Freestyle Rap Battle Rehashed

[Mystical]

click green arrow

Yep it's on, I don't care if you don't like it
So, sit back, sit up, sit down, or take a rip
I'm startin the thread again and we're gonna take a trip

Y'all are boring me with your questions and philosophy
It's like, 'here buns have a nice colonoscopy!'

Question one, why bother asking?
Question two, why do theists like fasting?!

I'm bored, I'm 'lost', I'm tired, I'm down
Isn't anyone interesting just hangin around?

I feel like those kids sittin in a car in the rain
There's supposed to be a goat's leg, then bam 'where's the pain?'
Someone throw me a Tyrannasaur or something to work with
Cuz all I'm gettin are 'peace, loaves, and all you can eat fish'

[Sejanus]

Interesting, this thing
I see
in front of me
it seems to be
a bunny
but it can't be!
then suddenly
intense agony

I fall on the floor
No vision no more
Never had I seen a thing so ugly before
Never, not even in lore,
Was there a thing that chilled me to the core.

I lost my sight
my might
nearly even my life
the world is rife
with super-ugly types
but nothing like
this
something's amiss
with this miss!

[Cato]

(walks up to rap battle foe, kicks in the nuts/cunt, walks off stage)

Kind of like this....

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Mur-c5IiWJI

[Jacob(smooth)]

click green arrow

Yep it's on, I don't care if you don't like it
So, sit back, sit up, sit down, or take a rip
I'm startin the thread again and we're gonna take a trip

Y'all are boring me with your questions and philosophy
It's like, 'here buns have a nice colonoscopy!'

Question one, why bother asking?
Question two, why do theists like fasting?!

I'm bored, I'm 'lost', I'm tired, I'm down
Isn't anyone interesting just hangin around?

I feel like those kids sittin in a car in the rain
There's supposed to be a goat's leg, then bam 'where's the pain?'
Someone throw me a Tyrannasaur or something to work with
Cuz all I'm gettin are 'peace, loaves, and all you can eat fish'

How you gonna come up in here with that weak ass shit?
Drop a beat.

I can't believe my eyes, is this Luckie come to battle?
Atheists all around her, like a bunch a dumb ass cattle.

You gastric woes are tragic, and that would win you one
If you hadn't told the world that you LIKED stuff up you bum

Your questions bore me. Why you even wanna ask
Fasting ain't for you? Then just give the bitch a pass
Don't suit you being nosy! You gonna tell me how to be?
What are you now a Christian? Your views ain't shit to me.

You ain't got shit on me, my truth got so much swagger,
I go to church, and still get high and get more ass than Haggard!
You thought your rhymes were tight, girl you just messed up in the brain.
So tell me little rabbit do you wanna try again?

[Esquilax]

Shit, this old thing's back?
Rhyming again with a bunch of hacks?
Guess I'll come out swinging,
with these lyrics I be slinging,
Rapping death I be bringing,
to anyone what gets in line.

My quatrains be dope, see?
Not even god can give you hope, G,
To stop you swinging from that rope, the
Lyrical noose that leaves you dyin'.

Guess I'm tryin'
To change up my rhyme scheme a bit.
Keep these words fresh and flyin',
Show you godwads you ain't shit.

Well I'm a rapping eviscerator,
My beats a magical hex,
A word murdering perpetrator,
So there's one question left: who's next?

Jacob, you gonna step up to me?
Sejanus, you wanna get lyrically spanked?
Luckie, you sure you don't wanna flee?
It's the best advice I could give, should be thanked!

Anyone here think they got they rap guns loaded?
Sufficient to take on the Esquilax, be show-ded,
Just how outclassed you are, outmoded,
Word murdered and left in the rap-ditch, dead.

[Jacob(smooth)]

You rhyme lots, you do
Yeah you ramble, it's true
Now let's see how you look when the rhyming is through.

I can do both, my Bro, and his rabbity Ho.
I Can spit shit and split hits for all a y'all yo?
You think you got skills? Think theology through?
Your thoughts are so bland Sleepy don't ignore you.
Bitch please, hush your noise, and then take a long hike
Sword of Christ, if he rhymed, could take you on the mic.
ban spammers as a mod, that what you do well
But you cry late at night, cos you frightened of hell.
Yeah that's right bitch, you heard me I see through you lies
Deep down you a Christian, that's just how this shit flies!
You were raised in the light but you turned to the black
Cos you thought hunsome babe's be attracted to that.
This battle be tragic, you Warped in your head
If you think you can win you been sorely misled!

