Interesting debate over there .....

[Ben Davis]

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So, over on FB in an atheist group I'm in, there is a rather heated discussion going on as to whether or not a man has the right to be a parent if he gets a girl pregnant and she decides she doesn't want to be a parent. I won't use the person's name but I am going to quote his question/initial thought and see what you all think here.

if a woman can decide to have an abortion or not to does that mean the choice of being a parent rest with her alone for herself but the man also. if this is the case does it not seem right the man be also given the choice to not be a parent in the event she does get pregnant for whatever reason. even if she decided she would like to keep it and be a parent herself? this is quite an interesting question with a lot of factors and opinion. what do people think. note im no suggesting a man has a say if a woman can have an abortion or not but the right to opt out of being a parent

There are many factors to this question, which is why I'm not doing a poll. The first being the right of bodily autonomy. At what point does a man's rights to parent a child override a woman's right to continue a pregnancy or not? I would think that the moment the child is born, is the moment parenting starts. So there would be ZERO moments when a man can override the bodily autonomy issue.

Another factor to consider: If the woman decides to carry the pregnancy to full term, then they both become parents. Either one can back out of the deal by signing over their rights to the other parent. Once a child is born, the parents both have a say in whether or not they want to continue being parents. If they both want it, great. If they both don't want it - there's adoption agencies to handle that too.

Next factor: If one wants it but the other does not, then why not let the willing parent have the child and allow the other person to back out gracefully without having any future rights to that child?

4th factor: What about abstaining from sex with the person (presumably the woman) who doesn't want to become a parent? This would seem to make the most sense to me. The guy can happily find a partner who would be willing to be a parent with him, right?

Before we get too deep into this; Please let's not make this thread SOLELY about the abortion issue. That's not what is being presented here.

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The question being presented is one of a man's right to parent a child regardless of the woman's wish to parent or not. We can discuss abortion as an option, but I'd like to explore the other factors involved with this particular scenario.

(Emphasis mine) If the woman doesn't consent? Tough - no baby, no question. If there's a 'sperm/egg donor & surrogate' situation then everyone's happy (with an understanding that some surrogates have trouble giving the baby up when it's time). In the future, we might be able to grow babies in bio tanks in which case all you need is sperm, egg and one or more adoptive parents of any sex (incl. multi, fluid & none). Currently, if a guy wants to be a single parent, all he needs to do is fill in the appropriate adoption forms however there is a supportable bias against single parents as adopters.