Our server costs ~$56 per month to run. Please consider donating or becoming a Patron to help keep the site running. Help us gain new members by following us on Twitter and liking our page on Facebook!
Current time: August 9, 2022, 2:04 pm

Thread Rating:
  • 0 Vote(s) - 0 Average
  • 1
  • 2
  • 3
  • 4
  • 5
The Bible Says So
#1
The Bible Says So
Well, duh, of course the book is true because the book tells us so. What's not convincing about this apologetic?

The Bible Tells Me So

And why shouldn't this well-rounded argument be convincing? After all, we have four bone fide witnesses to the events, more or less. 

We have Mark who was a companion of Paul who saw Jesus in a vision but hey, Mark did hear it from Peter, so that's kind of a witness. 

Then we have Matthew who was an eye-witness, however much he may had stretched the truth here and there a bit. Some have said the whole "slaughter of the innocents" by Herod the Great sounds a bit like it was lifted from the story of Moses' birth from Exodus (which seems only fair since that was in turn lifted from the story of Sargon so it's not like Moses had a copyright on surviving a tyrant's infanticideal rampage). And then there's the bit about the "Attack of the Zombie Saints" at the end.





A bit of artistic license on Matthew's part. Anyway, we also have Luke who was a companion of Paul, who tells us he's put together all the accounts he's heard of (Luke 1:1-4). 

And then we have John, who's story only bears no similarity whatsoever to the other three accounts, so much so that the other three are called "The Synoptic Gospels" or (similar Gospels). Nitpicky atheists will doubtless raise objections but really, the details aren't important. 

What's really important here is how they reported on the big picture issue, the resurrection of Jesus. Mark at first reports no sighting of the resurrected Jesus until after his Gospel was altered to create a better ending (originally, it ended at 16:8). The tale got better with the telling. Luke reports that Jesus rose up into the sky that day of his resurrection. Matthew has the disciples meeting with the resurrected Jesus but some of them had their doubts. John says Jesus returned to confront the doubting Thomas a week later and Acts says Jesus went about preaching for 40 days. 

OK, the details seem a little sketchy here but maybe Jesus had a lot of back and forth trips to his new home in the clouds. You know how it is when you move away, there are still some things you left behind. Sometimes the move takes several trips and all that. Or perhaps it was part of the gig.

It must have been a crowd pleaser. There were 500 witnesses to the resurrected Jesus, after all (Paul, 1 Cor 15:6). Or was that 120 (Acts 1:15)? I forget. Apparently, the authors did too. Details, details. 

And then we have Paul who also received a full briefing on the resurrection of Jesus. His "creed", found in 1 Cor chapter 15 is often touted by Christian apologists as hard evidence for the resurrection.

The Wholly Babble Wrote:1Cor 15:4 And that he was buried, and that he rose again the third day according to the scriptures:

And there you have it. The Bible not only tells us so but it, or what they had at that time, told him as well. 

Case closed.

Game, set, and match, atheists.
"You don't need facts when you got Jesus." -Pastor Deacon Fred, Landover Baptist Church

™: True Christian is a Trademark of the Landover Baptist Church. I have no affiliation with this fine group of True Christians ™ because I can't afford their tithing requirements but would like to be. Maybe someday the Lord will bless me with enough riches that I am able to. 

And for the lovers of Poe, here's your winking smiley:  Wink
Reply
#2
RE: The Bible Says So
[Image: circular-logic.jpg]


Fuck the fucking bible.  Fucker.
Reply
#3
RE: The Bible Says So
The bible is a map that tells you how to approach and find God. What makes the bible true is you can still use it to approach and find God.
Reply
#4
RE: The Bible Says So
Sounds like "moses" could have used one, then.  Who gets lost in the desert for forty years?
I am the Infantry. I am my country’s strength in war, her deterrent in peace. I am the heart of the fight… wherever, whenever. I carry America’s faith and honor against her enemies. I am the Queen of Battle. I am what my country expects me to be, the best trained Soldier in the world. In the race for victory, I am swift, determined, and courageous, armed with a fierce will to win. Never will I fail my country’s trust. Always I fight on…through the foe, to the objective, to triumph overall. If necessary, I will fight to my death. By my steadfast courage, I have won more than 200 years of freedom. I yield not to weakness, to hunger, to cowardice, to fatigue, to superior odds, For I am mentally tough, physically strong, and morally straight. I forsake not, my country, my mission, my comrades, my sacred duty. I am relentless. I am always there, now and forever. I AM THE INFANTRY! FOLLOW ME!
Reply
#5
RE: The Bible Says So
(December 4, 2018 at 1:14 pm)Gae Bolga Wrote: Sounds like "moses" could have used one, then.  Who gets lost in the desert for forty years?

the people who God wanted to all die out/those who did not deserve to set foot in the promised land/even moses himself.


Ever have a house built?

they will tell you 6 months. they mean 6 to 18 months depending if they want to work every other day or not.

in that time you spend living in a camper/RV over the 6 months you begin to realize that anything is better than this, even if the fit and finish is not perfect. That dinner off your stove top is always better than eating out of a bag.. To the point where you are now willing on compromising on what you have to do to get in your new home, even if it means going through a few armies/obstacles that yo might have thought impossible just 40 days ago let alone years.

