him because it's HER belief about me burning in hell that she's uncomfortable with, and he is HER spiritual leader, not mine.

Oh well, some time when I get around to it I'll think about calling him up to just talk. But only once. If she's not happy with me not turning religious again after I talk to him, then tough shit.
Christian apologetics is the art of rolling a dog turd in sugar and selling it as a donut.
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#8
RE: Mother-in-law
Thomas .... do not doubt.

You are in the clear ... and they are trying to trap you in the age old trap. Personally I would have NEVER appologized to her. You did because you thought you were in an odd situation. But you were not.

First,.... next time you see her,... you may ask her if she has ever seen "the life of Brian"... Its a great movie and I know many believers who like it. If she never see it,... then the fundation for your appolgy crumbles.... Because why should you appologize when she doesntr know what she is talkingabout anyway? In that case she took it on faith its a horriblemovie without ever seeing it.

Second,... why should you appologize at all? Does any religion hold some special magic that at the moment it is insulted we should appologize? EXCUSE ME? Atheism gets insulted all the time.... I think Religious folks should appologize to us atheists.

It is an abomination for atheists that religions are protected in MANY countries around the world in their constitutions. Religious folks get all the protection..... but atheists do not?

Yeah atheism is not a religion,... but we should get the same protection by law,... yet we do not. How am I to get protection if the gov decides to build a church or a mosque at my doorstep?.... a ridiculous example sure... but an example. Did you know that in the islamic capital mecca only muslims are allowed? If you are not a muslim,... you cant go there.

Next time your mother in law visits your house,... make sure you have a non religious movie running... I cant think of one so quickly,.... but your mother in law is full with shit.

YOU SHOULD NEVER APPOLOGIZE for your conviction. It is your mother in law who should be appologizing.... not you.
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#9
RE: Mother-in-law
Quote:I don't know. The priest wants Santorum as president


Then fuck all of them.

Buy an Obama t-shirt while you're at it.
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#10
RE: Mother-in-law
(March 14, 2012 at 8:56 pm)Doubting Thomas Wrote: I don't know. The priest wants Santorum as president, so I'm not too hopeful. Frankly, though, I really think she is the one who needs to go talk to him because it's HER belief about me burning in hell that she's uncomfortable with, and he is HER spiritual leader, not mine.

Oh well, some time when I get around to it I'll think about calling him up to just talk. But only once. If she's not happy with me not turning religious again after I talk to him, then tough shit.

See that most gave you advice that will make life harder for you and your wife, what will it hurt to talk to the priest, once done the problem should be out of the way, correct. Ask your mother-in law if that will satisfy her before you go, if she says no then work out a peace agreement with her, think about your wife in this situation. You should understand her (mother-in law) concern about hell, it is a very real part of her love for others. By the way I have never heard of a Catholic that believes in the rapture, do you know where she got that idea?
God loves those who believe and those who do not and the same goes for me, you have no choice in this matter. That puts the matter of total free will to rest.
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