feeling very depressed that when i die i wont see my children again- how do i deal?

[phil77]

You should try to help this lady as best you can. I am a believer and the site makes it clear it is open to all for debate.

Wait, are you saying this site is open for debate or for helping people? I don't believe I've signed on for any first responder responsibilities. Right now I'm debating whether any genuine atheist is going to come to an atheist forum to pine for her newborn child because now she realizes how tragic it is that life is finite and there is no eternally-ever-after. She was okay with that for herself we are to believe but the thought that her new born should one day have to face the idea of mortality is enough to make her swoon? Sorry, I'm not feeling it.

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I've been doing some work to get in touch with my inner asshole. I think I may have made a break through today.

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I'm new to this site. Just worried about her.

[thesummerqueen]

I think a good therapist - a secular one - is the ticket.

[Bad Wolf]

I had this problem when I was a small child, I must of been 5-8 years old. Obviously this was before i became an atheist. I was so afraid of dying and what happens to you after you die and of the thought that I would never see my loved ones again. Of course i didn't appreciate how long life actually is, who can when they are a kid? I realised that for all intents and purposes, i was dead before i was born and that didn't hurt, so why should it be a problem when i do actually die. Realising your own mortality is very freeing and makes you appreciate the world and the people in it so much more.
And besides, you may love your kid now, while he's all cute and cudly, but trust me, when he's a teenager, you won't want that much to do with him and he won't want that much to do with you.

[phil77]

I had this problem when I was a small child, I must of been 5-8 years old. Obviously this was before i became an atheist. I was so afraid of dying and what happens to you after you die and of the thought that I would never see my loved ones again. Of course i didn't appreciate how long life actually is, who can when they are a kid? I realised that for all intents and purposes, i was dead before i was born and that didn't hurt, so why should it be a problem when i do actually die. Realising your own mortality is very freeing and makes you appreciate the world and the people in it so much more.
And besides, you may love your kid now, while he's all cute and cudly, but trust me, when he's a teenager, you won't want that much to do with him and he won't want that much to do with you.

[Minimalist]

Jim Jeffries discussing religion.






Pay attention.

[Angrboda]

@whateverist: I think it's reasonable to err on the side of caution in a case like this. It sounds like the person is simply going through a perfectly typical grieving process over the loss of loved ones.

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Is your grief resolving naturally or has it become something more serious? If you are suffering and having trouble resolving your grief, I don't see any harm in trying to get assistance with that process. While I suspect, depending, it may be difficult to think of taking on additional things at a time like this, it may mean the difference in how long you have to suffer with these feelings. Others have suggested seeing a therapist or a doctor; even if there is nothing clinically wrong, and you are just grieving, they can help you move through that process more effectively. If you're not up to that, there are other options such as attending a grief support group, or even just reading a self-help book on grief (or reading up on it on the web). Whether this is or isn't a normal grief situation, there are things you can do that are equally applicable to both. Coming here and talking to others was one such step. Just keep making little steps.

Giving medical advice is frowned upon, but I'll touch upon a few simple things. During times of grief, your normal routine and activities may be disrupted and altered. Things like regular sleep, eating regular, staying active, and exercise are important components of keeping both* your body and your mind healthy. It may be hard to keep to these things during a time like this, but they will likely help you weather the storm better. (It's advised to minimize or avoid alcohol during such times, as alcohol is a depressant and so just intensifies the bad feelings. However, that's a very personal thing, so, enough said.)

In short: stay active, stay healthy, stay social; even if you've never been active or social prior, doing so now can pay dividends. (Even just a half hour walk.)

Anyway, bets of luck dealing with this.

(ETA: Oh, and imo, there are no right answers here. You'll handle it the way you handle it. People may want to give you simple answers, but you're facing questions that don't yield to simple answers. They're hard questions. They'll take hard answers.)

[mamatobabybear]

The person who said lm a theist ow can I be a theist? From my brief google search they believe there is some sort of god don't they? I don't know what I am and don't care on labels. I want to believe there is something after thus life but i jst don't. I think when you die its the same as before you were born.. you are nothing. Google tells me that's atheism is it not?

Thanks to the others for ur replies yes prob a little depression if I'm honest. Thanks for some of thr Lind and helpful answers. I've always hated the thought that I won't see my parents again but its just so much worse with my aby. :-( But I'm still v.curious how other atheists feel about "never seeing their family again"? I know I won't know once I'm dead that I'm dead but I.know now and its horrible

[Aractus]

to the forums, mamatobabybear.

[Waratah]

The person who said lm a theist ow can I be a theist? From my brief google search they believe there is some sort of god don't they? I don't know what I am and don't care on labels. I want to believe there is something after thus life but i jst don't. I think when you die its the same as before you were born.. you are nothing. Google tells me that's atheism is it not?

Thanks to the others for ur replies yes prob a little depression if I'm honest. Thanks for some of thr Lind and helpful answers. I've always hated the thought that I won't see my parents again but its just so much worse with my aby. :-( But I'm still v.curious how other atheists feel about "never seeing their family again"? I know I won't know once I'm dead that I'm dead but I.know now and its horrible

I had thought you may have been bullshitting but gave you the benefit of doubt. Now I am 99% sure you are.

I would assume most atheist would just say they don't believe in god. Do you find it hard to say this?

If you were so curious about how atheists feel about "never seeing their family again", why not ask it in the first place?

If you are sincere, seek professional help, I think you may need it.

[mamatobabybear]

Wow ur nasty. Seriously re read the title of my post!! It asks how do I deal with the fact I won't see my family again!

As for saying most atheists just say they don't believein god and I find that hard to say then yes! I clearly said I believe when I die I will be nothing as I was before I was born.. how much clearer to I need to be. Just because I believe that doesn't mean I like it. I wish there was life after death and a god so yes its hard to accept there isn't! Who said you have to be happy about being an atheist. I'm not bullshitting... Thanks for ur support. What a welcoming forum.. nit! (Well actually some people have been very lovely but thanks to u I think I will leave