Meaning it took 40 years to get their minds right in order to take back their homes.
Reply
#6
RE: The Bible Says So
AS noted elsewhere, dripshit is so fucking stupid he believes anything.

Anything that is convenient for him, that is.
Reply
#7
RE: The Bible Says So
"God" should have sent them a gps, instead of wtf "manna" is supposed to have been.
I am the Infantry. I am my country’s strength in war, her deterrent in peace. I am the heart of the fight… wherever, whenever. I carry America’s faith and honor against her enemies. I am the Queen of Battle. I am what my country expects me to be, the best trained Soldier in the world. In the race for victory, I am swift, determined, and courageous, armed with a fierce will to win. Never will I fail my country’s trust. Always I fight on…through the foe, to the objective, to triumph overall. If necessary, I will fight to my death. By my steadfast courage, I have won more than 200 years of freedom. I yield not to weakness, to hunger, to cowardice, to fatigue, to superior odds, For I am mentally tough, physically strong, and morally straight. I forsake not, my country, my mission, my comrades, my sacred duty. I am relentless. I am always there, now and forever. I AM THE INFANTRY! FOLLOW ME!
Reply
#8
RE: The Bible Says So
(December 4, 2018 at 1:55 pm)Gae Bolga Wrote: "God" should have sent them a gps, instead of wtf "manna" is supposed to have been.

Have I told you how much I LOVE you new screen name? I googled it and I know it is supposed to be this awesome wepon/spear of light, but all I see is pronounced: "GAY Blogna" which suits you perfectly. 

Thank you for taking on this screen name, it is the best christmas gift I think I will get all year!

Can I call you "GAE" for short?
Hehe
Reply
#9
RE: The Bible Says So
IKR, it's funny because it's gay, Ha Ha you're a faggot, get it..get it!...and you've got the mind of a teenage boy.   

It's funnier for me than it is for you..though.
I am the Infantry. I am my country’s strength in war, her deterrent in peace. I am the heart of the fight… wherever, whenever. I carry America’s faith and honor against her enemies. I am the Queen of Battle. I am what my country expects me to be, the best trained Soldier in the world. In the race for victory, I am swift, determined, and courageous, armed with a fierce will to win. Never will I fail my country’s trust. Always I fight on…through the foe, to the objective, to triumph overall. If necessary, I will fight to my death. By my steadfast courage, I have won more than 200 years of freedom. I yield not to weakness, to hunger, to cowardice, to fatigue, to superior odds, For I am mentally tough, physically strong, and morally straight. I forsake not, my country, my mission, my comrades, my sacred duty. I am relentless. I am always there, now and forever. I AM THE INFANTRY! FOLLOW ME!
Reply
#10
RE: The Bible Says So
Atheism seems to be evolving into a religion with a dependence on "god(s)."

Atheists

- Have churches
- Sing hymns
- Have "religious" rights
- Are exceedingly concerned over "religious" texts
- Use the word "god" continually to explain their positions on things
- Collect offering when they congregate
- Get "religious certifications" similar to other religions, including designations like "reverend".
Etc...etc...etc...

Wonder what "atheism" will look like 10 years from now.

(This doesn't mean I don't think you are atheists. It's just looking more and more similar...)
Reply



Possibly Related Threads...
Thread Author Replies Views Last Post
  Without citing the bible, what marks the bible as the one book with God's message? Whateverist 143 36254 March 31, 2022 at 7:05 am
Last Post: Gwaithmir
  World ending on April 23rd, says false prophet Divinity 41 6581 April 27, 2018 at 1:19 pm
Last Post: Abaddon_ire
  Pope says in interview that there is no hell. downbeatplumb 56 7818 April 16, 2018 at 8:53 pm
Last Post: Jehanne
  Tell All Book Says Pat Robertson Full of Shit Minimalist 12 2842 September 29, 2017 at 3:51 pm
Last Post: Atheist73
  Who Says Godscreated 153 29775 September 15, 2017 at 2:28 pm
Last Post: Amarok
  What the bible says Hell is like sinnerdaniel94 843 104753 September 11, 2016 at 6:08 pm
Last Post: Arkilogue
  Billy Graham's Daughter says transgender people responsible for 9/11 Aroura 23 3759 May 15, 2016 at 7:02 am
Last Post: abaris
Wink The Third Eagle of the Apocalypse says...the end is nigh! Aegon 12 4432 January 18, 2016 at 7:38 am
Last Post: ignoramus
Thumbs Down Bible says convert or kill the nonbelievers too. Thumbs down for Christianity... IanHulett 68 15933 January 5, 2016 at 11:49 am
Last Post: Drich
  The Seat of Man's Intellect: What Says Your God? Mudhammam 38 12785 August 31, 2015 at 5:13 pm
Last Post: Pyrrho



Users browsing this thread: 1 Guest(s)