Nativity scene in my house!

[Thor]

Glue the figures down, or secure them in a way.

I was thinking of something like this. It would be fun to glue the figures down and then watch the twits try to remove them. They would undoubtedly be surprised and they would most likely knock down parts of the scene when they tried to pick up the baseball figures. This would cause the perpetrator embarrassment and I could smile and say, "Gee, guess you shouldn't be touching stuff in other people's houses, huh?"

Have you considered putting up a big sacrilegious framed poster and bolting it heavily to the wall?

I'd love to do this, but my wife wouldn't go for it.