RE: Sexual addiction
June 9, 2016 at 3:10 am
(This post was last modified: June 9, 2016 at 3:13 am by Thumpalumpacus.)
(June 8, 2016 at 12:55 am)SteelCurtain Wrote:(June 7, 2016 at 12:16 pm)Dust_bunny Wrote: Why does sexual addiction usually end in the death of feelings, or some painful drama or heartbreak? Why cant humans fuction correctly when they are madly desiring someone?
Because when sex is an addiction, you are not madly desiring someone. You are madly desiring sex. Other people get swallowed up and spit out used because the primary focus tends to be in gaining that 'high' rather than having a mutually beneficial experience. This destroys relationships, and eventually your social pool from which to draw partners dries up. Then trouble follows.
(June 7, 2016 at 12:16 pm)Dust_bunny Wrote: What if two people who just madly desired one another, just kept having great sex happily and never stopped to bother with worrying about whether or not its an addiction and just choose to enjoy the pleasures and still love and desire each other in the morning...
What you are describing is not addiction. If both partners are satisfied, both partners are aware of the boundaries of the relationship, and both partners are able to stay within those boundaries, you aren't describing addiction---you are describing a healthy sexual relationship.
Addiction doesn't mean "likes to have sex a whole lot," or "has sex a whole lot." If it were the former, I think that would include most of the population.
Rather, addiction in any form is marked by lack of control of a behavior combined with personal consequences, and a prioritizing of continuing the behavior without regard to those consequences, or at least in preference to them.
The difference between sex and making love is that the former is about pleasing oneself, while the latter is about subsuming oneself into a larger whole.
An addict, to any stimulus, be it chemical, social, or sexual, will always put the service of his or her addiction above anything else -- not just the feelings of others, but even above their own feelings. That's because an addict serves a master; an addict chases the rainbow.
That being said, I'd prefer to be addicted to a little panocha, rather than booze or drugs.
