Do you believe in cheating?

[Angrboda]

You're very vague with your terms. Cheating in an open relationship is an oxymoron, so I suspect you didn't ask your question properly, or perhaps, you intended the ambiguity so that you could use it to advantage in the discussion.

I think that when you say cheating in a relationship, most people automatically think of a committed, monogamous relationship, as that is the most common kind of sexual or romantic relationship referred to by the word "relationship" here in the Western world. Like any other moral in human cultures, the ethics likely reflect evolutionary realities, and feelings of right and wrong have developed to reinforce behaviors. In a committed monogamous relationship, especially one such as a marriage, you see a perfect storm of evolved psychological mechanisms, all of which are "designed" to maximize the reproductive potential of the individual's genes. There's reciprocal altruism and tit for tat, including a constellation of social behaviors designed to make cooperation more successful than defection. There is sex itself, which results in hormonal storms in the brains of both partners, giving them incentive toward pairing and social behaviors. There are the hormonal and social effects of having babies (which follows from having sex) which encourages monogamous, stable bonding, so that any offspring have the best chance of survival. And there are the rituals, which cement social roles and are held in place by incentives and sanctions.

So, while it may be true that cheating is ethically wrong, cheating is discouraged at many levels because in the context of a social species which practices K-selection reproductive strategies (few offspring, heavy investment), cheating and behaviors that give rise to or enable cheating directly threaten reproductive fitness, so many mechanisms from cognitive to hormonal ally against such behaviors.

[Whateverist]

i would never cheat.

Why, is it against your morals? Wait ..

[My imaginary friend is GOD]

The title of this thread is stupid.

[Jackalope]

this thread is stupid.

Fixed that for you. :p

[dazzn]

i would never cheat.

Why, is it against your morals? Wait ..

People contradict. and?

[littleendian]

I don't get why it's wrong to cheat in relationships.

is it only people who see things in black and white terms who determine this?

I guess you could reduce this to biology, at least historically it took quite a big investment to get a child through to adulthood, so the task probably required both parents to be successful. At least for the man the biological investment in a pregnancy is pretty low, they could potentially have as many children as partners, so they have some incentive (evolutionary speaking) to just mate with as many partners as possible. I guess the incentive for women to cheat may be to have a genetically superior partner who wouldn't invest in the upbringing of her child and then have an unsuspecting inferior male specimen raise the child with her...

However, since what matters in evolution is not the number of dead babies but the number of children making it to puberty, this creates a tension. One could argue that this selected people with some scruples to cheat but who nonetheless might consider it or act on it occasionally...

That's just what came to my mind, feel free to rip this apart if it makes no sense.

[Angrboda]

I guess you could reduce this to biology, at least historically it took quite a big investment to get a child through to adulthood, so the task probably required both parents to be successful.

If I recall correctly, it did require a village to raise a child. If memory serves, there is evidence of multiple parenting in primitive societies in which kin would assist in the care of offspring, thus allowing members to be more productive overall and resulting in better parenting of the children. I'm also reminded of things like sleeping patterns and infant behavior which also play into the mix, with things like infant crying exerting enormous emotional effects on people who might be involved in the raising of the offspring. (Simply watching how adults respond to the presence of a baby, the games, the silly faces, and so on, demonstrate that the adaptations aren't all in the parent's behavior.)


(There's a special name for that type of parenting. Unfortunately I'm rearranging my bookshelves and am unable to track down the relevant material.)

In the weeks before birth, researchers have found, fathers have a 20% rise in their level of prolactin, the nurturing and lactation hormone. At the same time, their level of the stress hormone cortisol doubles, increasing sensitivity and alertness. Then, in the first weeks after birth, men's testosterone plummets by a third, while their estrogen level climbs higher than usual. These hormone changes prime their brains for emotionally bonding with their helpless little offspring. Men with lower testosterone levels actually hear the cries of babies better. They don't hear quite as well as moms, however, when babies whimper, for example, fathers are slower than mothers to respond, although they tend to react just as quickly when a baby screams. Men's lower testosterone levels also decrease their sex drive during this time.

— , Louann Brizendine

[bennyboy]

I don't get why it's wrong to cheat in relationships.

is it only people who see things in black and white terms who determine this?

You're dumb.

Relationships are an investment with an implied contract. Another human has a limited mating window, and they are investing a significant part of that window in you. This is a violation right at the most fundamental level of the evolutionary mechanism.

[Polaris]

I'd personally rather die that cheat on someone. So no, I don't believe in cheating on someone.

[dazzn]

I don't get why it's wrong to cheat in relationships.

is it only people who see things in black and white terms who determine this?

You're dumb.

Relationships are an investment with an implied contract. Another human has a limited mating window, and they are investing a significant part of that window in you. This is a violation right at the most fundamental level of the evolutionary mechanism.

There are no rights.