(May 10, 2016 at 2:44 am)robvalue Wrote:(May 9, 2016 at 11:26 pm)Mamacita Wrote: I'm feeling tired, hungry, sleepy, and slightly interested in a cuddle, but that's so not hardcore and I will deny it until the day I die. In fact, I didn't type this. A mod changed my post. Damn you, mods!
Sending you lots of hugs sisYeah, that was me, so I could have another hug with someone
I'm struggling the last few days. I'm going through a dip with my ME, and my depression was hitting me hard yesterday. I did get some enjoyment out of my day out yesterday, we had a lovely walk with our dog and my wife's parents, but the clutches of depression were tainting everything. It's not fair on Emma either, but she's amazingly understanding. I need loads of cuddles too, especially when I'm depressed, more than I can realistically expect one person to give. I'm a very affectionate person, and I crave affection too. I do tell Emma that it's my problem, I can't expect her to be pandering to me all the time, especially when life is so busy and hard for her living with me.
It's so hard when it feels like the bottom falls out. There's no particular reason my mood drops, it just does, and it's almost impossible to get it back. All I can do is wait it out and try to stop myself feeling worse. It leaves me vulnerable to the mental tricks of my depression, as it tries to twist reality by mixing a grain of truth with a ton of horse shit. Even when I can logically see through its games, the emotional power behind them make it hard to believe my own reasoning.
It's hard to say how I feel this morning. Anxious that I'm still going to feel depressed when I get up and do things. I really hope not, Emma has another day off and I want to enjoy it with her. I feel guilty that I have a wonderful wife yet I still feel this way.
It helps to have you guys here so I can pour my heart out, thank you
We love you, Rob. Your good heart shows.
