RE: Understanding Narcissism
August 20, 2016 at 12:48 pm
(This post was last modified: August 20, 2016 at 1:00 pm by The Grand Nudger.)
Yup, and as it turns out the way to stop was precisely the thing the disorder strongly suggest against - which is why it's such a tight position, why it;s persistent and destructive unless you seek out treatment, or have it thrust upon you in review.
The silver lining, for me anyway, was that the experience opened my eyes pretty damned wide as regards who I am, why I do what I do, it challenged assumptions I made about myself...and let me realize that there were things I hadn't even considered.
It made me obsessively interested in theories of mind, and I used work..just long hard hours of work...as a way to keep myself out of situations that might cause me to engage in those behaviors while I was learning to distance myself from it....and I'd like to think that I became a better trainer because of it, in a roundabout way. Before that, I was your classic lazy shit of a range NCO. Do what I say because I'm right, hooah, I know my shit back to front and you don't. Pass fail pass fail pass fail, fuck you get out of my range i don;t care whether or not you feel confident in your knowledge or that my disinterest might get you killed. This is the infantry crybaby, suck it up. Beforte that I expected to move up (and had moved up) just by "putting in the time"...and it wasn't until after my little incident that I really put in the effort required to become proficient, rather than to be able to present myself as someone who seemed proficient. I stopped being a shitbag and became an effective joe, rather than just a trigger pulling gorilla.
(it didn't pay out, btw, I never saw another promotion, no recognition came my way on account of it....- they love that hooah shit, that's how you add bars to your chevrons- but I feel good about it, so that counts for something, lol)
The silver lining, for me anyway, was that the experience opened my eyes pretty damned wide as regards who I am, why I do what I do, it challenged assumptions I made about myself...and let me realize that there were things I hadn't even considered.
It made me obsessively interested in theories of mind, and I used work..just long hard hours of work...as a way to keep myself out of situations that might cause me to engage in those behaviors while I was learning to distance myself from it....and I'd like to think that I became a better trainer because of it, in a roundabout way. Before that, I was your classic lazy shit of a range NCO. Do what I say because I'm right, hooah, I know my shit back to front and you don't. Pass fail pass fail pass fail, fuck you get out of my range i don;t care whether or not you feel confident in your knowledge or that my disinterest might get you killed. This is the infantry crybaby, suck it up. Beforte that I expected to move up (and had moved up) just by "putting in the time"...and it wasn't until after my little incident that I really put in the effort required to become proficient, rather than to be able to present myself as someone who seemed proficient. I stopped being a shitbag and became an effective joe, rather than just a trigger pulling gorilla.
(it didn't pay out, btw, I never saw another promotion, no recognition came my way on account of it....- they love that hooah shit, that's how you add bars to your chevrons- but I feel good about it, so that counts for something, lol)
I am the Infantry. I am my country’s strength in war, her deterrent in peace. I am the heart of the fight… wherever, whenever. I carry America’s faith and honor against her enemies. I am the Queen of Battle. I am what my country expects me to be, the best trained Soldier in the world. In the race for victory, I am swift, determined, and courageous, armed with a fierce will to win. Never will I fail my country’s trust. Always I fight on…through the foe, to the objective, to triumph overall. If necessary, I will fight to my death. By my steadfast courage, I have won more than 200 years of freedom. I yield not to weakness, to hunger, to cowardice, to fatigue, to superior odds, For I am mentally tough, physically strong, and morally straight. I forsake not, my country, my mission, my comrades, my sacred duty. I am relentless. I am always there, now and forever. I AM THE INFANTRY! FOLLOW ME!
