New atheist who lost my father today

[Jugsmcgee]

Hey there,

I'm a recently realized atheist, within the last two months, and today my father died suddenly at age 67. I have no desire to pray. My family decided to have a priest come In and read him his last rights, which brought some comfort to a couple of my family members. The priest was a nice man, with a genuine heart and concern for our family, which I really appreciated. I do feel grateful that I have found myself to be an atheist before this happened. I have, thus far, been able to accept my father's death in a much more tolerable way than if I had believed in god. If I believed, Imagine I would have a lot more anger and a lot more questions as to why a loving god would have taken my father so soon. At this moment, though still in shock, with a broken heart, I am a grateful and proud, yet devastated atheist.

[Tempus]

I'm sorry to hear about your father's death. Welcome to the forum, hope you enjoy it here.

[Brian37]

Hey there,

I'm a recently realized atheist, within the last two months, and today my father died suddenly at age 67. I have no desire to pray. My family decided to have a priest come In and read him his last rights, which brought some comfort to a couple of my family members. The priest was a nice man, with a genuine heart and concern for our family, which I really appreciated. I do feel grateful that I have found myself to be an atheist before this happened. I have, thus far, been able to accept my father's death in a much more tolerable way than if I had believed in god. If I believed, Imagine I would have a lot more anger and a lot more questions as to why a loving god would have taken my father so soon. At this moment, though still in shock, with a broken heart, I am a grateful and proud, yet devastated atheist.

Sorry about your loss. I lost my dad at 13.

Believers do not want to see life as it is. Death is an unfortunate, but quite mundane and natural part of all of biological evolution. All plants, insects, animals, and humans die.

But in your pain, remember, your anger isn't at any real god, but the claim of a god a person makes that their claimed diety is all good and all loving and all powerful. Epicurus addresses this broken concept in "The problem with evil".

I had a friend who was an atheist who served in WW2, was an atheist then and died almost 10 years ago. We knew he was dying. He knew he was dying. A bunch of Unitarians, of the church he attended, mixed beliefs, went to visit him. I took a huge risk in making a joke when we got there "Let us pray", Ben, they dying guy, and even the believers cracked up because of his atheism. It was nice to see him smile knowing what he was about to face.

So I know it never ultimately brings comfort, but you are better off facing reality than believing in utopias.

Just know that you had the time you had with him and he will survive in your brain as long as you are alive, and you can comfort yourself somewhat with the memories of the good times.

My mom has a phrase on a piece of paper on her desk, "Don't cry because it is over, smile because it happened". You are going to cry, don't ignore that, but think about all the good as well.

Hope that helps somewhat.

[Faith No More]

I'm sorry about your loss.

One of the hardest parts of life is coping with the fact that bad, random shit happens that we have no control over. Because of this we have to cherish the time with our loved ones we had and not dwell on the time of which we were robbed.

[LastPoet]

Sorry for your loss.

I think its ok to feel bad, just don't linger much in the sadness. We are all just finite beings, and you have the memories of him.

[Abu Taj al Deen]

Hey - sorry to hear about your loss, Jugsmcgee.
Welcome to the forums.

[Skepsis]

It saddens me to hear your father recently passed away- I don't think I could bear it nearly as well as you. I'm not emotional when it comes to the typical "sad" experiences, like sad movies or books or the like, but it all pours out when I lose something I love.
Welcome.

[KichigaiNeko]

Jugs

My sympathy for the loss of your Dad. 67 isn't THAT young...it just seems that way. He will not really be gone as long as you remember him mate, hang on to that.

Many Ministers/ Priests are good people even with their god....or in-spite of their god

[Annik]

-Internet Hug-

I'm sorry for your loss. It's not easy, but I'm sure your father loved you and he knew you loved him.

[Jugsmcgee]

Thank you for the warm welcome, everyone. I appreciate the kind words, especially considering they're lacking of the usual bullshit phrases people mutter off to try to make you feel better. "He's in a better place now", "He's watching over you", and the like really just don't do anything except make me roll my eyes. I do respect and appreciate, however, the intent behind that sort of talk, as I know people are just trying to be loving and supportive.
Man, does this suck.