[Esquilax]

Damn, the cross humper's tryin' to take me to church!
Started out funny, ended by makin' my stomach lurch.
I'm bemused by your assumptions,
Calling me a christian takes gumption,
But I gotta beat down that thought with my rhyme truncheon,
And show you to the door.

My jaw hit the floor,
When you called my bunny a Ho,
She's hunsome and winsome fo' sho'
But your words there might make her roar.

I ain't just a miscreant banner,
Multi-talented, I'm a genre spanner,
My rhymes will turn your nerves jangled,
And leave you lyrically mangled.

My shit is too hot to handle,
It's an atheist scandal,
I'm like a flow spitting vandal,
To whom you can't hold a candle.

You're really awful at this,
I think it's cute that you tried!
Though you're as washed up as Jonah and his whale at low tide.
You ought to count yourself fortunate,
That I even replied!

Word.

[Jacob(smooth)]

Hey look, he comes back,
Like the wannabe hack
That he is, takes the piss, with his lyrical jizz.

Yeah that's right bitch, it's true. Your facade be blown through. All your home boys and girls get to see the real you.
See your game, you ain't changed, all the words you be bringin'
Dog you claim you've no faith, just so you could keep sinnin'!

Tell me now where is the forum for "you've no faith in cheese?"
Your whole joint in needs religion like it needs air to breath.
You got nothin' that you for, just for stuff that you're not!
Seems a brand new shiny theist is what gets you all hot.

So don't tell me I got gumption, i just spit out what's true.
If it makes you feel rage it's probley cause it's all true.
You are what you are not, and that shit is just whack.
I'm embarrassed cos I know you gonna try to come back.

[Esquilax]

Jacob, ain't you heard the news?
This faith thing's got a short fuse,
And when it blows up you'll lose,
'cause of this atheist's demolition.

Your god is imaginary,
As a claim, it's unverified,
You say your rapping's exemplary,
Well that too is unjustified!

No, don't open your bible,
Old dead words won't help,
Your prophet's rules are liable,
To make a sane person yelp.

The rape shit, the murder, that ain't exactly moral,
The god that's cool with slavery,
Has problems with guy-on-guy oral?

No no, don't tell me:
You have an apologetic.
It's only faith-fed eyes that don't see,
How that's shit's pathetic!

So the bits you dislike is allegory,
And the parts you like is truth?
Maybe that'll be all hunky and dory,
Once you tell how you sayed that sooth?

And I'd remind you, dude,
In response to your theistic 'tude,
Atheism may be rude,
But it's necessary too!

This shit you wouldn't dole out,
To other oppositional positions,
Do the mentally ill get to shout,
About being locked up in institutions?

[Mystical]

Oh ho, lookie what we got here
Gots a 'world class doctor'
Ivy babe, go grab me a beer
and maybe a proctor

Boy you couldn't rap battle if you practiced and practiced
Best turn around, and go sit on a motherfucking cactus

You smell feet for a living, it's true and quite sad
While your god-man religion is just a modern day fad
And your beats: well, they just suck
Best take them to A69 too, and go get fucked

Bring it god-man, tell me somethin new, give us a show
Show AF.O that you're not a bitches' ho
Cuz I do know something you don't know

Sleepy's gone
Didn't anyone tell you, HO?

Esquilax is a VIP of the mod squad
Better anyday than your brainwashed god pod

I'd rather be one of the few
Than livin life with a skewed world view

You're just a theist and a deist
Gotta hit it with the church girls cuz you gots a small--
mind, yeah I pulled out a nonrhyme

thought I'd go there didn't you? But no, I'm a girl with class
And while you're sittin there mindblown,
Go ahead and kiss my sweet ass

---

(walks up to rap battle foe, kicks in the nuts/cunt, walks off stage)

Kind of like this....

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Mur-c5IiWJI

Cato123?
Man you're so easy

Here's you
gettin BBQd

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mk2E1CoGe98