I see we've reached the final stage of apologetics grief, which is the grief you feel when your apologetics fail. You've reached that stage where all you have left to muster is to insult the atheists at how stupid they must be for not believing in god. We actually have another member that went through a severe bout of that stage but seems to have pulled though. Here's hoping for you.
Even if the open windows of science at first make us shiver after the cozy indoor warmth of traditional humanizing myths, in the end the fresh air brings vigor, and the great spaces have a splendor of their own - Bertrand Russell