Cruz dropped out of the running for president.

[Minimalist]

Borowitz:


http://www.newyorker.com/humor/borowitz-...Mzc0MTQwS0

Senate Officially Mourns Return of Ted Cruz

In a rare moment of consensus for this bitterly divided chamber, both Republicans and Democrats expressed their sorrow, but the news of Cruz’s return seemed to cut the deepest among Republicans, many of whom now regret their decision not to endorse the Texas senator for President.

“If that bastard had somehow been elected President, we would have only had to see him one day a year, at the State of the Union,” Senator Orrin Hatch (R-Utah) said. “I should have done everything in my power to make that happen. And now it’s too damn late.”