My experience in the catholic church

[Longhorn]

I posted a thread about my deconversion a while ago, but that was after I left the church. This is my experience with the catholic church alone.

My religious education in the catholic church started when I was about 4. I was taught by a nun along with a bunch of other preschoolers. One day she gave us coloring books with a picture of the thorn crown. She said that every time we do something wrong, we add one thorn to the crown and it really hurts Jesus, and he bleeds. That was my first experience with guilt and it never left me since.

In school I was taught by both nuns and priests. When I was 8, a nun told us this story of a girl who was selfish and didn't share her food and as punishment was stuck in hell, watching everybody eat and starving forever. You know. For kids.

One of the priests was an alright guy, except for his obsession with evil spirits. He told us stories about demons and the devil, and about haunted houses that had blood dripping down the walls at 3am. I was 11 then and it scared the shit out of me.

A person who had a huge impact on me was one nun. A sweet, fragile lady.... She loved telling us about exorcisms, showed us documentaries about satanic rituals, which described in detail how they brutally mutilated children and animals. You know. For kids!

It fucked me up. Couldn't sleep. I would wake up in the middle of the night for weeks and shake in fear of demons and hell.

Things didn't get better since then. I went through more indoctrination tactics and more threats of hell, from different priests and nuns.

They guilt trips they would make and the horrible things they told me left a mark. It fucked up my brain pretty badly, destroyed my self esteem. I've been struggling with horrible guilt since I can remember and it drove me to self harm and attempting suicide. Now I'm brainwashed, sexually repressed and miserable.

I hate catholicism. Not because I got shitty people, but because the church condones the way they taught and endorses what they taught. It's all about guilt and it makes me sick.

My biggest fear is that I'll never get over it.

[abaris]

My religious education in the catholic church started when I was about 4. I was taught by a nun along with a bunch of other preschoolers. One day she gave us coloring books with a picture of the thorn crown. She said that every time we do something wrong, we add one thorn to the crown and it really hurts Jesus, and he bleeds. That was my first experience with guilt and it never left me since.

Try that on for size. When I was about 7, a priest told us kids that if we sin, god would take what we love most. Not to downplay your experience, but I virtually spent sleepless nights worrying about my parents, grandparents and brother. I would have happily exchanged that fundamental fear of being all alone in the world and being guilty of killing my loved ones for sticking thorns in Jesus.

They're fearmongers and child abuse can take on many forms. It doesn't have to be sexual.

[Metis]

Sorry to hear you had that rough a time Neimenovic Glad I managed to steer well clear of that.

I've noted in my studies the type of indoctrination Catholic kids get depends entirely on the locality, in a country where they are the minority like the UK they're all "Jesus loves you, Jesus is your best friend, Mary loves you like her own son/daughter etc". All very cushy and fluffy bunnies.

Soon as you head into a Catholic-dominated zone like Ireland you get the hellfire treatment; "The lawwwwd will bollock the wicked! Siiiiins of deerrr fleeesh will be punished by eeetuurnal faaaaaaiiire as our blessed mother at Fatima said!"

My boyfreind apparently got more of the former when he was growing up until secondary school where it got a bit more conservative and intense, it only really turned super nasty when he got outed and his parents forced him to go to a Catholic conversion therapy to zap the gay demon out of him.

Catholics are super gushy to their own in my experience, less so to outsiders but as soon as you mention you're one of the untouchables (single mother, divorcee, gay) it changes in a snap second and you get the fundie hellfire on max volume.

Can I just ask where you guys grew up Neimenovic and Abaris and what years? I'm just curious to know where you got this

[Minimalist]

She said that every time we do something wrong, we add one thorn to the crown and it really hurts Jesus, and he bleeds.

Good.  Fuck him.

[abaris]

Can I just ask where you guys grew up Neimenovic and Abaris and what years? I'm just curious to know where you got this

Born and bred in Austria with pretty much all ethnic ingredients our former empire had to offer. Hungarian, jewish, slawic and German. The time when they had a try on indoctrinating me was the early 70ies. Didn't do them much good, since it actually was the first step on my way to get rid of religion. Instead of worshipping I started to fear and hate god.

[Longhorn]

Try that on for size. When I was about 7, a priest told us kids that if we sin, god would take what we love most. Not to downplay your experience, but I virtually spent sleepless nights worrying about my parents, grandparents and brother. I would have happily exchanged that fundamental fear of being all alone in the world and being guilty of killing my loved ones for sticking thorns in Jesus.

They're fearmongers and child abuse can take on many forms. It doesn't have to be sexual.

Holy shit. That's fucking sick. It's child abuse, plain and simple. What fucking sickos.

Can I just ask where you guys grew up Neimenovic and Abaris and what years? I'm just curious to know where you got this

Europe, not too long ago. Would rather not be more specific. Information classified and all that.

[Aoi Magi]

I never understood how the people who claim belief in a loving god use so much hate and scare tactics to spread their beliefs. I sometimes wonder if they themselves truly believe in a loving god or not.

[Metis]

Thanks for sharing guys

I never understood how the people who claim belief in a loving god use so much hate and scare tactics to spread their beliefs. I sometimes wonder if they themselves truly believe in a loving god or not.

It's an ends justify the means thing. It's better to scare the shit out of you now than to let you burn forever. In an odd way I can see their reasoning, if eternal hellfire for non-believers is a thing then of course you'd want to do what you can to save them from it.

[Longhorn]

I never understood how the people who claim belief in a loving god use so much hate and scare tactics to spread their beliefs. I sometimes wonder if they themselves truly believe in a loving god or not.

I don't know, but there is no amount of cognitive dissonance true believers can't take

[rexbeccarox]

Thank you for sharing, Vic and Abaris. I'm so sorry you both had to go through that.