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Does God have a penis?
February 13, 2013 at 12:07 am
(This post was last modified: February 13, 2013 at 12:14 am by Tea Earl Grey Hot.)
Apparently according to most Christians, if you have a penis, you're male and should be called that no matter how much you may wish to be recognized as the other gender.
God is referred to as a man, and there are many Christians who will insist on maintaining that description against some liberal Christian's attempts to gender neutralize God. Does this mean God has a penis?
If he doesn't have a penis and his gender is just metaphorical, why is it he can be thought of as a male despite his lack of a penis but a person can't be thought of as female if they don't have a vagina?
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"The lord doesn't work in mysterious ways, but in ways that are indistinguishable from his nonexistence."
-- George Yorgo Veenhuyzen quoted by John W. Loftus in The End of Christianity (p. 103).
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RE: Does God have a penis?
February 13, 2013 at 12:11 am
I don't know if he has a penis but sure is good at fucking people...
"Two things are infinite: the universe and human stupidity; and I'm not sure about the universe." -Einstein
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RE: Does God have a penis?
February 13, 2013 at 12:11 am
(February 13, 2013 at 12:07 am)teaearlgreyhot Wrote: Apparently according to most Christians, if you have a penis, you're male and should be called that no matter how much you may wish to be recognized as the other gender.
God is referred to as a man, and there are many Christians who will insist on maintaining that description against some liberal Christian's attempts to gender neutralize God. Does this mean God has a penis?
If he doesn't have a penis and his gender is just metaphorical, why is it he can be thought of as a male despite his lack of a penis but person can't be thought as female if they don't have a vagina?
I've heard a few Christians say that god has a holy penis which is beyond comprehension and has some sort of mystical, second function instead of the biological one that organic penises have.
What falls away is always, and is near.
Also, I am not pretending to be female, this profile picture is my wonderful girlfriend. XD
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RE: Does God have a penis?
February 13, 2013 at 12:22 am
Does god need to take a piss in the morning after drinking too much the night before?????
Do trolls enjoy anal sex?
Do unichorns like rimming?
Do dragons suck cock?
Have I creept you out? 
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RE: Does God have a penis?
February 13, 2013 at 12:22 am
He doesn't need a penis cause he's a DICK! 
"Two things are infinite: the universe and human stupidity; and I'm not sure about the universe." -Einstein
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RE: Does God have a penis?
February 13, 2013 at 2:01 am
(This post was last modified: February 13, 2013 at 2:03 am by Aegrus.)
(February 13, 2013 at 12:22 am)The Germans are coming Wrote: Does god need to take a piss in the morning after drinking too much the night before?????
Do trolls enjoy anal sex?
Do unichorns like rimming?
Do dragons suck cock?
Have I creept you out?
Not at all, good sir. These are all highly relevant issues to today's society, and deserve careful consideration. Unicorns, especially, have been experiencing serious discrimination lately, mostly from atheist bigots who seek to relegate them to the mythical status of deities or fairies.
. . .
 I just couldn't keep a straight face for any longer.
What falls away is always, and is near.
Also, I am not pretending to be female, this profile picture is my wonderful girlfriend. XD
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RE: Does God have a penis?
February 13, 2013 at 4:41 am
If I remember correctly, one of our bishops were of the opinion that God ejaculated the world. Fancy that.
When I was young, there was a god with infinite power protecting me. Is there anyone else who felt that way? And was sure about it? but the first time I fell in love, I was thrown down - or maybe I broke free - and I bade farewell to God and became human. Now I don't have God's protection, and I walk on the ground without wings, but I don't regret this hardship. I want to live as a person. -Arina Tanemura
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RE: Does God have a penis?
February 13, 2013 at 6:38 am
Human-centric religious institutions... gods sometimes have dicks. Depends on which plane they're on.
Virgin airlines has the most dicks onboard its flights.
Please give me a home where cloud buffalo roam
Where the dear and the strangers can play
Where sometimes is heard a discouraging word
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RE: Does God have a penis?
February 13, 2013 at 8:30 am
(February 13, 2013 at 12:11 am)Baalzebutt Wrote: he sure is good at fucking people... Nah, actually he's barely adequate. But like most men, he really needs the validation... As must be painfully obvious by his demand that he be constantly pleased and praised, under pain of eternal suffering.
If he were a man, we should've ditched him ages ago.
But the eternal dilemma - how can we be happy amid the unhappiness of others?
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RE: Does God have a penis?
February 13, 2013 at 8:39 am
And then what about the devil? She MUST be a woman! Evil bitch!
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