Obviously, the "pearly" gates are to keep Satan and his minions out of heaven - everyone who is anyone knows that.
The jokes remind me of one that I recently read on Judith Hayes' website:
God is timeless. From the book of Amos, Chapter 6, Verse 12 through 19: “Thus saith the LORD; what troubles thee, Amos? And Amos answered, How long is a million years to you O LORD? And the LORD answered; It is but a minute. And Amos asked, How much is a million dollars to you O LORD? And the LORD answered; It is but a penny. And Amos beseeched the LORD, asking, May I have a penny O LORD? And the LORD answered; Yes, Amos, in a minute.” (KJV)
http://www.thehappyheretic.com/11-10.htm
The jokes remind me of one that I recently read on Judith Hayes' website:
God is timeless. From the book of Amos, Chapter 6, Verse 12 through 19: “Thus saith the LORD; what troubles thee, Amos? And Amos answered, How long is a million years to you O LORD? And the LORD answered; It is but a minute. And Amos asked, How much is a million dollars to you O LORD? And the LORD answered; It is but a penny. And Amos beseeched the LORD, asking, May I have a penny O LORD? And the LORD answered; Yes, Amos, in a minute.” (KJV)
http://www.thehappyheretic.com/11-10.htm
"If there are gaps they are in our knowledge, not in things themselves." Chapman Cohen
"Shit-apples don't fall far from the shit-tree, Randy." Mr. Lahey
"Shit-apples don't fall far from the shit-tree, Randy." Mr. Lahey