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Random Humorous Things - A Light-Hearted Thread

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Random Humorous Things - A Light-Hearted Thread
downbeatplumb Offline
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#1711
RE: Random Humorous Things - A Light-Hearted Thread
December 26, 2017 at 6:14 am
(December 26, 2017 at 6:02 am)Fake Messiah Wrote: Merry SuckAss from your Blow-up doll in chief.

[Image: oHcAanIv_o.jpg]
That's a blow up doll I think. I recognise the mouth position.



You can fix ignorance, you can't fix stupid.

Tinkety Tonk and down with the Nazis.




 








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Cyberman Away
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#1712
RE: Random Humorous Things - A Light-Hearted Thread
December 28, 2017 at 3:53 pm


At the age of five, Skagra decided emphatically that God did not exist.  This revelation tends to make most people in the universe who have it react in one of two ways - with relief or with despair.  Only Skagra responded to it by thinking, 'Wait a second.  That means there's a situation vacant.'
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purplepurpose Offline
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#1713
RE: Random Humorous Things - A Light-Hearted Thread
December 28, 2017 at 3:58 pm
(December 28, 2017 at 3:53 pm)Cyberman Wrote:


This is the second coming of messiah.
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BrianSoddingBoru4 Offline
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#1714
RE: Random Humorous Things - A Light-Hearted Thread
December 31, 2017 at 7:59 am (This post was last modified: December 31, 2017 at 8:00 am by BrianSoddingBoru4.)
Quote:ANNUAL NEOLOGISM CONTEST
Once again, The Washington Post has published the winning submissions to its yearly contest, in which readers are asked to supply alternative meanings for common words. The winners are:
 
1. Coffee (N.), the person upon whom one coughs.
 
2. Flabbergasted (adj.), appalled over how much weight you have gained.
 
3. Abdicate (V.), to give up all hope of ever having a flat stomach.
 
4. Esplanade (V.), to attempt an explanation while drunk.
 
5. Willy-nilly (Adj.), impotent.
 
6. Negligent (Adj.), describes a condition in which you absentmindedly answer the door in your nightgown.
 
7. Lymph (V.), to walk with a lisp.
 
8. Gargoyle (N.), olive-flavored mouthwash.
 
9. Flatulence (N.) emergency vehicle that picks you up after you are run over by a steamroller.
 
10. Balderdash (N.), a rapidly receding hairline.
 
11. Testicle (N.), a humorous question on an exam.
 
12. Rectitude (N.), the formal, dignified bearing adopted by proctologists.
 
13. Pokemon (N), a Rastafarian proctologist.
 
14. Oyster (N.), a person who sprinkles his conversation with  Yiddishisms.
 
15. Frisbeetarianism (N.), (back by popular demand): The belief that,  when you die, your Soul flies up onto the roof and gets stuck there. 
 
16. Circumvent (N.), an opening in the front of boxer shorts worn by Jewish men.

Pretty sure #7 is my fave.  I've also heard an alternate for #10: 'A hundred yard dash in kilts.'

Boru
‘But it does me no injury for my neighbour to say there are twenty gods or no gods. It neither picks my pocket nor breaks my leg.’ - Thomas Jefferson
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BrianSoddingBoru4 Offline
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#1715
Patrick Stewart Goes Country
January 3, 2018 at 7:25 pm
There are no words...

Patrick Stewart's Cowboy Classics

Boru
‘But it does me no injury for my neighbour to say there are twenty gods or no gods. It neither picks my pocket nor breaks my leg.’ - Thomas Jefferson
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ignoramus Offline
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#1716
RE: Random Humorous Things - A Light-Hearted Thread
January 4, 2018 at 6:20 am (This post was last modified: January 4, 2018 at 6:24 am by ignoramus.)
Brian, I'm ashamed to admit that my ST nerdiness forced me to watch that whole parody!
Went for a day trip to an old gold mining town here in Victoria called Ballarat.
Found these in a knick knack store ...

[Image: 223wlr.jpg]

[Image: 223wmd.jpg]

My favourite one isn't there though ...it said:

The Surgeon General warns that drinking excessively will cause memory loss and even worse, will cause memory loss!
No God, No fear.
Know God, Know fear.
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BrianSoddingBoru4 Offline
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#1717
RE: Random Humorous Things - A Light-Hearted Thread
January 5, 2018 at 8:30 pm
[Image: cool-little-cat-Sporran-kilt.jpg]

Boru
‘But it does me no injury for my neighbour to say there are twenty gods or no gods. It neither picks my pocket nor breaks my leg.’ - Thomas Jefferson
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Fireball Offline
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#1718
RE: Random Humorous Things - A Light-Hearted Thread
January 5, 2018 at 9:37 pm
@ Ig-

I did a double take when you mentioned Ballarat. I camped not too far from this one, a little over 31 years ago.
If you get to thinking you’re a person of some influence, try ordering somebody else’s dog around.
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ignoramus Offline
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#1719
RE: Random Humorous Things - A Light-Hearted Thread
January 5, 2018 at 10:48 pm
Fireballs, when I was on the US mustang forum, I kept telling people I'm from OZ....
They kept mentioning the Emerald city? WTF was that about?
No God, No fear.
Know God, Know fear.
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Fireball Offline
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#1720
RE: Random Humorous Things - A Light-Hearted Thread
January 6, 2018 at 12:44 am
(January 5, 2018 at 10:48 pm)ignoramus Wrote: Fireballs, when I was on the US mustang forum, I kept telling people I'm from OZ....
They kept mentioning the Emerald city? WTF was that about?

You must follow the yellow brick road to enlightenment, grasshopper...or maybe jack? Big Grin
If you get to thinking you’re a person of some influence, try ordering somebody else’s dog around.
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Random Humorous Things - A Light-Hearted Thread

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