Silly things you misunderstood about religion as a child

[abaris]

For instance, my husband told me that when he was a kid that he thought God, The lord, and Jesus were three separate people, and that Santa and God hung out in heaven.

I was exactly the same. I didn't like god, but I liked Jesus. Santa hadn't really arrived in my country when I was a child, but we had the "Christkind". Kind of a baby Jesus, but for some reason it's often depicted as a female. And it was the coolest of them all, since it brought presents.