Active listening within friendships

[Edwardo Piet]

I definitely think it is possible to very much overdo active listening. However I think there is a time and a place. Not everyone needs it and it isn't always helpful, but I think perhaps it is helpful at least to me, when I am applying it correctly.

This article interests me, at least certain parts of it anyway

http://friendship.about.com/od/Improving...ndship.htm

Here are some sections of the article that I find especially helpful to me:

Clear out preconceived notions of what you think your friend is going to say. (This is especially important between people that have known each other a long time, because you've probably heard them talk about things a bunch of times and think you know them. To truly listen, pretend you've just met them.)

Before commenting or offering advice, determine if your friend is asking for this. (They might just want to vent and figure it out without your help.)

It's natural for friends to develop a shortcut with communication after a while, so active listening isn't done every time people talk. However, it's important not to get complacent about communicating with friends. Don't get into such a routine that when your friend really needs you to pay attention she has to ask.

Use active listening when:

You're having a lot of small disagreements. This is a sign that someone isn't paying attention.
Your friend tells you that you just don't get it.

Active Listening Lets You Understand Your Friend's Feelings

Many of the misunderstandings between friends happen when one friend is shocked that the other reacted a certain way, or had hurt feelings over something they thought was a small issue. Despite knowing our friends, there are times when we can't comprehend the way they feel. Understanding your friend's emotions behind an issue can help you decipher times when your friend is acting "out of character" (to you, at least) or has behaved in a way that is confusing to you. It helps to be self-aware so you can understand your part in things as well, or at least how you are coming off to your friend.

Of course, I am not superman so I am unable to follow this advice every time it is appropriate. But I do however think that is nevertheless good advice sometimes and I reckon that making an effort to follow it will be helpful to me.

If anyone else can relate to the article at all or these quotes from it that I have provided, or if anyone wants to leave any comments on this post whatsoever that is of course welcomed. The purpose of this thread is just for others to relate to myself and/or the article I linked and quoted from if they so wish.

Just feel free to say whatever (within the rules of AF of course )