Ethics question for theists - serious - looking for opinions not argument.

[brewer]

Thanks, mh.  I appreciate it.  This person's questions got me wondering.  She's a very . . . judgmental sort of person.  

But I do agree with you (and my judgmental friend) about the deception.  It makes me uncomfortable.  I asked _____ why, and her response was that she just doesn't want people asking questions.  (Hmmm.  Not my business, though, really.)
     And it's not like she's just a con artist.  She really believes the stuff she's preaching.  (In fact, I have distanced myself a little because she gets preachy and pushy with me.  That "I'll pray for you to feel god's presence" crap can get annoying.)   She thinks that within a decade, people will be more accepting, and she'll be able to be honest about her home life.  We'll see . . .

Were there not honest ways to avoid questions like "my spouse has other conflicting duties/responsibilities"?

The lie makes this is a con any way that you look at it. But, she is not unique. There are plenty of people who run cons in religion. This just makes her a hypocrite also.