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RE: That Day will come as a trap on all the world
September 23, 2014 at 1:04 pm
(September 23, 2014 at 12:53 pm)Brakeman Wrote: (September 23, 2014 at 12:39 pm)Exian Wrote: not claiming I have done nothing wrong. I'm claiming my wrong doings are a little more tangible than some abstract sin I committed upon by birth (although, I did piss an arc of urine into my grandmas cereal during a diaper change, I've since apologized)
What did innocent being did your grandmother demand you to kill before she forgave you? Did you have to kill her son or just one of the family pets?
Oh, she wanted me to sacrifice Fido, but she stopped me at the last second to demonstrate how she is just and good. Good thing too, because I was for real going to murder that little fucker.
And afterwards, I thought "Man, my grandma is cool and good." The thought that I was seriously willing and able to murder my pet for her never crossed my mind. #blessed
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RE: That Day will come as a trap on all the world
September 23, 2014 at 1:04 pm
Someone should setup a countdown clock now, we are nearing the deadline....
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RE: That Day will come as a trap on all the world
September 23, 2014 at 1:09 pm
(September 23, 2014 at 1:04 pm)Exian Wrote: (September 23, 2014 at 12:53 pm)Brakeman Wrote: What did innocent being did your grandmother demand you to kill before she forgave you? Did you have to kill her son or just one of the family pets?
Oh, she wanted me to sacrifice Fido, but she stopped me at the last second to demonstrate how she is just and good. Good thing too, because I was for real going to murder that little fucker.
And afterwards, I thought "Man, my grandma is cool and good." The thought that I was seriously willing and able to murder my pet for her never crossed my mind. #blessed
She is such a merciful grandma! I hope you don't ever even think about crossing one of her rules or she will justly torture you with fire forever in her basement. She loves you so!
Find the cure for Fundementia!
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RE: That Day will come as a trap on all the world
September 23, 2014 at 1:13 pm
(September 23, 2014 at 12:20 pm)Jacob(smooth) Wrote: Saved by Grace through faith and washed clean through jesus ransom sacrifice I would imagine...
So would I. What would our ironic prof imagine?
Though I would hope the first troll you mentioned would have nothing to do with it.
At the age of five, Skagra decided emphatically that God did not exist. This revelation tends to make most people in the universe who have it react in one of two ways - with relief or with despair. Only Skagra responded to it by thinking, 'Wait a second. That means there's a situation vacant.'
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RE: That Day will come as a trap on all the world
September 23, 2014 at 1:14 pm
Baaahaha Jesus christ that's funny. Makes me want to go through the bible and replace all the instances of "God" with "Grandma". It's so much cuter that way.
I can't remember where this verse is from, I think it got removed from canon:
"I don't hang around with mostly men because I'm gay. It's because men are better than women. Better trained, better equipped...better. Just better! I'm not gay."
For context, this is the previous verse:
"Hi Jesus" -robvalue
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RE: That Day will come as a trap on all the world
September 23, 2014 at 1:29 pm
Farmland is great.
Only problem is, farming is knowledge and equipment intensive + you need some land.
The metals become a means of transaction/ barter, and with everything else diving-
not only a store of wealth but an increasing store as demand grows.
I figure both sons will be able to pay off most, if not all of their mortgages with it.
A typical bull market goes up about ten times during it's span.
Good question from Stimbo and good answer from Jacob.
But it goes a little deeper.
In any group, there are people on "Cruise control", these in Islam would be
the "Moderates"- middle of the road.
In Christianity, there is a similar bell shaped curve.
Walking down the aisle, receiving Christ, then paying little regard to Him subsequently would be real "moderate".
We are to grow in grace, paying attention to that small voice of the Holy Spirit.
Like when he says, "Don't do that", or "How about doing this.."
Many "Churches" don't even believe God speaks to them.
There are promises we are to stand on, like - believe on the Lord Jesus Christ and your house(kids) shall be saved.
Doesn't say when that happens. I commit it to God.
Promises regarding the Catching Away:
"Because you have kept the word of My patience- I will keep you FROM the hour of testing that is coming on the whole earth- to test them."
Guys, I have been keeping that word for a long time.
"Beloved, we shall not all sleep (die)- in a moment- in the twinkling of an eye- we shall be changed...."
The answer to Stimbo's query really requires a book.
The parable of the 10 virgins (espoused to ONE bridegroom) is a parable of the Departure, five of the girls had sufficient oil (oil is a symbol of the Holy Spirit).
When the shout of the Bridegroom came, the lamps of the other five were going out.
They were told to "Go buy oil from the vendors" but after they went- the Groom came.
Half the Church is NOT ready. They are NOT watching, their leaders are asleep at the wheel and the "Road Closed Ahead" is looming larger and larger.
The situation is seen again in the letters to the Churches in the book of Revelation:
The second last group (Philadelphia) is told what I quoted above- Kept from (eck= out of) the hour while the last group, Laodicea is told they would be spit out. Reason- they said they were, rich, in need of nothing but in actuality were blind naked and poor (spiritually of course).
The rest of the 7 churches before these last 2 were a mix.
So again, we have a situation where out of these representative churches- half do not go up with the Heavenly Bridegroom when He comes.
I am probably way past attention span at this point so I stop.
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RE: That Day will come as a trap on all the world
September 23, 2014 at 1:34 pm
(This post was last modified: September 23, 2014 at 1:35 pm by LastPoet.)
I am sure you will come up with a bigger pile of shit than the above in a few days after nothing happens. That or you'll pack your stuff and won't have the nerve to face your failure.
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RE: That Day will come as a trap on all the world
September 23, 2014 at 1:35 pm
In other words, we don't get to be beamed up because we don't have your beliefs? That sound like a punishable offense to you?
At the age of five, Skagra decided emphatically that God did not exist. This revelation tends to make most people in the universe who have it react in one of two ways - with relief or with despair. Only Skagra responded to it by thinking, 'Wait a second. That means there's a situation vacant.'
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RE: That Day will come as a trap on all the world
September 23, 2014 at 1:45 pm
In an apocalypse you have a much better chance at bartering ammo than gold or diamonds.
By the way Stimbo, I think getting beamed up with the fundies would be the real punishment.
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RE: That Day will come as a trap on all the world
September 23, 2014 at 1:49 pm
I agree. Which makes me think that, in the astronomically unlikely event that any of this is true, it would be our fate to be raptured along with the faith-heads. After all, does "God" not intend to punish us for not believing in "him"? Since that would probably be the most extreme punishment, that has to be our fate in this scenario.
Save me a window seat, prof.
At the age of five, Skagra decided emphatically that God did not exist. This revelation tends to make most people in the universe who have it react in one of two ways - with relief or with despair. Only Skagra responded to it by thinking, 'Wait a second. That means there's a situation vacant.'
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