What the bible says Hell is like

[robvalue]

The Flying Spaghetti Monster loves you and wants you to live pastally ever after. But his arch nemesis, himself in a cheap mask, wants to spoil all that and roast your ears in pasta sauce.

The FSM will save you from that fate he so evilly has planned for you. No wait, that his nemesis has planned for you. All you have to do is eat nothing but pasta for the rest of your life, for some reason. And stuck it up your butt on Sundays. If you don't do that, you are choosing to have your ears roasted. And your arms exploded. And a bunch of other stuff, read the small print.

But it's totally your choice to either obey me or suffer. I mean, him. Obey the FSM. Not me.