Lust, sex, random thought

[Thumpalumpacus]

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I said girls have a tenancy towards risky sexual behavior without a father in the house.

No where did I blame the woman, no where did I absolve the father from responsibility.  

I showed my sources of data which support the claim that girls with absent fathers have a tendency towards promiscuous sexual behavior.

But you still claim that this shows I'm blaming women and I'm not presenting any sources.

I have to say I'm confused.

So now you switch it up to say "girls" instead of "females". And "risky sexual behavior" instead of promiscuous? This doesn't get a free pass. You can be promiscuous all you want and still take precautions to prevent disease and pregnancy. If a person is happy being themselves and that means exploring their world in a sexual manner with multiple sexual partners, then so be it, but you don't get to change your goal posts now because you are backpedaling. Risky sexual behavior doesn't always equate to being promiscuous.

While writing my second reply to you, I did not see the sources you presented in a later post. My apologies for that. I will check them out and give my thoughts on them in a bit.

I think you need to go back and read your post because I even bolded your claim of single mothers being failures, for you yet you still deny you said it, even with that evidence.

I'm reading this entire conversation to Rob, who is sitting here next to me and he said in response to your first post, "Dude, give it up. Open mouth, insert foot. Don't even bother using the K-Y." Even he got the message from your post that you were blaming single mothers for their "unsuccessful" raising of young, jobless and bored men.

Unsuccessful means a failed attempt at whatever the person was trying to do. So yes, you are blaming single mothers for that. Quit backpedaling already and stop trying to say that you weren't because it's here in black and white.

You may not have absolved a father from his responsibility, but nowhere in any part of your post did you even bother to say that men need to stand up and become stronger men in their community and help guide the young men of single mothers. Nope... you offered zero suggestions on how a MAN could step up and do his part.
Instead, your focus was entirely on women:

1. The failure of 1 parent, single mother households; your words, not mine.
2. The promiscuity of "females" and the lack of a role model for men, because there wasn't a father figure around; I guess males can't be promiscuous? Only females? Especially if there's no male role model?
3. single mothers trying to unsuccessfully raise bored, young jobless men who are in turn also not getting married or settling down; again, your words.
4. Your assumption of "Plus there's usually some dependence on welfare"; Exactly what was your point with that?

Rob's mother had him when she was 14 years old. His biological father married her when she was 15 or 16 years old. He was barely in the picture and when he was, he beat Rob's mom up. Their marriage ended when she was 19. Years later, she found a man who was willing to step up to the plate and be a dad. That man adopted Rob as his own son when Rob turned 13.

But for the first eight years of Rob's life, he was raised by his mother, mostly alone. Rob works hard, busts his ass and does what he can to provide for his family. His mother did NOT fail to raise him right. She worked and had a full time job and at one point in time, she was working two jobs just to make ends meet. She isn't lazy and she most certainly didn't need government assistance. She provided for the child she brought into the world.

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Rob's memories of his biological father are bad. Rob and his mother were in a better position with her being away from that man than staying with him.

This was largely the case with me. My biological father was a shitbag who beat my mother, and when she left him (I was three at the time, my sister, five) he would visit once in a blue moon. That lasted a couple of years. Even allowing for the four years we lived in Iran, it doesn't excuse his twelve years of not being in our lives. And when I reached out to re-establish contact, it lasted a couple of years ... until one day he decided that going out and getting drunk was more important. He left me standing in the rain, literally, waiting for him to pick me up so we could go out and spend some time together. When he lay on his deathbed, I had no intention of flying back to Texas to see him, but was talked into it for the sake of his soon-to-be widow. The tears I cried on his casket weren't over losing him, they were for what we never had. I'm still working on forgiving him, and don't know if I ever can.

My dad adopted me and my sister when we were five on my mom's remarriage, and he did the heavy lifting, teaching me things as mundane as throwing a football, or things as deep as perserverance in the face of long odds. He was a hard man to please, and I often felt as if I couldn't please him, but goddamnit, he cared.

Any asshole with a hard-on and a working set of testes can be a sperm-donor. It takes a man to be a father, and I will always think of my mother's wisdom in leaving her first husband. She did the right thing even if becoming a single mom in the 60s was a shit sandwich. I shudder to think how much more flawed I would be had she stayed with the guy who sired me.

IKR, the world turns on it.  Every teenage boy that's suffocating in strange is a teenage boy that -isn't- bombing a financial building.  

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