Would you be flattered if a gay person said they fancied you?

[Jenny A]

I was in a less-severe situation, myself:

I have always been supportive of LGBT rights and pride.
But I am a straight woman.

I attended one event with two women, in support of the cause.
One woman was bisexual, whom I knew from school...a really nice lady.

The other woman was her friend, whom I didn't know so well, and she was a lesbian.

Everything was fine, all night, until this woman had a few drinks in her,
and then she seemed to expect a kiss from me...a real kiss.

I did nothing to lead her on, and I was uncomfortable.

I don't think she meant it as an assault, she was just wasted,
and maybe she liked me and her inhibitions were loosened,
or perhaps somewhere in her mind,
she convinced herself that I was bi-curious or something
...but it was inappropriate, in any event.

I am 100% pro-LGBT rights,

but I get very annoyed with any LGBT friends,
when they think it's okay to disregard someone who politely declines their advances,

because we spend all this time educating homophobes to "just take it as a compliment",
and not see it as a threat;

But if you cross that line, you have now vindicated their fears about gay people not taking no for an answer.

It's not suddenly okay to sexually harass someone just because
you think the person is a bit uptight or homophobic, and needs to "loosen up".

That's no better than a straight male sexually harassing a lesbian
and telling her "she's just never had a real man".

Having said all that,
I think that the majority of gay people will respect "no thanks" for an answer,

and yes, I generally accept it as a compliment, as long as it's respectful.

That's kind of where I am. Once in college, a lesbian became a study partner and friend until she began making hints about a more sexual relationship. I was married to my now ex-husband at the time. And she knew I was married. I raised it as a defense, and she said extra-marital sex with women didn't count. It's the most anti-feminist thing I've ever heard from an avowed feminist. It was also the end of our friendship. It's also the only thing remotely like it that's ever happened to me with a lesbian women. I don't think it was a lesbian thing. It was a her thing. And I've had many worse experiences with hetero men.