The "Cultural Context" Excuse

[Rev. Rye]

And deliberately ignoring the ones that work in my favor.

But it doesn't work in your favor.

You clearly stated.

It is also worth noting that, in the verse before it, Eve's words heavily imply that it the temptation was not, in fact, sexual in nature: "And the Lord God said unto the woman, What is this that thou hast done? And the woman said, The serpent beguiled me, and I did eat."

*emphasis mine*
As I pointed out, 'beguile' is synonymous with 'seduce', so the implications are there, you just willfully choose to ignore it.

So, I have to ask: does this phrasing make sense? "And the Lord God said unto the woman, What is this that thou hast done? And the woman said, The serpent made me have sex with him, and I did eat." If the serpent seduced Eve, then why talk about eating?

How does that reading make any more sense  than ""And the Lord God said unto the woman, What is this that thou hast done? And the woman said, The serpent deceived me, and I did eat." Your application of that definition would only make sense if you were actually going out of your way to support this dumb-ass thesis.

Granted, this is a book where Donkeys can talk and certain people can vanish into thin air instead of dying, and could potentially live 969 years, but it isn't as goddam moronic as you seem hell-bent on making it look.